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Pacifying Their Fears And Gaining Their Trust

People have a subconscious need to stay free and emothinally uncommited. Therefore, they will go to great lengths to avoid circumstances which threaten to limit that freedom.

It is important to excercise restraint when sharing your hopes and dreams with the one you want. There are some things you need to keep to yourself! Anytime you start to let on that your future happiness is hinging on them, particularly by your verbal intimations of this, the will begin to feel trapped. Sensing the responsibility being placed on them before they have decided they want it, their instinctive reaction will be to get out of the situation before they get in even deeper.

On the other hand, if you keep your intentions to yourself, you an keep the relationship developing while the bonds of attachment grow ever stronger.

People want to fall in love of their own volition, and not be pushed.

Show You Care But Don’t Say It!

Don't let your conversation contain too many implied expectations of commitment when you are communicating with the one you want.

As long as stress is present in a relationship, communication will be inhibited. This makes it difficult for a relationship to grow. Avoid talk that implies commitment to one another.

It is o.k. to show that you care through your actions, but show a little inconsistency when it comes to expressing it. Don't say it. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Whatever you do, don't let your conversation indicate that your present or future happiness depends on the person's reciprocation of your feelings. Don't let the person know that your future plans are beginning to include him or her. This will scare the person off.

SHOW, DON'T TELL

Don't verbalize your feelings. Hold back, especially in the first few months of active dating. It's o.k. to show that you care. It's O.K. for the one you want to even become a bit suspicious that you might care. But don't verbally confirm at this early stage.

This goes for written communications as well as the spoken word. Sending little cards, notes, and letters that hint your love will only sabotage your efforts to really win someone's heart.

Remember, people do not run from your love. They run from getting committed to something they are not yet sure of. So unless sufficient time has elapsed to allow the other person's feelings to grow and become strong, any threats to their freedom will produce psychological barriers and caused the person to start avoiding contact with you.

BECOMING ADDICTED TO LOVE

Many psychologists and counselors have described being in love as a type of addiction. In fact, there is some evidence that the pleasurable physical symptoms accompanying romantic lover, such as increased heartbeats, sweaty palms, and a feeling of euphoric infatuation, actually do result from the released of phenylethylamine in the brain when the appropriate psychological and emotional responses are triggered.

Just give the one you want consistent, caring attention, without any indications of anything out of the ordinary. Later, once your special someone is addicted to your unconditional, consistent and caring attention, there will be plenty of time to start receiving love in return.

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