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Thread: Very strange problem, please read!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    Very strange problem, please read!

    So this has now happened to me twice now:
    I'll get a girls number at a party or some other social situation, call her a few days later and spend a good five minutes talking to her. I'll ask her some open-ended questions and crack some jokes to make her laugh. Then, I'll propose a casual lunch and we'll make plans for a certain time and day. I EVEN TELL HER that flakiness is a pet-peeve is mine to set a standard and avoid what happens next...

    The problem occurs when the actual day of the lunch comes up. I'll text her beforehand and ask her if we're still on for the lunch and she will give some excuse. In order to not appear desperate, I'll say something like "Like I told you, flakiness is one of my pet-peeves but I'd still like to get to know you, how about we reschedule and you can make it up to me? "
    After this, she says "But I don't even know you." and I try to explain that the whole point of going out to lunch is to get to know eachother. At this point I got a response of "No you're weird sorry"

    This is ridiculous. I am generally very successful with girls, I could not think of a better way to handle the situation and I got completely shut down... if you can help, it would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    USA, Arizona, Tucson
    I am not going to lie... that is kind of weird. Well I mean most of that is good stuff.

    But you are missing some crucial things, don't get me wrong I am no pro at this. I just know how some girls work.

    When a girl goes to a party, she isn't going there to make friends (This is a generalization). They go there for a few different reasons depending on the personality of the woman:

    1. Get Laid, these are the ***** ones, a lot of times they won't actually give it up to you all the way. You will only get a jerk off and a few fingers in before she stops you from going any further.
    2. Depressed drunks, they drink because they have some time of problem they want to drink away. They will not usually want to talk to anyone but if they do they really don't care about them. They have their own problems to deal with.
    3. Cool drunks, they drink because its cool, so since they want to be cool they drinnk.
    4. Crazy drunks, these ones are just straight up crazy, once drunk they go and do about anything, but usually don't remember what they did that night, so they won't remember talking to you.

    I mean depending on the type you are talking to (There are a few more in the list but they are more rare) then it depends on if they actually want to hang out with you.

    My best advice is to seal the deal that night, if you have your own place maybe go there or something of that sort.

    If you get her number, then you can do a few things from there though. I mean I did that one time then threw a little party at my house then only invited a select few, including her. Then make sure she drives herself and doesn't really know too many of the other people. Make sure she drinks, then she can't drive home. So you just offer her to spend the night.

    Or if you are going for a different type of relationship I would suggest going to see a movie. I don't know anyone that asks someone out to get lunch. Thats what old people do (Okay well Young Adults in there 20's and what not) but lunch is something that just seems kind of weird to ask someone below their 20's to do with you. Not if you don't know each other yet atleast.
    Once upon a time...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    New England
    I think it takes more than meeting at a party and talking for a few minutes on the phone to become comfortable enough to catch a "casual" lunch even...this is the age of caution for alot of women and the more they know..the better they feel doing something like that.

    How about talking to a girl a few times on the phone before asking her out?

    Just a thought..

    "My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny."

    Elaine Maxwell


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