Help with conversations

[Razgriz1]

I finally broke the ice with the girlie I like, but when ever we talk we dont have many things to talk about, and I want to keep our conversations going..advice please!

[Patsfan75BC]

I always have the same problem you have.. I have plenty of things to talk about. they are more sports, politics, and current events. but girls are too dumb to carry on a conversation in those areas......

[badboykilla]

I always have the same problem you have.. I have plenty of things to talk about. they are more sports, politics, and current events. but girls are too dumb to carry on a conversation in those areas......

LOL

Girls arent dumb. At your age they just dont find those subjects very interesting. You shouldn't talk to a girl for too long. Thats boring. Try to keep your conversations short. You should always be flirting and joking around. Like I said dont try to talk to much. Keep them wanting more. Leave conversations at the moment of climax. Sorry for rambling....

[Fireangel]

patsfan, I am so sorry but what you said is the most immature thing I've heard..How old are you? I'd like to say, you cannot stereotype women like that. I mean, some boys are geeks, some are players, some boys are introverted , others extroverted, some boys don't care about politics, some boys just think about partying and drinking and stuff like that...it's the same with women. Conversation is the way you can know more about her. Just try to forget that you seriousy like her phisically and try to see if she has an essence you like. If not, you'll know what to do..Try to find out about her tastes, what she likes to do, see if she has some things she likes that are compatible to those you like etc..It's meeting a new person , come on..you could have tons of thinks to talk about, you don't know her at all. You can ask her, what's your age? part from that..if she is in highschool you could say, what do you wish to study and why? if she is older, why did you choose to study this ..I don't know, just try to jknow her better...Then ask her opinion about politics, about religion , about whatever...

[Patsfan75BC]

patsfan, I am so sorry but what you said is the most immature thing I've heard..How old are you? I'd like to say, you cannot stereotype women like that. I mean, some boys are geeks, some are players, some boys are introverted , others extroverted, some boys don't care about politics, some boys just think about partying and drinking and stuff like that...it's the same with women. Conversation is the way you can know more about her. Just try to forget that you seriousy like her phisically and try to see if she has an essence you like. If not, you'll know what to do..Try to find out about her tastes, what she likes to do, see if she has some things she likes that are compatible to those you like etc..It's meeting a new person , come on..you could have tons of thinks to talk about, you don't know her at all. You can ask her, what's your age? part from that..if she is in highschool you could say, what do you wish to study and why? if she is older, why did you choose to study this ..I don't know, just try to jknow her better...Then ask her opinion about politics, about religion , about whatever...

umm......No. If i were to ask them, Id get some wierd look. the onyl thing girls know about is clothes, shoes, and makeup. They are stupid when it comes to any other area of disscussion. Its sad.The odds of finding a girl who would be able to intellegently disscuss the last superbowl or the previous election are 1 in a million. All girls care about s partying, shopping, and there appearance....

[HappyEndingNot]

Well I personally dedicated 50 hours of volunteering to that last election, and I watched the Super Bowl.

I love politics and current events. I like guys who like politics.

So maybe not every girl likes to discuss politics, but not every guy does either, so you can't say girls are dumb.

While I like to shop and whatnot, I would much rather discuss the First Amendment, Social Security, ect. than the latest ugg boots.

And look where it has gotten me.... no boyfriend ever.

The girs who only talk about partying and makeup and clothes are the ones who get the guys.

That's probably why many of the girls you have come into contact with are like that.

[Razgriz1]

can I please have some advice???!

[TheRev]

I get the impression that patsfan is just saying to get a reaction, best to ignore him. If he isn't, ignoring is still a good route, since telling stupid people why they're dumb is ultimately pointless and a waste of time.

