which board should u go to for advice on winning her back??

[garvald]

I was dumped by my fiancee over a month ago. I was paying for utitilities and not enough (i guess) for groceries. We were together for five months and ive never bought an engagement ring until I met her. She moved into my house with the verbal intention of paying half my mortgage in rent along with utitilites. I am paying for all of that.
After I got her the ring she was ecstatic for a week or so and then the honeymoon ended! She started laying into me each Sunday before I went back to work. I teach in another town and have an apt there.
She finally gave it all out so I gave it back to her with a verbal barrage. She said it was over and told me that I was to obsessed with saying pennies. My bank account was going down to nothing at that rate but i was still called tight. Her best friend said I was starving her children.
Was it good that she left?? Part of me is happy for the freedom of all that financial responsibility and one part of me still loves her and wants to get back together. She went back to her parents in another state so they could help watch her little girl (she wont have her in day care) while she looked for work.
I am not going to beg to have her back but she needs to go halfway and realize how scary it is to immediately become a father as i was especially to the little 2 year old girl.
Advice anyone?
ps. She has kept the engagement ring. Wassup with that??
John

[Angeleyes]

Hi G welcome to ACME.

Advice from a woman……………be glad that the nightmare’s over. Looks like she was using you anyway so where’s the love in that. Be glad that you didn’t marry her as she sounds like the kind of woman, that if you had the relationship wouldn't have lasted anyway, and then you'd have had more expense in paying alimony to her for the rest of your life!

Try and put it behind you and move on. May be a bit hard as you still have some feelings left for her (lord only knows why but that’s not for me to judge), but these will go in time.

Good luck.

Angeleyes:angel:

[garvald]

Unfortunately I still want her back. She has my engagement ring and I was wondering about telling her that she could hold onto the ring as long as she expected us back together. Otherwise the ball will be in her court to send it back if she doesnt want us back together. What do u think of suggesting that? She imed me the other day because she was wanting to see if i was ok about being alone during the holidays.
I told her that I was flattered she was still worried about me.

[Kaisharga]

Seems to me like she was trying to spite you with that IM. Of course, I can't tell without knowing it all, so we'll just leave it at that.

My advice is just to totally write her out of your life. She promised to help with mortgage et cetera, and you graciously took up that responsibility for her, in whole. And she still bit your head off for pinching pennies? Hello? Who's paying the bills?

You need to get away from her, mostly in the emotional sense. She's no good for you, and you're clearly not good enough for her. Don't even worry about the engagement ring, because it's not worth screwing with to get it back or whatever else. Let her throw it away or melt it or whatever--it's hers now, and seems to mean nothing to her anyway.

And whatever you do, STAY away from her. Look elsewhere for love, because you sure aren't finding it here.

--Kaisharga

[amancalledhawk]

Garvald,
it's been a while since you've written about your situation. So, did you get back with her? Have you gotten over her? What's going on, and where are you at in this relationship?
I'm curious as to the advice you asked for and got, versus, the reality of you really wanting to be with her.
Hawk

[fallen angel]

oh my...
be glad your out of that...she seems like a gold digger who want you to be her free ride....

[garvald]

She called me back Monday night long distance asking about how the surgery went with my father (hes fine now:). At the end I might have made the mistake (?) of telling her that I miss her. Tears were coming but she did not know that. She replied that she knows i do!
How does she know when she has been calling me.
I often think of her and the happy times we had over the last several months and of her intelligence and beauty...Part of me wants to get back together with her but I dont want to beg for her or sound like i want her back too much!
so I wrote the following story:He has a connection to windows of the past. He sends what he thought was the love and the best friend of his life. He loves that girl and wants to see this girl. He wonders if this letter will reach her when she would do anything to be with him.
He goes back into the holograms of time stored in the hard drive memory of his mind. She had just warmed him up when she arrived in the middle of the night. She warmed him up along with warming his heart and soul as it never had felt so warm since he was a small child with his loving mother. She warms him like no other woman has warmed him when he comes back from the chill of the cold bathroom. Every surface of her body gives him heat for him to absorb into his cold body. Total osmosis of her heart from her soul permeating his. Their bodies fuse as they totally immersing bodies connecting with love.
He comes back from time to see this commercial about a father waiting for his daughter to come get him to take him to wedding procession, before he hands her over. You see a man late 50s early 60's deep in thought almost depressed (from the loss?), but then his daughter comes over to him. He greets her with his bitter-sweet smile of a father afraid of losing his daughter but knowing that her heart will always be with him.
So as he watches TV he has a vision of him at 65 with his soulmate"s daughter. He tells his best friend of a couple months ago that she would have been the mother of their daughter. He is thinking about the song "when im 64" and the fact that George and John never made it there.
He sends off the letter with the fantasy that he will be that 65 year old at his own daughter's wedding telling her that he hopes that she will be the mother of his soulmate's daughter. Regardless of what happens in the future, he wants her to be there for his daughter also. He hopes that they will always be friends enough so that she can either be the mother or the godmother of his future love child from total soul connection.....


