This is so confusing...I need outside help!

[itiswhatitis]

There is this girl at my work that I really like. We work in a restaurant and this gives us a lot of time to talk. She really seems to enjoy talking to me and she always gives me this big smile when I look at her (except when we are busy, too much effort). She goes to a really small private school that demands a lot of time and her grades are unbelievable. As a sophomore she is taking the same classes i am taking as a senior--and i'm pretty smart myself (I would like to say). But the confusion began about weeks ago when I tried to ask her out.

It was saturday night and we both worked late, I had decided I was going to ask her out a few days prior and I did. I said, "so, do you want to get together and do something sometime?". She responded by saying that it sounded great and gave me her cell phone number and told me to call her the next day.

Needless to say I was really excited! This was the first girl ever that I felt comfortable enough around to ask out.

I called her the next day and we began to make plans but she then said, "i have a question, is this like a date or just going out as friends?" She was apparently confused by my question the night before... I responded by saying I wanted it to be a date. She then told me that she had a boyfriend, but she still wanted to do something as friends anyways if that was fine by me. Heartbroken, I said, "OK, that's fine," and we were going to go have dinner the following night.

But then she called again about three hours later.

She said her parents didn't want her to go out, that it was kind of weird to them. She said that's how they are sometimes, and maybe we could do something the following week.

Keep reading...this gets more confusing.

I called her the next night, monday, saying i was sorry if i offended her by wanting to go on a date (she said not at all) and that I still wanted to be good friends and everything and I just wanted to smooth out any akwardness. That went well enough.

We both worked on Thursday and we talked a lot, she was really into everything I said and I even offered to host for her (I only serve, usually) because she wanted to go skiing with some friends and couldn't find anyone else to do so.

But after she left, my manager (Danish woman in her 50's) commented on how we were acting. I said I would go out with her if she didn't have a boyfriend and then my manager said "she doesn't." I was like...WHAT!?...and my manager said she had talked about any boyfriends with her that night and she told her that she didn't have one. She also said that her sister, who is also good looking, never had one either really.

So, what am I to think. I get this feeling from her that she does really like me but why would she lie and say she has a boyfriend? Does it seem possible her parents may forbid that sort of thing? How should I go about letting her know that I know she doesn't have a boyfriend? WHAT CAN I DO?

[Smitty]

Im pretty sure thats a parental issue..Notice when she called you she said "My parents said so so".
I don't believe if you would of said...yeah lets go out as "friends" would of made any difference. Her parents just seem to think you are a guy and well that means "date". Therefore I'm guessing she had to lie for the benefit of her parents. Of course I could be wrong..

[cheeryxlips18]

I don't know about the parents, its possible, but I've used my own as an excuse to turn down a guy. I read your post and I think I can relate to this girl, if she is how I think she is. I will flirt like mad with a guy, especially if I like him, but if he asks for a date, I'll turn him down. I'm just not comfortable dating yet, and won't be for awhile. She sounds young, and if she hasn't had a boyfriend before than she probably is a little unsure if she does want one or not. From here on you should let her make the moves, if she does really like you and does want to date, then she'll let you know. Just go about your work as you always have.

Hope I helped

[Miss Direction]

More insecure attention whoring women....

Again....now why is it we have so many men out there that are fed up with women or just don't care anymore?

Who do we blame for this?

Gotta love it!

[cheeryxlips18]

Excuse me, but I am not an insecure attention whore. I'm just not comfortable dating yet, and you can blame you own self for not getting women if you're gonna go off and call them little names just for not going out with you, okay?

[Miss Direction]

Uhhhhh.....

>>>>>I will flirt like mad with a guy, especially if I like him, but if he asks for a date, I'll turn him down.

That's called "bad karma" and using guys to stroke your ego.

In other words, games and playing with guy's hearts.

Hello?!

[cheeryxlips18]

I do NOT use guys to stroke my ego, I don't need that. I am confident and sure of myself, I don't NEED MEN for any thing like that.

And flirting honey, is games, and playing, it's all fun. If you get wraped up in a girl, that's YOUR OWN problem, if she doesn't like you, IT IS NOT HER FAULT. You just aren't exactly what she wants, get the over it and quit being such a whiney little brat.

