Why does this always happen to me?

[Natalie1727]

I am sick of always having my relationship with guys I am attracted to end in me being hurt. Guys always want to "do" me but never want to be "with" me. It is so upsetting. I can't even get asked out on a date. I have NEVER asked out a single guy. It would be so nice to have someone ask for my number once, or have someone ask me for a drink/dinner. At 20 years of age, you would think I would have been asked out by now. All of my friends are guys, and they say I have this "unapproachable" air. What am I doing wrong? They all tell me I am pretty and smart, and that they used to like me, but figured they never had a chance because I have a "don't with me" air. (Excuse my language). Is it because I am feminist? I mean, why are guys so put off by political beliefs? Why does this always happen ? And when I like a guy, and I iniate it, it always ends up with me getting screwed over. I am tired of being hurt, but at the same time tired of being alone. It isn't that I want someone just so I won't be alone, but this cycle is making me worthless. What is wrong with me or men? Please help. :(

[LoveChild84]

If i wanted to go out with a girl, whos friends where all guys... I would be VERY careful about what i did. Are you sure your friends arent pushing any hopefuls away? Cuz it would put me off big time.

[Kaisharga]

*waves as he walks back into the room*

ahem. I'd say that the 'feminist' thing may have something to do with it--in some areas, heck, in a lot of areas, this has come to be synonymous with 'man-hater.' As for the 'unapproachable' thing, that's more in the way you carry yourself, the way you look around. You're likely keeping up your guard, ready to react at a moment's notice to any situation, and making sure that NOBODY f's with you. That kind of Bad@$$ attitude is a REAL BIG guy-repellent. You gotta be a little bit more open, soft, and cheerful, rather than sarcastic, pragmatic, and judgmental. Though I'm not sure if you are any of those, those three things are definitely things to stay away from if you want to 'attract' guys.

Which brings me to another point. You're 20. That's pretty young. We have people come in here at age 25 saying they've never been asked out. My own parents got married at 29. You've got a LOT of time ahead of you, don't rush it too much.

And back to the guy-attracting thing, there's one REALLY REALLY BIG tip that I can give you to look more attractive, and it's very simple.

Smile. :)

--Kaisharga :flippy:

[Angeleyes]

*We have people come in here at age 25 saying they've never been asked out. My own parents got married at 29. You've got a LOT of time ahead of you, don't rush it too much.*

Re above: So Kai what if you're 30 something - is it time to start worrying and just give-up altogether?
:(

[Kaisharga]

You couldn't give up if you wanted to, and you know that. And there is never a 'too late' boundary--people in their 60's fall in love. Age doesn't mean too much past a certain point, everyone gets hit sooner or later. It's just whether or not you act on your feelings that counts.

And until those feelings hit, there's no real reason to rush them. Too many relationships have failed due to one person not wanting their love, but wanting TO love. Above all, be true to yourself. And love yourself. And brush your teeth. And eat your broccoli. And don't bug your sister.

...where was I? I forget...

--Kaisharga :flippy: