Fomorman
11-14-2001, 10:24 PM
Folks, I need some advice on a problem. This is a long one so be prepared...
I met a woman at a workplace seminar that I was helping to run. Susan was involved in a training class I ran recently (in a city that is at least 5 hours away) and she has caused me no end of internal conflict.
Initially I looked at her as a normal participant and noticed that she did not smile a great deal (I found out that this is her normal state and not reflective of her interest in the class). As the seminar progressed, I noticed that she was looking at me directly . As I was the leader, I thought it was due to the fact that I was at the front of the room giving a training session and thought nothing of it. As the class progressed (two and a half days), she became more involved, offering to recommend good places to eat in the city, etc... Again, I thought nothing of it. Other things kept occurring as well. I was singing in the hallway one of my favorite songs (A John Denver song, mind you) and she was behind me and commented "Ijust love that song". Long about the second day (since she knew one of the other trainers), she went to lunch with us (she, I and two other trainers, all female). She was chatty and talked about how she thinks that "current guy" she was dating is probably not going to work out. She asked about my life and my history with the company..all normal stuff, but the dating thing was a little odd in the context of the discussion. Anyway, we all chatted for awhile and it came up that I adore Irish pubs and she asked me "what my plans were for the evening" because there was a great pub that she knew about. I told her that I was scheduled to head out on the train that night (idiot me) and that I couldn't go. I was not sure if she was just recommending the place or if she was offering to take me. We got back to the class and she got up to teach (she was asked to add to the discussion with her particular experience) and she kept looking over at me (I was at a table parallel to her lecturn) when she was instructing. It got to the point where she was looking over so much that she said to the class "I am not sure why I keep looking over to you (me) for answers on things" When the class ended that day, I went to shake her hand goodbye and she said "I think you better give me a kiss". Rather shocked, I pecked her on the cheek and she said "come back again" and "make sure you let me know when you are in the city again". Since then, I have been in a lather as to what to do
We have exchanged emails a few times (I sent one the next day and she sent a reply back the next week..she said it was because her inbox was swamped because she was out of the office all week at the training session). It was the usual "great to meet you, enjoyed the training, let me know next time you are in the city..blah, blah, blah).
I finally had a good excuse to have her give me a call (business related) and we are going to chat on the phone tomorrow.
The question is: is she interested or just unusually friendly, since we were both trainers and had people we both knew there. I am fairly convinced that it is more, given the fact that she, by nature (according to those that know her), is not an afffectionate/overly emotional person. I don't want to act inappropriately, but I really like this woman and want to see her more.
If the group opinion is that I pursue, how exactly do I approach this since I would have to drive up to the city in question and there really is no compelling reason(other than her) to do so. I don't want to look desperate, but I really like this woman and want to see her more.
Opinions are welcome.
Fomorman
I met a woman at a workplace seminar that I was helping to run. Susan was involved in a training class I ran recently (in a city that is at least 5 hours away) and she has caused me no end of internal conflict.
Initially I looked at her as a normal participant and noticed that she did not smile a great deal (I found out that this is her normal state and not reflective of her interest in the class). As the seminar progressed, I noticed that she was looking at me directly . As I was the leader, I thought it was due to the fact that I was at the front of the room giving a training session and thought nothing of it. As the class progressed (two and a half days), she became more involved, offering to recommend good places to eat in the city, etc... Again, I thought nothing of it. Other things kept occurring as well. I was singing in the hallway one of my favorite songs (A John Denver song, mind you) and she was behind me and commented "Ijust love that song". Long about the second day (since she knew one of the other trainers), she went to lunch with us (she, I and two other trainers, all female). She was chatty and talked about how she thinks that "current guy" she was dating is probably not going to work out. She asked about my life and my history with the company..all normal stuff, but the dating thing was a little odd in the context of the discussion. Anyway, we all chatted for awhile and it came up that I adore Irish pubs and she asked me "what my plans were for the evening" because there was a great pub that she knew about. I told her that I was scheduled to head out on the train that night (idiot me) and that I couldn't go. I was not sure if she was just recommending the place or if she was offering to take me. We got back to the class and she got up to teach (she was asked to add to the discussion with her particular experience) and she kept looking over at me (I was at a table parallel to her lecturn) when she was instructing. It got to the point where she was looking over so much that she said to the class "I am not sure why I keep looking over to you (me) for answers on things" When the class ended that day, I went to shake her hand goodbye and she said "I think you better give me a kiss". Rather shocked, I pecked her on the cheek and she said "come back again" and "make sure you let me know when you are in the city again". Since then, I have been in a lather as to what to do
We have exchanged emails a few times (I sent one the next day and she sent a reply back the next week..she said it was because her inbox was swamped because she was out of the office all week at the training session). It was the usual "great to meet you, enjoyed the training, let me know next time you are in the city..blah, blah, blah).
I finally had a good excuse to have her give me a call (business related) and we are going to chat on the phone tomorrow.
The question is: is she interested or just unusually friendly, since we were both trainers and had people we both knew there. I am fairly convinced that it is more, given the fact that she, by nature (according to those that know her), is not an afffectionate/overly emotional person. I don't want to act inappropriately, but I really like this woman and want to see her more.
If the group opinion is that I pursue, how exactly do I approach this since I would have to drive up to the city in question and there really is no compelling reason(other than her) to do so. I don't want to look desperate, but I really like this woman and want to see her more.
Opinions are welcome.
Fomorman