Razgriz, I'm not exactly the best one for this kind of thing, but I can try. I'd say conversations could be divided into two types, the type that you start and the type that either they start or that comes about due to other stuff. What I mean is that it is always easier if the conversation has already been established. If not, you have to come up with some way of starting it. In school the best way is usually to talk about school. If you have a class with them, start with something relating to that class. If not, maybe a more general school related thing. If they have a cd or mp3 player, it's a perfect opportunity to ask about their music taste. Once the conversation has started you should start looking for common ground. Asking questions, try to get her to start talking about something that she enjoys talking about. That puts you in control. As she talks listen for hooks, things that you can respond to. The more you know about her the more you know about what you have in common with her, and the wider range of topics you can discuss. If she feels really passionately about something that you know nothing about, its a perfect opportunity for her to teach you. If you already know a lot about the topic, then the conversation part ought to handle itself.
If you can keep her talking and always have something to say when she's done, the conversation should last. It won't always, however, and you should be prepared for this. Remember, uncomfortable silences are only oncomfortable if you let them be. Take the opportunity to think. Either reflect on what you were talking about or come up with something completely new. Either way make it natural, not forced.
Here are a couple other ideas for topics. Ask yourself, what is unique about her? Does she have an accent? If so ask where she's from. If you know already, ask her about that place, she should be happy to talk about it. Is she wearing any unique clothing or accessories? Ask her about it. Every situation is different, but there's always something. The key is to not freeze up and forget all this. I've had that problem in the past, and the only way I know to remedy it is to come up with your topics ahead of time so that you don't have to think of them on the spot. The more you talk to her the less of a problem that should be.

Anyway I hope I was of some help.

[Patsfan75BC]

I get the impression that patsfan is just saying to get a reaction, best to ignore him. If he isn't, ignoring is still a good route, since telling stupid people why they're dumb is ultimately pointless and a waste of time.

Razgriz, I'm not exactly the best one for this kind of thing, but I can try. I'd say conversations could be divided into two types, the type that you start and the type that either they start or that comes about due to other stuff. What I mean is that it is always easier if the conversation has already been established. If not, you have to come up with some way of starting it. In school the best way is usually to talk about school. If you have a class with them, start with something relating to that class. If not, maybe a more general school related thing. If they have a cd or mp3 player, it's a perfect opportunity to ask about their music taste. Once the conversation has started you should start looking for common ground. Asking questions, try to get her to start talking about something that she enjoys talking about. That puts you in control. As she talks listen for hooks, things that you can respond to. The more you know about her the more you know about what you have in common with her, and the wider range of topics you can discuss. If she feels really passionately about something that you know nothing about, its a perfect opportunity for her to teach you. If you already know a lot about the topic, then the conversation part ought to handle itself.
If you can keep her talking and always have something to say when she's done, the conversation should last. It won't always, however, and you should be prepared for this. Remember, uncomfortable silences are only oncomfortable if you let them be. Take the opportunity to think. Either reflect on what you were talking about or come up with something completely new. Either way make it natural, not forced.
Here are a couple other ideas for topics. Ask yourself, what is unique about her? Does she have an accent? If so ask where she's from. If you know already, ask her about that place, she should be happy to talk about it. Is she wearing any unique clothing or accessories? Ask her about it. Every situation is different, but there's always something. The key is to not freeze up and forget all this. I've had that problem in the past, and the only way I know to remedy it is to come up with your topics ahead of time so that you don't have to think of them on the spot. The more you talk to her the less of a problem that should be.

Anyway I hope I was of some help.

Im being serious

[Razgriz1]

Damn, that was exactly what I've been looking for!
Anyway I'm gonna try to keep our conversations last longer tomorrow.... tell ya bout it tomorrow.

[mrrocko]

quite a few different things to respond to in here. Patsfan, your age is certainly something I'm curious about. If not your age, where you go to talk to girls. If you're in high-school or lower, here is what you do. Don't go for the girl that appears to be the stuck-up, fashion-model wannabe. Chances are, that will be reflected in her personality. If you're out of high school, I have to ask where it is you're looking for girls? Are you attempting to meet them in the middle of a club at 1 AM on a saturday morning? I mean, if that's the only place you're looking, don't be surprised if you only hear them talk about going to parties and drinking or whatnot. Hell, if all you're looking for is someone to hold an intelligent conversation with, go to a library and find the girl that isn't looking at the fashion magazines. Saying that only one in a million girls know anything about politics or sports etc. is perhaps the stupidest thing I've ever heard. That attitude is more than likely part of the reason you aren't dating anyone at the moment.

As for the original question, TheRev gave you perhaps the most helpful answer you'll get. However, I'll say from experience that when going into a conversation already having "planned out" what you're going to say, it really prevents you from getting into a flow with the conversation. I'd advise just thinking of someway to start the conversation from which TheRev has given you plenty of options, and going with that.

