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Confronting Diplomatically

When the one you want feels completely understood and accepted by you, their ability to resist loving you will go right out of the window. They will find themselves falling in love with you in spite of all contrary logic and their best efforts to resist.

Confront Resistant Behavior.

As you attempt to develop a relationship with someone you want, quite often they will begin to experience doubts about what they are getting into. They will begin to have personal secrets reasons which they convince themselves that the relationship is wrong and they hesitate to get any deeper. This will lead to resistant behavior towards you and manifest in symptoms of moody behavior, guarded and unresponsive communication, disrespect towards you or even avoidance of you.

Such behavior needs to be confronted. If the feelings underlying this type of behavior remain buried, they will ultimately descry the relationship altogether.

Through unselfish and caring confrontation on your part, such resistance may be defused.

The following is a method to show that you CARE.

CARE: Confront, Ask, Reassure and Empathize

Confront the person's uncooperative behavior. "Maybe I am mistaken, but I sense that something is wrong..."

Ask for a confirmation or denial of your observations. "Am I reading you right? Is something actually bothering you?"

Reassure the person of your intention to merely understand (not judge) on the basis of what is admitted, especially if there seems to be a little hesitancy for them to express their feelings. "...I am willing to just listen, if you are willing to talk. I just care how you feel..."

The biggest breakdown in communication is the fear of being judged.

Empathize. Be understanding. Once the person does start to open up a little bit, don't blow it. Just listen, like you promised you would. Don't criticize. Don't try to change the person's mind or show how their reasoning is wrong.

Don't panic when he or she states that the two of you are not right for each other. Remain calm, no matter how much of a personal rejection their words become. Allow the person to get those sentiments out in the open and have you be completely accepting of them.

Be totally accepting at the time of the discussion, but reinitiate contact with the individual several days later, without warning, and show your intentions to maintain this friendship even without romance.

Your willingness to let the one you want open up to you at a pace comfortable to them, coupled with your obvious sensitivity that something was bothering them in the first place, will encourage them to rely more and more upon you. This method of understanding is one of the finest ways to communicate love and overcome any obstacles that may be blocking romantic progress with the one you want.

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