Internet dating?

[Pandora1980]

What do you all think about dating people you met on the internet? or even going to meet them?

Have you ever done it? How did it go? What did you tell your friends? Did you feel like a giant nerd?

Would you do it again?

[TroubleX2]

Boy are you asking the question of the day!

I have met women I've talked to online. Normally things go ok. BUT the thing to remember is that on the internet you can be ANYONE you want to be. Even if someone sends you a picture, there's no real basis to believe it's actually them (except for trust, which can be lost quickly online).

I'd have to say that ANYONE, not women more than men, need to be careful with someone they meet online. I've heard too many stories from my friends of bad situations that came about through internet dating. But on the other hand some of my best friends now have been people I've met through the internet.

Guidelines I've given to friends regarding meeting someone from the internet:

1. Never give out home address information, or any other personal information that can be used against you. Maybe a cell # or a pager # would be acceptable so long as it can't be traced to you and your home. (more for the women than the men)

2. First meetings should ALWAYS take place in a very public place. Bring a friend along with you(more for women again). Make it a very relaxed and easy going event, no pressure for either of you.

3. Make no commitments for anything beyond the first initial meeting. Don't make it a whole date night, maybe just dinner, coffee, etc. If things go well then for both parties then make more indepth plans.

4. Keep in mind that although you may have exchanged pictures, and talked for hours on end, this is still basically a blind date. She/He may not be exactly all they talked themselves up to be. This is the reason for having the first meeting be very informal and brief. Each party has the opportunity to back out or excuse themselves without ruining any plans.

5. Now that the downer info is out..... HAVE FUN! :D There are tons of great people to meet online, and not all of them are freaks and weirdos. But caution needs to be exercised for the simple reason that there are some scary people online.

[EKDS5k]

I dunno if you're still checking this thread or not, but this is to anyone thinking of dating online.

Before you invest a lot of time and emotions into the relationship, make sure he/she doesn't have a boy/girlfriend IRL, regardless of how he/she acts online.

This recently happened to me. She and I had been seeing each other for a few weeks, and I had developed feelings for her (see my other thread in the Romance board for details), and I was pretty sure she felt the same way. Then, she told me she had a boyfriend IRL.

She went on to tell me how much she cared for me, and that she thought her relationship with the other guy was going downhill. Still hurt pretty bad, though....

Anyway, things turned out alright for me (so far, anyway), she broke up with the other guy, and things are looking good.

The point is (dear god, there was a POINT to all that?), is that it easily could have gone the other way, and I'd have been screwed.

What was I saying? Ah yes. Make sure s/he has a boy/girlfriend BEFORE you get involved.

And yes, HAVE FUN! I know I am!

[masterjackass]

Well shit I broke every one of those rules that trouble listed.

1. I exchanged my information including home address and phone number.

2. Met at her apartment. Not really public.

3. Spent the whole day together. Not really coffee.

4. Everything was good to me. No need to back out.

5. Yep some interesting people online.

Piece of advice though is to see if they have a webcam. Like trouble said they can give you a picture and it couldn't tell you what they look like.

Another piece of advice is if you have yahoo messenger or AIM and a mic you can talk to them. So that sort of tells you right there if they are male or female and what age they could be.


Personally I think if you never plan on meeting the person then whats the point? Either you or they will find someone who they have met in real life and forget all about you. If you just want to be friends then thats fine, but if its actual dating you might as well plan on meeting them.

So to answer the original guy's questions. Have I ever done it? Yep.

How did it go? Great.

What did I tell my friends? Met a nice girl online and now we are starting to know each other in real life. Of course my next door neighbor asked if I had sex with her(all thats on his mind).

Did I feel like a giant nerd? Not really. Meeting people in any way shape or form is good. If it starts out over the internet and progresses into real life then thats perfectly acceptable.

Would I do it again? I've seen the girl 3 more times since the first time. All in about a month. Its going quite nicely.

So I guess to answer the big question is it worth it? Well it can be. Really its all luck of the draw. I guess you could end up meeting a 47 year old 6'5 400 pound hairy pedophile, but you could also end up meeting someone great for you. Its just luck of the draw.


To EKD its pretty bad when you've been talking to a girl for 3 weeks and she supposedly likes you and you like her only to find out she has a boyfriend. Almost sounds like she was using you as a backup. Or maybe just someone to talk to who allows her to get away from her problems in real life.