[badboykilla]

Im sorry to say that I disagree with the advie you guys are providing him. Personally I dont like to engage in long conversations with someone I hardly know. Plus I dont like to seem like I am interrogating them. If anything follow the advice rev gave you. Try to avoid asking question after question. Try to pick up on little things she says, things that may interest HER. And listen. You should do alot less of the talking than her, if she isnt opening up she may not be comfortable or isnt interested.

[Patsfan75BC]

Im 16 years old

[TheRev]

hehe you listed your chosen items of conversation as 'sports, politics, and current events.' You don't exactly sound very interesting. Too dumb to talk about sports? Maybe they're smart enough to realize that spectator sports are completely pointless. I don't mind people watching them, but don't pretend being into sports makes you better than those of us who find them boring. Politics? Teenagers in general tend to either not care about politics or be too into them. Either way they aren't really fun to talk about, since dicussions tend to involve a lot of negative energy. Current events. Now that's a broad category. I'm not going to approach it because I'm not completely sure what you mean.

Sounds to me like you are the one who is having trouble conversing, not the girls. They are too dumb to have conversations with you? How about you get out of your boring negative mindset and try playing on their homefield for once. Frankly if you don't have anything in common with a girl, you don't stand to benefit from talking to her in the first place. I'd finish off this post but I've gotten bored of explaining crap to you. I'm not even that much older than you, I have no idea how you could make it this far with such a negative mindset.

[mrrocko]

I'm not much older than you myself but come on...be sensible. First off, and this coming from someone who loves sports, that's what GUYS are for. Why do you approach a girl and have your choice of topic be sports? That doesn't make much sense to me. Surely you have more interests than that... Politics is an absolute No. One of the most common bits of advice people offer is to never talk about politics on a first date, let alone when first getting to know someone. You have absolutely nothing to gain from that and TheRev spoke the truth about being either WAY to involved or not giving a damn. Current Events is what gets me though, what type of current events are you referring to? The war, the super bowl or what? Most current events quite honestly fall on the political or sports scale unless you want to talk with her about the most recent murder case in the city. Broaden your horizons, it can't hurt you.

[Patsfan75BC]

hehe you listed your chosen items of conversation as 'sports, politics, and current events.' You don't exactly sound very interesting. Too dumb to talk about sports? Maybe they're smart enough to realize that spectator sports are completely pointless. I don't mind people watching them, but don't pretend being into sports makes you better than those of us who find them boring. Politics? Teenagers in general tend to either not care about politics or be too into them. Either way they aren't really fun to talk about, since dicussions tend to involve a lot of negative energy. Current events. Now that's a broad category. I'm not going to approach it because I'm not completely sure what you mean.

Sounds to me like you are the one who is having trouble conversing, not the girls. They are too dumb to have conversations with you? How about you get out of your boring negative mindset and try playing on their homefield for once. Frankly if you don't have anything in common with a girl, you don't stand to benefit from talking to her in the first place. I'd finish off this post but I've gotten bored of explaining crap to you. I'm not even that much older than you, I have no idea how you could make it this far with such a negative mindset.

<sarcasm>OK THEN! HOW BOUT WE TALK ABOUT PARTYING AND GETTING DRUNK AND CLOTHES AND WHAT MAKEUP TO WHERE TOMMOROW AND WHOS F*CKING WHO!!! REAL INTERESTING!!!!!<sarcasm>

[TheRev]

Grow up. And learn to spell if you expect to be taken seriously. I don't even know why I tried, I'm starting to think you're just messing with us again. No way anyone could be so dense.

[mrrocko]

Think about this Patsfan. Did you ever take a look in the mirror and realize that you may be looking at the problem? I'm not referring to looks, I'm talking about the incredibly immature, childish and downright negative attitude you have. That is not going to be attractive to ANYONE. If you honestly have the attitude you're portraying, you're beyond any help that someone here can offer you. It's time to see a psychiatrist. :wacko: :drinky: :drinky: :drinky:

[Razgriz1]

:idea: can we have a pause to patsfan?

[dreamingxofxyou]

Personally saying, that is really stereotypical. I'm a girl and I hate talking about clothes. and what kind of teenager talks about politics?

Now to the real advice. Sometimes it's easier to carry on a conversation when you establish a random personality when the person. I'm a random person and it really helps keep a conversation going. Like when it comes to an awkward pause just say "Do you like coke or pepsi better?" and stuff like that.