We can't stay friends...what do I say?

[LuVsTruCK]

:confused: I'm a freshman in college and I've had been with my X since my Jr. year in H.S. We knew keeping our relationship would be tough with me away at college, but we decided to give it a shot. Well....it's 3 months later, and it didn't work out. We decided to stay friends until the summer when I come home again. I've been with other guys and he's been with other girls, but when I come home some weekends we're together. The problem is that I'm still in love with him and hearing and knowing about these other girls is hurting me so bad and I just feel depressed. I feel like the only way to feel any better and not like im gonna cry 24/7 is to cut off all contact till I'm completely over him. How can I make him understand that? I don't want him to think I hate him and I'm afraid not talking to him will just make me feel worse. I can't imagine having him as a part of my life for so long and as my best friend and just ending it. We've been handling it so well until this weekend when we saw eachother and talked about being with other people! I'm going crazy.....what should I do? What do I tell him?

[Kaisharga]

How about you tell him the way you told us? Unless he's 100% grade A bastard, he should be pretty understanding--he may be hurt at first, but in the end he'll realize it will have been for the best. Best of luck to you two sorting your mutual things out, and hoping you two can get back together (as friends) someday. Until then, do what you need to keep going on with your daily life.

--Kaisharga

[Pandora1980]

I agree with Kaisharga- tell him the truth and if he really cares about you- he'll understand.

I know it will be hard, especially since you're probably used to calling him when in need of a friend.

I think you're right though- cutting off all contact with him for a while will probably help you neutralize your feelings towards him.
At least that kinda worked with me and my ex. It was so much easier to listen to him talk about another girl when I hadn't e-mailed or seen or talked to him for about a month (I was away for the summer).
Then we ended up getting back together (when I came back) and breaking up again- having it right in my face w/o having that month apart to deal is sooo much harder.

So I think time apart will help the healing process, and then you can be friends again, just don't get back together romantically unless you REALLY feel it could work out- cuz then you gotta do it all over again.