[itiswhatitis]

Ok, the first two posts i read after my message were extremely helpful and I would like to thank you guys. But, cheery, if thinking of your theory, why would she say yes when i asked her if she wanted to do something? :goof:

[Miss Direction]

>>>>>And flirting honey, is games, and playing, it's all fun. If you get wraped up in a girl, that's YOUR OWN problem, if she doesn't like you, IT IS NOT HER FAULT. You just aren't exactly what she wants, get the over it and quit being such a whiney little brat.

Again...we have the nieve attention whore that doesn't know what life is yet.

Let me guess, you probably are good looking (and know it) and "believe" that you are entitled to certain things. Always trying to push to see what you can get. Any woman that denies that is lying through her teeth.

If you aren't ready to date, then maybe you shouldn't be so over-bearing to seek attention from men....should you?

Believe me....you are talking out of your ass.

"Flirting" means many different things to many different people moron. Usually, people flirt with people their interested in....right? How about fellowship and trust. You wouldn't like it too much if somebody "betrayed" your trust, would you?

Here's a newsflash! Men flirt with women that they find attractive and would like to get to know better (for the most part).

Men don't like it when women toy with their emotions and such. So sorry to disapoint, but the world does not evolve around you and your drama.

Besides, most women that flirt recklessly on an abnormal behavior (aside from their SO) have personal issues. They don't like the way they look, think their too fat, have low self-esteem.

You are really making me laugh teenie-bopper.

I'm so sorry to disapoint you, but not every guy is going to hold you in this "given" rapport that you think your crap doesn't stink just because you have a vagina.

You have so much to learn my little 18 year-old.


>>>>>>If you get wraped up in a girl, that's YOUR OWN problem, if she doesn't like you, IT IS NOT HER FAULT. You just aren't exactly what she wants, get the over it and quit being such a whiney little brat.

Female arrogance if I've ever seen it.
So what you're saying is men aren't suppose to have feelings and women rule the world....right?
That....and since women don't "think" and what they "want" (or "say" they want) changes like waves on the ocean's shore, I'm doing nothing but laughing at you.

Quit seeking attention when your dumbass doesn't know what to do with it.

But then again....it's NEVER her fault, right?

LMAO!

You need an attitude adjustment and a crash course in Men/Women 101.

You are the farthest from understanding men, you make men that are wussies look like champs.

[Miss Direction]

Cheery thinks she can give advice, and when somebody that knows what their talking about comes along and disagrees....she does her best to say it is.

How can somebody expect to give good dating advice when they aren't even ready to at such an age themselves?

I wouldn't want a blind man driving me around town...would you?


>>>>>if thinking of your theory, why would she say yes when i asked her if she wanted to do something?

She might say yes, but only to have you around.

She likes to know she has men that will be there to comfort her, even if she doesn't want anything to do with them romantically.

ALL women are suckers for attention. Make them earn it, don't just "give it".

[mrrocko]

"And flirting honey, is games, and playing, it's all fun. If you get wraped up in a girl, that's YOUR OWN problem, if she doesn't like you, IT IS NOT HER FAULT. "

I hate to give you a reality check but generally, a guy won't flirt with you unless he is interested in you in some way. He may talk to you, may even befriend you but if he starts responding to your flirting, he is probably interested in you. You are most certainly leading him on when you do that. I won't go into attention-whore or any of MD's fancy terms but what you are doing is without a doubt leading guys on in a manner that you certainly wouldn't enjoy if the roles were reversed.

[cheeryxlips18]

You do not know who you are talking to. You have no idea of my history, and trust me, cause I KNOW I know more than you about my own self, and that is I've been with guys, a wide difference in each, and I know how they act. I've been through the dating, I've had plenty of sex, and I just don't want to deal with it right now.

You say I'm too young to know about the dating thing? Well, ya know, I probably have a few new things to learn, but THATS WHY I'M WAITING, LIKE I SAID BEFORE. And when I do, it won't be for money or a nice car or their looks, it will be because they man is nice, mature (unlike you), and knows that I'm not seeking out their fortune.

You act like you know so much about women, YOU ARENT A ING WOMAN! You don't know yourself! And you, Mr. Sexist , need to check yourself and see how insane you are acting. You seriously sound like a former stalker I had, a psycho, a freak who should've been in a damn psych ward for the crazy delusions he had about females.

STOP sterotyping, and stop accusing girls of everything, look at yourself, okay? I'm not saying you're the one to blame, but you sure are putting a lot of a females shoulders for things most have not done. GROW THE UP.

