Please help me get my husband back!

[bluemoon]

I was married for 7 years but in the last 2 we start having problems( we fought a lot) , he told me that we needed to separeted for a while , and we have been apart for 5 months.He is going out whith a girl but he is acting very crazy( he has like 3 other womans) and he was not like that.He has always told me that he love me but that we can not be toguether for the figths(I was to insecure)(i am changing)He has never ask me for a divorce and the other day I saw him in a pub and he spend all night looking at me( all my friends sow him)

I need some advice because I want to have him back I know deep in my heart that he love me but I make to many mistakes(one time I try to hit him with my car)(I am on terapy for this problems)I was for so long with him that I forgot the art of seduction, please give me some tips,sometimes we go out like friends and I need to use every oppotunity !!!
PLEASE HELP < I LOVE HIM!!!:)

[Kaisharga]

One time i try to hit him with my car

Oh. My. God.

You are lucky that man hasn't divorced you and sued you for all your money and then some. He must love you, but I'd bet anything that he's scared out of his wits.

More to the point, you need to sort things out for yourself, and develop as your own person, and know and love yourself before you can really truly love another. Continue with the therapy, make sure you get all your problems sorted out, until you know that you can treat him right and can really appreciate him and won't threaten him like that ever again (because, really, that's really REALLY bad). Because if you can't respect and appreciate him, then it's not really love; it's infatuation.

Note: This whole process will take time, and a lot of it. But if you rush it, things may end up only being worse. And don't think of it as 'getting him back,' think of it as 'making sure you're okay.'

--Kaisharga

[LeBlueBoy]

Sounds like the "seven year itch." The guy is seven years older and seven years closer to the grave.

If you want this to work out, give the guy some space and put him out of your mind for awhile. This will do two things: It will give you enough distance to reaccess the situation (and decide if you really want to continue pursuing it) and it will give him enough space to come around if he still really has feelings for you.

Stop chasing...most guys see this as an attempt to drag them back into the same situation they were trying to escape in the first place. The reason for him walking away may have been triggered by some other aspect of his life that needs changing (or he feels needs changing)--it could be his job, his relationship with his parents, it could be him losing his hair or regretting stupid choices he made when he was a teenager.

It never makes any sense to anyone who's never went through this type of experience. The old line "My wife doesn't understand me" is an understatement. Quite honestly, I doubt the guy in this situation really understands what's driving him into making a lot of apparently bizarre life altering decisions.

If he has the space to discover why he needs to "get away", he has a better chance of resolving the problem on his own than he does if you continue to force things back to "normal" again.