What does everybody think of my literary license?? What do u think from a female perspective what she will think of this?? opinions ladies?? or men

[TroubleX2]

G....

Story is good... but man I gotta say... you need to cut your losses and start to heal. It sounds like you were very emotionally invested in this relationship, it will take some time to heal.

One thing you said makes me think that she has no plans of making a relationship work. "She replied that she knows i do! " In my mind I would say things like that when the more appropriate response of "I miss you too" isn't true or I will not commit to saying that.

If she did want to repair and heal your relationship she would at least (IMHO) be able to tell you she misses you too.

I know how you feel and I'm very sad for you (my poetry speaks to the pain I've had.....) but you need to focus on yourself and your emotional and inner well being.

It is not out of the question for you to ask for the engagement ring back either. That was a token of what was to come, a contractual item if you will. If the engagement is off then you should receive your ring back (IMHO again).

Hello Sweet People, allow me to introduce myself,
Sweetly So...
I am Sweetness, Sweet Sweeterthansweet,
sweetlysweet4u,smoothnsweetus, sweetsweeter2, justsweetness4u, sweetnesssweeter,
sweeterhoney4u..
Ohhhhhhhhh, my my, my, What Sweetness Can Do...
SWEETNESS GOT IT LIKE THAT, WHAT ABOUT YOU...
--Hey, I'm SWEET, SO SWEET, JUST LIKE U
Sweet Sweet Baby Bu
Here to bring that sweetness out of you...
in every sweet way, of every sweet day,
bringing sweetness to say...
in all your getting...get understanding...then get sweet,
sweeter than sweet, sweetly so...Nothing is better than
sweetness...let sweetness go...
sweet dreams, sweet blessings, sweet sweely so,
let sweetness in, let sweetness take hold...
-SWEETNESS MY SWEET, YOU HAVE JUST BEEN TOLD
If your are feeling it 2, get with SWEETNESS, BU....

[TroubleX2]

Anyone elses teeth/cavaties hurt???

That was a HUGE dose of SWEETness :devil: :eek: :D

Welcome Sweet THANG!!

[voland]

She's a money-grubbing whore and you're a penny-pinching S.O.B., get over it and find another woman to walk all over you... there are plenty of them out there.

[moodiem]

Wow, thats a mean message!

[dewshine]

Ok G here's one thing to consider...a relationship is built on two equals both doing their share in a relationship. You should be mad at her for not doing her share and making it a one way relationship. Women like her just take and take and only give back just enough to keep them in their cushy relationship.

Sounds to me like you really want her back and if given the chance you would go back to her...don't. I went through something similar and so has my friend who was married for 15 years and then found out her hubby had a sex slave on the side. For 2 years she mourned and tried to get him back....no luck. Well now she's happy she doesn't have him, in retrospect he put her through hell and worse because he used her feelings against her.

You have to try and see the situation for what it was...she was using you. If you still want to reconcile then my suggestion is that you do so on your terms...make her pull her weight, if she really loves you she will out of respect for you and the financial future you are building for both of you.

Oh and I would ask for the ring back, you may find she doesn't have it anymore (I hope that's not the case) but why should she hold on to it? According to the law you are entitled to have it back unless you gave it to her on christmas, then it's considered a gift.

Good luck!!

[MyMatt2003]

This chick is using you!!!, Yeah, she broke your hurt, but things happen for a good reason. Thats why your not with her, suck it up like every other guy and take like a man. Yeah, it hurts but there are greater tragdies in the world. Go out, find a rebound do what you have to do to get by. But don't scurm back to her like a little worm.

[moodiem]

Garvald,

I am the one that loves you.

Milicent

[garvald]

I love u too, Milicent!
John

[RosaMystica7]

:eyebrow:

[garvald]

What does that face mean?

[dewshine]

hehe that face reminds me of Groucho Marx....hehe