And yeah its probably a good idea to make sure the person doesn't have a bf/gf before you get to attached.

Problem is how can you really compete with a guy who she knows in real life while you only know her through your computer?

Piece of advice for meeting people online that you want to date. Make sure they live semi close. Furthest away you want it is probably 2-3 hours. And you also might want to make sure you both can drive. And if you can't do that at least make sure you live on the same land mass! Don't fall for someone who lives in Australia while you live in Wisconsin.

Okay well I hope my insight helps. Have fun with internet dating. It can really get interesting.

[EKDS5k]

masterjackass: Yeah, it was pretty bad, but I don't think she was just using me as a backup (at least I hope not, anyway). What basically happened was that we started talking over AIM, and I think we both developed feelings for each other unintentionally.

She told me she was scared to tell me because she didn't want to hurt me, and she didn't want me to hate her.

Like I said, though, she did tell me, and it did hurt, and I didn't hate her. I was scared I might lose her, and I couldn't think straight for a while.

I sent her an email, and explained how I felt. I also told her she had to make a choice between me and the other guy, and she did.

Lucky for me, she chose me over him, which I still find to be pretty amazing. I mean, picking a guy you probably won't see for months (I live in Edmonton, Alberta, and she lives in Indiana) over a guy you can see nearly everyday...

Anyway, long story short: Things worked out for us, and I'm planning on visiting in the spring, when classes end.

[masterjackass]

Hey EKD glad its working out for you. These things sometimes do and sometimes don't. I'd just like to say I got hurt in a way that could happen to you so be very careful. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm guessing your under 22.

The way it happened to me was we couldn't see each other for a few months. She couldn't wait that long so I was ed. I can understand though it wasn't her fault.

All for the better now though. Now I'm getting to know a girl who uhh lives a lot closer.

Your hopefully dealing with someone more mature.

And driving from Edmonton to Indiana is going to be a fun drive ;)

If you start burning CDs now you might have enough by spring ;)

Anyways good luck with the internet relationship. I still have faith in them. I hope it works out for you.

[fallen angel]

ive had sex with 3 people i met online...

how many rules did i break??

yes..they all lived more than 10 hours away...

:devil:

[Kaisharga]

That Devil smiley is smiling awfully big for you to seem to really be convinced of that 'celibacy' thing. :lol:

Not that I wanna discourage you from that or anything. Just don't be too uptight and paranoid about it :)

--Kaisharga

[Shattsy]

WELL... I SEEM TO HAVE THE SAME QUESTIONS IN MY HEAD AS PANDORA DOSE/DID. I LIVE IN BRISBANE AUSTRALIA AND A GUY I HAVE MEET ONLINE LIVES ON THE GOLD COAST, WHICH IS AN HOUR AND A HALF SOUTH OF BRISBANE. I HAVE GROW FEELINGS FOR HIM, I HAVE ASKED HIM IF HE HAS A GF AND HE TOLD ME HE HASNT WHICH I SUPPOSE IT A GREAT START. BUT A LITTLE DOWNFALL FOR ME IS THAT HE IS A LITTLE YOUNGER THAN MYSELF, ONLY A FEW YEARS THO BUT AS PEOPLE SAY THAT GIRLS MATURE A LOT MORE QUICKLY THAN GUYS WHICH IS KINDA NOT A GOOD THING AT THE MOMENT FOR ME. AS I KINDA WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM OR JUST CASUAL SEX FROM HIM. I HAVE TOLD HIM VIA EMAILS HOW I HAVE BECOME TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM. I WAS WANTING TO KNOW IF THIS WOULD SCARE HIM AWAY AS HE IS ONLY 18 YEARS OLD?????

[masterjackass]

About dating older women. Its works pretty damn well. Most guys like dating semi older women just because older women can be more mature and more stable. My girlfriend is 20 years old. And I am 17. We have a lot of fun together and its great going to her apartment. Privacy is nice.

Of course it matters how old you are. If your 37, and the male you like is 16 then it's pretty unacceptable.

Don't worry though, you won't offend him if he's 18. An 18 year old should probably want to date someone semi older.

Anyways, good luck at asking him out. It should go well.

