In love with a much older man

[ginger]

Have anyone fallen in love with a much older man? How do you feel? What others say? Let's share your experience with us.
:goof: :love:

[katty]

Hum, i am 21 and my boyfriend is 28. Do you consider him as old man? :lol:

Anyway, i am really proud to have him as my boyfriend. He is handsome, more or less stable and a nice man. (self-praise is no praise) :D

Friends around me who are the same age, have boyfriend a maximum of 3 years older, but for me it is 7 years, and i think it is fine. Friends and family haven't said much, or critise, etc. They are supportive of my relationship with him.

Of course there is a little roughness, like i am more childish, while he is more mature. But he loves that. :p I feel so fortunate.

[Preepy Princess]

I find nothing wrong with dating an older man i'm only 14 and i was dating a 21 year old guy sure none of my friends liked it too much but if your happy thats all that matters :)

[nekosmilee]

I think that dating a much older man is just like dating someone your age or something. There absolutely nothing wrong with that, except the ages. And age is nothing but a number...what matters is the love that you have for each other. Age...don't worry about age, if you have great feelings for this man...then let it be.

[willow]

Hey!
When I was 18, I was in love with a 32 year old guy and well, I felt things could not work out with that much of an age difference and did nothing about it bt now that I think about it, I probably should have told him how I felt...If you love him age shouldn't be an issue.
Take care,
Willow

[seductiveninja]

Originally posted by Preepy Princess
I find nothing wrong with dating an older man i'm only 14 and i was dating a 21 year old guy sure none of my friends liked it too much but if your happy thats all that matters :)

:eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2:

[Blue Girl]

Well, I'm 21 and I'm in a relationship with a man who just turned 31, there are about 9 years and 2 months separating us, and it's been wonderful thus far. He's amazing and I feel so lucky to have him by my side.

Ultimately though, I think you get past the age because in some respects I am a very mature 21 and in some respects he is a somewhat immature 31 (and I say that which the best of intentions). In other respects, I am a very immature 21 and he is quite mature in his old age :) Our strengths and weakness just happen to match up in a way that works for us.

If you really want to know if you can have a relationship with this older man you're just going to have to test the waters. Talk with him, get to know him and his flaws and his strengths and learn to recognize your own flaws and strenghts and figure out if you're compatible.

Sure, age is just a number. Age is just a number that sums up your life and your experience! Fortunately though, there is no absolute fixed realm of experience for every 31 year old man, nor is there one for every 21 year old woman. Thank God! Think how dull life would get with all of those generic people.

Go! Investigate! Discover!

[TheLizardQueen]

Blue-I am your age and my ex was 31 too!!!

I can't stand guys my age, it's the whole maturity thing for me. It's all about what works for you personally.

[badboykilla]

You guys are just throwing the word "mature" around...can someone explain what makes a person "mature". And lizardqueen, why do you assume that all guys your age are immature...i hate it when older girls use that as lame excuese. "Oh youre only 21, youre just a kid" Man whatever, people need to stop being hypocrites. First you say age is nothing but a number then you automatically think that an older guy will ALWAYS be more mature than a younger one....

[TheLizardQueen]

It's just my personal experience! I have been through a lot and I had to grow up VERY fast,which makes it difficult for me to relate to people my own age. My words were a little harsh, true, but again it's about what works for you as an individual, not about being a hypocrite.

[badboykilla]

Ha Ha

Yo Im sorry I didnt mean to tick you off. Let me ask you this...dont you think that there are some people out there(besides you) who had to grow up faster and lost their innocence at a much younger age?? You know, you arent unique, so why dont you give younger guys a chance?

[TheLizardQueen]

It's cool. I like a guy with a bit of spark ;)

For sure there are other girls and guy out there who have had their preferences in a partner shaped by their personal experience.
I have been out with younger guys, guys my own age too and I found that I just couldn't relate. I couldn't form a bond with them like I could with someone older than me. I do take people as individuals, so if another nice young fella comes along I'll give things a chance for sure. :)

[DaddysPrincess]

Age has nothing to do with anything. My boyfriend is 52 as well as I am 30. If you love him, then go for it! Live your life for you and not those around you! Rick, I love you baby!:heart:

[Bvaman69]

Hi Ginger,
In my case I'm the older person and am married to a woman 20 years my junior for ten yrs. My problem is her mind hasn't grown with her body.

She is 29 and acts like she is a teenager,she is really immature and that is my fault for marrying someone so young and I'll deal with it. I have joined this board (and others) as a way to get some mature female conversation.

Our sex life is great, it's just her damn immaturity. My big problem on these message boards is that women think that all men are assholes and only want sex.I realize that the chosen name doesn't help but ask my wife(It's Me).

Anyway Ginger, that is the whole sordid tale.If there are any unanswered questions let me know and I'll fill in the holes(no pun intended).:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[DaddysPrincess]

I am new to the whole "much older" guy relationship and I joined to see what other couples have to say about their relationship...I sometimes wonder how the families reacted etc. because I have yet to tell anyone because our relationship did start online....Me myself, I have no problem with his age and our relationship except I do worry what his family will say because he does have 3 kids close to my age...I don't want to come between him and his kids....But yet I feel we are all adults and know right from wrong...I don't think being in love with someone older is a bad thing........Nor do I feel guilty for what I share with him....Our relationship is not something we were out looking for, it is something that just happen.....We get along great and enjoy many of the same things as well as we both act our age.....I can see where someone being immature would cause a problem....
Have you yet to be open and honest and talk to her about the problem?......With me and Rick, in his past he never had to be honest in his relationships, but with me he has learned that communication is the key thing as well as honest.....So try talking to her and she what happens....I wish you the best of luck:).... And not all younger females act in such away.....:):heart: :lips:



If you ever need someone to talk to well,I am hear!