A few more words from my friend: "I dated a guy for four months, had no problem with the sex life, wasn't the best looking thing (she likes that), covered in tattoos and piercings. He drugged me, the only thing I ever did was smoke a lot of his weed with him. Did I deserve that? He drugged me with acid after I specifically told him I wasn't ready for it. So does that make ME a bloodsucking whore? How can you say that every single girl is? We have been used, that's how life is, we've been through more than you can imagine. I have been through anything a person could imagine for a male or female life. I raised my brother because our mother is a tweaking whore. He turned out fine. (he did, I dated him) He doesn't think every girl is a bitch, and he actually respects him. And a bunch of girls like him. And if any juggalo heard the youre saying they're kick your ass, because those are the scrubby people who do get shunned by pretty girls. So you and all your bull ." - Natasha Manaberg (The Psycho)

Stop being a baby and blaming the girls. That's all I have to say.

PS "Anyone who cannot account for their actions and take their responsibilities is a ing ass hole and should be shot in the face." - NM

OH YEAH! And she said yes probably because she thought you were going out as friends. And I'm NOT saying this to get on your good side, I don't even ing know you and I could care less about what you think of me.

[Miss Direction]

Note to all men:
STAY AWAY from psycho sluts, especially ones so young. They don't know men and think they know it all.

These types of "girls" like to twist everything around in their minds to make it the guy's fault by making him feel guilty, etc.

The fact of the matter is, to most men all these women are are sextoys. Reality still hasn't hit them unfortuantely yet however.

When you have to twist things to roll in your favor, it shows your inability to adapt the fact of your insecurities and downfalls.

Get ready for her next reply tomorrow or "what she wants" next week, for it's bound to change from current. Women don't know what they want, that's a given....they go after what they are attracted to.

Oh...and I'm sure she'll try and bring more drama too.

She's just upset because she didn't get what she wanted.

Isn't it funny how 99.9% of the time when you run across a woman that complains about how she's just "used for sex" or "hates games", it's not that she hates those things, just that she ran across a man that could do that and so much more than her.

People who complain the most do so only because they've been on the most in that area.

Rememeber....nobody cares about the last place guy, only the first place. Proof that I have cheeky in heat shows who the winner is in this debate.

The thread agrees with me, while you're still whisling in the dark cheery.

Take note.

[cheeryxlips18]

These types of "girls" like to twist everything around in their minds to make it the guy's fault by making him feel guilty, etc.

Where the did I blame any guy? I said TAKE YOUR OWN FING RESPONSIBILITY!!! Jesus, you YOURSELF are twisting everything. And HONESTLY, I am NOT saying this as an insult or anything, but you sound like someone who's delusional, please get help.

Again, my friend would like to comment: "Hi, I am a psycho, and I would love to disembowl your Fing ass. And the reason you're pissed off at every girl is because you're not liked by girls. So you're sensitive! Girls don't cuddle with you enough! Any guy who wants to overly cuddle with me is ING GAY, I want a MAN. Stop relying on girls to make YOU feel good. That's pathetic, no girl wants that. And I'm sure there's some big, burly guys that would love to cuddle and rape you up your ass." - Natasha Manaberg (The Psycho)

Personally, I like cuddling. But not with freaky s like you. This is PROOF RIGHT HERE that girls are different. So quit bitching and grow up already.

[Miss Direction]

">>>>>Hi, I am a psycho,

Yes, you are.
Psycho people usually hang together.


>>>>and I would love to disembowl your Fing ass.

Yeah...and you love it!


>>>>And the reason you're pissed off at every girl is because you're not liked by girls.

No...
Can't you come up with something different other than me being bitter towards women?

Oh, wait....just because something isn't seen in a good light about women, that's the only thing the "non-logical" "kids" can come up with.

Man...I hate being smarter than you two.

Oh...and I'm dating somebody. So there! :p


>>>>>So you're sensitive! Girls don't cuddle with you enough!

I don't need a woman to make me happy, but it's clear you "need a man" on your end.

Neediness and overwhelming insecurity reaks from your postings. Take a hint.


>>>>>Any guy who wants to overly cuddle with me is ING GAY, I want a MAN.

And I got a woman, that's what I got too!

Sorry you "girls" didn't make the cut.


>>>>>Stop relying on girls to make YOU feel good. That's pathetic, no girl wants that. And I'm sure there's some big, burly guys that would love to cuddle and rape you up your ass." - Natasha Manaberg (The Psycho)

Such childish words.

That....and you're posting your FRIEND'S words?!

Come on...

What's the matter?

Not Queen of the Playground?

LOL!