What are intellectual ways to be Romantic?

[MyMatt2003]

I just want some opinions or inputs about this.... I mean I understand ways to be romantic.. But I want more then physical ways... (kinda hard to put it) How do you be romantic, without being physical?? Like when your on a date, or when you someone your intrested in at school, how do you mentally be romantic? like how do attract their intrest or show it? that ur being romantic?

[jurupa]

I would say by drawing a mental picture in there mind of a romatic place or setting. And then descriping what would happen and go on at this place or setting.

[hueffmea]

Matt Your such a guy I love you!
That being said I am a straight male who is happily married.
Okay what is intellectual romance?
Very good question for guys it can be hard to figure these things out. We need measurements, and parts and pieces. If you aren't doing anything nothing gets done, right!
Absolutely,
Now first let me explain a relationship like building a house.
Everyone has heard of "laying the foundation for a relationship" but what does that mean?
There are several stages in the beginning of a relationship. One of the first is getting to know each other. History, views, opinions, the closer you are the more detailed it gets. Did you have childhood pets? Did you have imaginary friends? Who was the first person you kissed? What was your favorite cartoon as a kid? All this stuff is a little embarrassing but it's the kind of stuff you learn. After that phase is mostly complete we have built up trust. Then over time that trust has to hold. While it's holding, much like concrete setting. Other things need to be done. New situations are encountered and how you handle them shouldn't be shocking to your partner. There is also the issue of the closet. There is a stage where everything you didn't want your partner to know is going to come out. This is the stuff you wish never happened and you didn't want to tell anyone unless it was serious. Now that is serious it may seem like you lied to your partner. This is a good time to test the strength of your relationship.
Now what does all of this have to do with intellectual romance?
While we plug away at building our relationship women tend to have lapses where they sit back and admire what's already built.
They like to remember the past and dream about the future.
Much of intellectual romance has to do with letting them do that.
Sometimes it's living out a fantasy like having a picnic in the park.
I really hate picnics.
There's always to much wind, the grass makes my skin sting, it's isn't comfortable or the picnic table is to dirty.
It's a pain in the ass to bring all you food out there and bugs do not make a good seasoning to chicken.
Still this is probably something she has dreamed about and doing it is intellectually romantic.
For us guys we just have to suck it up and be Ken for awhile.
It's worth it in the end.

[MyMatt2003]

to hueffmea, thanks for your reply
but I have a question..

How much info is to much??
Like when I meet someone new, and they tell me about some of things they did in the past (preferable my ex) it's like whoa! thats not good!, what things should I tell and what things should I not tell? (like ex g/f's? or the past?

[hueffmea]

A good general rule of thumb (and this is a rule of thumb not a law of physics, use accordingly) is if you are thinking about saying something do it. If she starts talking about X's tell her about yours. If she tells you about her first kiss don't jump to the first girl you had kinky sex with.
It also helps to, "Speak Female". Relate your experiences to feelings, for example, "Wow you had someone do that to you to? I was so in love with my last girlfriend and we dated for 7 months then all of the sudden she was canceling all these dates and I found out she was sleeping with other guys. I was so broken up, I kept thinking, "What did I do wrong?".
Guy translation, "She's a slut and I dumped her."
See how one sounds better than the other does?
This works well when you use feelings as your subject link.
She can tell you about a guy who stood her up on a date and how that made her feel worthless. You can then tell her how your girlfriend made you feel like that when she took you out with her friends and dogged on you all night. The two are almost unrelated except for how it made you feel.
That's a good way to get your history out there.
Now it may be that you are on a totally different level.
It maybe that she’s a regular church goer and your a pervert.
In that case if you feel like she is pulling back from you stop talking give it some time to settle. If she pushes for more information you owe it to her. If she holds it against you she's not the type of person you'd want to have a long term relationship with anyway.
Sometimes while history is coming out your partner or you gets shocked. I distinctly remember a friend who came to me with the following problem.
"I really like this girl but we were talking last night and the subject got around to how dogs can embarrass you by...licking themselves. She started acting kinda funny and she told me that when she was like 14 she did her dog once!"
Okay, that's a shocker! The question is after the shock is over and it settles in your mind is that a dealbreaker for you? Maybe it is and your relationship is done. Maybe it isn't and you can eventually get over it and respect her honesty.
So how much info is too much? None, but timing is important.
That help any?