[Bvaman69]

Thank-you for notifying me first of all;secondly yes we have talked about it but all she seems to do is accuse me of picking on her and we end up arguing so I don't bother anymore.

She has for along time did her own thing taking off all the time to her parents
house and leaving me by myself.I don't mind her going to see her mother but she'll tell me that she is going for an hour or two and come home 5 hours later.

She doesn't do anything around the house (she works part-time) and I do all the cooking but all she does is go to her
mothers(which is only 20 minutes away)
or sleeps.

At 49 I do more on disability than she does at 29.

I hope things are going well with you and Rick as I think that when two people are in love age doesn't matter.

My wife only comes home when she wants to get her groove on and I'm not in the mood to take her leftover love.:eek: Keep in touch as there is alot more to this sad doap opera.:eek2:

[DaddysPrincess]

I am sorry that things aren't going so well but it seems that her heart is else where.....I think you would be better off without her....She doesn't deserve you are your love!......Keep in touch...:wavey:

[dewshine]

To comment on the age subject:

I personally don't care what age the man is as long as his personality and character are complimentary to my own. I've dated younger men who were mature, age doesn't bother me.

Bvaman, I'm sorry to hear about your relationship problems with your wife. You sound terribly unhappy about the things she does. Sadly at 29 there isn't much hope she'll grow up unless she's forced to... :(


Just remember maturity doesn't equal age and age doesn't equal maturity...

[Bvaman69]

First of all I thank all that responded to my post. secondly,she seems to be trying to be more attentive lately but that could be because I don't hide nothing.
She sees all the boards that I visit and we have also talked about her immaturity

I don't think she is seeing anyone else because she had a brief fling with a guy she knew in school because he paid attention to her at a bad time in our marraige, about 21/2 years ago and I forgave her but told her if it ever happened again I was gone forever.

This latest behavior has only been for a couple of months and now that she knows that I don't know if I want to continue in the marraige she is starting to fall apart.

I'm not complaining,it is just that I'll be
50 in NOV. and I don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting for little girl to grow up.

She knows I won't cheat but it is driving her crazy that I'm talking to other women.

Again thanks ladies.
:eek2:

[jurupa]

Originally posted by dewshine

Just remember maturity doesn't equal age and age doesn't equal maturity...
Totally true.


Bvaman69 it sounds like she has some security issuses that she doesn't know how to deal with. It aslo sounds like she wants this marriage to work, but at the same time she doesn't want it. Becuase she seems to "escape" from it a lot, but also do her part in the relationship. So basically she seems very twisted up inside and wants help but doesn't know who to trun to besides her mom.

[Bvaman69]

You might just be right. She does act a little weird (even for her) lately.

I would also like to say that she is no doubt, being told by the younger crowd that she would be happier witha younger man and her family who loves me and knows that I'm good for her are telling her to grow up.

She has to come to some conclusion soon as I am getting tired of her childish games.

I don't want to cheat on her,but, I'm past the game playing stage and she knows it. The really sad part is I know that I care for her, but I'm not sure that I love her anymore. And although She has
nobody but herself to blame;She can't seem to grasp the obvious.

So I stay in my own little world taking care of the children,cooking and cleaning, as it .takes my mind off of my
situation.

As far as being bothered by it; I'm not so much disturbed as knowing what a break-up will do to the boys and wondering why at 50 yrs. old I'm still waiting for her to straighten out(which she may never do).

I've also had chances for an affair or two and now,instead of being the faithful hubby;I find myself thinking why the hell not ?

These women are pretty,young but the clincher is they are very mature.

I just don't want to go from thr frying pan into the fire.:confused: :confused:

[jennifleur]

Hi... I think it's wrong to put an age limit on love. I recently met a man that is in his thirties and I'm only sixteen. Our personalities clicked instantly and it wasn't anything sick and pedifile-like... We can talk for hours about anything and everything. Everybody looks at large age differences between couples as a terrible sin that should be looked down upon in ALL situations. That's probably because they hear stories about old gym teachers taking advantage of their teenage students. When you're in love, you can look at the person for the first time and know that there would be nothing wrong with being with them (no matter what their age, looks, or even gender). There are some things that we can not control, and falling in love is one of them. Just so you know, I'm not with this man at the moment. We love each other, but we know we would never work. Society would never accept it. Also, he has a wife...and children... but that's another story...
PS: I know it may sound sick and twisted to many of you... but you can't understand unless you've been in love (or in a similar situation).

[LaB]

Let me tell you...thats sick. First off its illegal, secondly hes married and has children, thirdly do you really think he cared about anything you yapped about for hours on end. Sorry but average 30 year old and average 16 years old mentality dont just "click" for anything but sex. Dont be delusional.


Of course nobody understands.

(shakes head) 'another one of those'

[Ivy]

jennifleur-

You don't believe or understand this now, but hopefully you will a few years down the road. 16 year olds fall "in love" easily and it's not even love....it's infacuation (sp?). On top of that note, a married man RARELY has intentions of leaving his wife and looks outside the relationship for excitement/attention or whatever he's missing at home.

At least you were smart enough to agree on not trying to make it work because it never would as you said.

Date guys close to your own age: they're more on the same level with you and you can learn together about what a relationship entails and what love is.

Same goes to the little 14 year old girl dating the 20 or 30-something. That is just disturbing.....you hardly started puberity....or have you??

[terrifan]

I dont think age should be a barrier but also there should be a line drawn as with 16 year olds.

back to the topic. age doesn't play a role in love. i've fallen for a much older woman. sometimes i think its just infatuation. the trickey part is she is my ex girlfriend's mum. i can't stop thinking about her and am contemplating letting her know.

all this has more to do with physical attraction more than anything else though. love develops afterwards imho.