[Shattsy]

Thanks MasterJackAss, I am only 22 in 2002 and the guy will be turning 19. So there isnt a lot of age differance there. Your reassurance i happily excepted as I was thinkin that I had scared him off with the email I sent him. The message that I sent him asked/told him if I was down the coast and was stayin in a hotel by myself would he come and see me? i didnt come out and also say for him to spend the night in the hotel with me, but that was what i was kinda getting at.

thanks again

[GstringPrincess]

Originally posted by Pandora1980
What do you all think about dating people you met on the internet? or even going to meet them?

Have you ever done it? How did it go? What did you tell your friends? Did you feel like a giant nerd?

Would you do it again?

Well I have met some of my best friend irl on-line first and I even met my irl boyfriend, who's great by the way, on-line.

It went great! Like I said best friends and even my boyfriend I met on-line. I told my friends I was meating a cool person i'd met on-line. I never once felt like a nerd. In fact I felt better 'cause I had no idea what these people looked like and that reinforced, to me, that looks don't matter to me.

!n a heart beat!

[Marco]

It is all the same for me to date a person ( in my case a woman ), either on the Internet or in person.
Good and bad is there everywhere and anywhere.
You just have to be good enough to understand where the good and the bad is.
You can tell unthruthful things either on the internet or in person.
The truth will soon or later come out.
The problem then will be for the one that were saying or showing things that were not true.
Marco

[CarinaZorra7426]

I've met people from online IRL. Some rules that I live by:

1. Make sure you have a getaway. When you get to where you are going to meet him/her call a friend on the cell and have them ready to call you back in 10 min. Bail if you have to!!

2. Make sure someone else knows where you are going.

3. Meet in a public place - a restaurant etc.

4. when leaving, wait til after they have left - if you can't, take a long way home, stopping off at wal-mart, target, the grocery store just make sure they can't follow you.


Also, get specifics - I met a guy, he told me that I'd know him cuz he's 6'4", has on a red tshirt, jeans, brown eyes, and a hoop in his left ear. He left out that his hair was colored marroon, cut into a mohawk, and his ear wasn't the only pierced part on him (think nose, 4 on each ear, eyebrow, tongue, lip, cheek - honest!) and that he had tats all up and down his arms, his neck and fingers (shudder to think what else was hiding where).

NIce guy, but he should have told the truth - I wouldn't have had to try to disguise my shock at seeing him. (thought to myself that if he left THAT out of his description, then what might he "accidentally" leave out about other stuff?)

Have fun but be careful!!

[meg]

I have been stalked. Followed home from the grocery store, from a club, from shopping. I have had weird people approach me from out of nowhere. I prefer to meet people from the net. It gives me a chance to get to know them. I have never met someone without having frequent conversations for at least a 6 months to a year. So far, I have had wonderful times. No criminals, no stalkers ( from the net )

Always make sure you have as much information as possible. I have always had their home numbers, cell numbers, work numbers and most of the time a parent or siblings number.
I have even gone as far as to get a licences plate number incase I was to ride in their vehicle. I give this information to my mother, sister and my best friend. I always make sure a safe call is set up. This is someone that is available during the time I am with this person. Whether it be a day, weekend or week. Yes, I have spent as much as 10 days with a friend met on the net.

I have had online relationships that have gone real time. The last one lasted over a year, we seen each other nearly a week each month. I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

One thing to remember, reguardless of the amount of time you have spent with someone talking via computer/telephone, when you are face to face with that person, it's like meeting a stranger.
I remember the first time I met a guy from the net. I had to close my eyes during the conversation so I could relax and just hear his voice, so it would feel like the person I had been talking with.

Another problem I have seen happen. People fall in love online.
Ickkk... You need time one on one in the physical for this. You are just having a mental affair and living a fantasy until this point.
That is about all I have to say for now -- laughs Meg

[Marco]

Today people relationships are very difficult.
Men are crazy and women are very difficult.
Probably the best thing to do is keep staying by your own.,
not alone but by your own.
Trust as little as possible, never believe in anyting at very first.
Just thing that for every thing there is a reason. why it is said, told, or done.
All things should be analyzed accurately into details.
Probably all of this one day will be over.
For the time being this is a reality, and we should deal with it.
An alternative reply to all of this is being alone, which is not bad, giving you a great deal of security.
But being secure all the time is not always a good thing.
When you are always secure of everything you never wonder or ask yourself.
Your mind always have to be under a work condition.
And when you see that something is easy or to much easy this e will mean that there is something that is there that you don't see.

Roma Aug. 21 2002 12.15 P.M Local time in Italy
Marco