help --mind games

[cassie]

Hi again,

My ex-boyfriend keeps asking me what i am doing for the holidays. he knows that i am far away from home this year and will have to spend xmas alone. if we were together still i would most likely spend it at his house. he tells me that he is worried about me and that he hopes i'll find somewhere to go for the holidays but he doesnt invite me to stay with him. it would be closer and cheaper for me to go to his house than it would for me to go home. why does he play these mind games with me? he also just sent me a cd that we both really like.

Cassie

[BandGuy76]

By the sounds of it, you and he are in college or close to that age. Here are some possible reasons for his behavior.

Booty Call: He wants some lovin. He knows your going to be lonely and alone during the holidays and therefore, vunerable.

Thoughtful Consideration: He might just be a nice guy that is actualy concerned that you are going to be lonely. He may not want a relationship again, but is concerned for your welfare but doesn't want to look too forward about it.

He wants to get back with you: He misses the relationship with you, but is unsure how to approch you about getting back together. Therefore, his actions seem confusing you to.

To find out which of these three he is, I would advice being as blunt as hell as with. Ask him strait out what his intentions are with you. Be prepared for an answer you don't like (cause you know you're going to go in with a preconcived notion of what you want to happen). Also be prepared to simply accept what he has to say. It's all about communication.

[MidnightBreeze]

He has made the first move but asking (and repeatedly you say) and by being worried (and letting you know) about you. It's your turn... ask about what all he has planned. If he doesn't have anything. Then BE SURE to point out that the two of you aren't doing anything for the holidays. He still needs to be the one to invite you. Just be sure with subtlety that you want to be with him for xmas.

[cassie]

Thank you both for all your help

Cassie