help!!! confused????

[mintqt]

PLEASE help me my boyfriend has just split up with me after just 1 month yet i feel so hurt, as i had fallen for him BIg time, i met him at work which also makes it worse he told me things like he wanted to go on holiday next year, and that mayb next year he cud mayb move into mine wit me, he said i wer da best thing to happen to him well after all this he now says i dont want a gf right now, says he has so much going on in his life that he just wants us to be friends. So ive taken it as he's lied to me about everything i feel so hurt worthless and used i care for him loads and i thought he did me, i thought we had the start of summit special. I know he has pressures theres things going on that i dnt know about with his 2 yr old lil boy, i never liked to ask because i felt it wasnt my place or my bussiness, but what i dnt understand is if he felt so strongly about me like he said he did then why now say this to me???? wudnt we try and work things out together whatever was bothering him i mean isnt that what a relationship is all about??, i really believed all he said to me and i feel right gutted and humiliated i really wanted things to go somewhere, we both have one child of the same age and got on really well we seemd to understand alot of things mayb this was due to both having a young child, we both knew what we wanted or so i believed we did, he said he had big plans for us and that he didnt want anything to ruin it so why now he say this??? im sooooo desperate i havnt had the best of luck with men, mayb its me but i just dnt understand i want answers but at the same time i dnt want to pressure him with more than he already has to deal with, what should i do??? just leave him to it and be miserable??, how should i act at work???? i feel so embarrest, i love him dnt wanna make a scene at work how can i avoid getting upset in front of people???? i dnt wana loose him but seems i already have, did he just use me?? what do u think??? please guys give me ur veiws as well as gals id like some answers as to why a guy acts this way? is he scared???? it was all going so well i miss him PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! :bawling: :confused:

[cassie]

Hi M,

I am sorry that you are going through this. Relationships can be very difficult and often they will leave you much lower than where you began. From what you have related to me, I understand that your boyfriend doesn't seem ready for a serious committment and for this reason it is best that you move on. As well, it sounds like you have grown dependent on him for your happiness; this is a very human thing to do, but often guys do not like it if girls come across as needy.

The healthiest thing for you to do right now would be to move forward with your life. The man who you were dating seems to hold much back from you; as well, his actions do not match his words and this is shows a lack of integrity. At times like this you may benefit from reading some buddhist philosophies. Among other things, buddhism endorses the view that to be happy you must rely on no one but yourself. A very hard thing to do...but believe me, it works.

hope this helps a bit,
Cassie

[mintqt]

im just gona give up i aint botherd him at all i think thats the best way i mean ive been played its obvious so wats da point life goes on :confused:

[mintqt]

anyone else gona tell me what they think, ive been avoiding him ui havnt called or texted although its so hard, cnt stop thinking bout him, but at same time i knowi have to foget, however i wanna know from anyone what they think his game was, i mean can a bloke have so many problems and wanna be with a girl but just cant because they cant handle it????? please help me peeps :wall:

[mintqt]

help really missin david :bawling: :bawling: :bawling: :confused: :confused:

[MidnightBreeze]

Sorry to hear of you ordeal. Usually when a guy breaks up with the line, "I don't want a girl right now", or something like that, then he has usually found another interest. This DOESN'T mean that you're not a great, goodlooking, interesting person, it's just that every guy has preferencs. It will always take time to get over someone, but I will tell you what speeds up the process so greatly. YOU have to find ANOTHER interest. Try going to the bar sometime or if that's not your style, then try thinking up somewhere you could find men that have interest that you like. As far as not having luck with men.. do what I did.. teach yourself how to help yourself. Look up sites that help you understand men, and what to say, do around guys. Don't think that this is reserved for those who aren't good with the opposite sex, it just helps the 98% of people who ARE NOT the perfect type to be around the opposite sex. There's always one person who just knows how to be with the others. Everyone else needs to have some help with knowing what to do with others. Back to the part about how to get over him. My last ex, she broke up with me. I felt so bad. I felt like I just wasn't good enough. That went on for about a year. Then I found Rachel, my current interest. Now I don't feel anything for my ex, Megan. I'm still corteous though. I try to be a gentlman. It took so long because I couldn't get a girl for so long cause I didn't know the right ways to attract and intrigue women. So you need to inform yourself and get your women friends together to a have a ladies night out. Get a sitter for your child. Hope everything works out for you.

[mintqt]

yeah but how u know he seeing someone else i feel even worse now like, i gotta go into work tommora, itext him sayin if he wanted friends like he did b4 then thats fine its better than loosing him altogether, been waiting but still no reply, i rang just ONCE and no answer just constant ring then voicemail, wats going on thought he wanted to b mates if nothin but am getting no responce frm him wat-so-ever so really means he never really gave a dam bout me to begin wit eh??? i got work tommora and as ya know he works same place as me i feel right stupid and i jus dunno how am gonna act im just soooo upset why does this keep happening to me like i hate it jus wen i meet someone i feel i can get close to they run. . . . . .. . . . . i take the hint like . . .its me. .. its gotta be :wall: :bawling: :confused: :( :drinky: :bawling: :bawling: :bawling: :bawling:

[mintqt]

hey just thought id say whats been happening well i was at work and my ex just walked passed me and that wer it he never said a word and he was with another gal that works there and as i went past she said 'yeah that sounds great for friday night, looking farward to it' i dunno if that wer done for my benifit or not. well it seems hes jus a player and mayb jus working himself round work i aint gona bother feeling down over him i gotta concentrate on my college work my job and my lil boy i need to keep possitive. the way i see it now is its his loss coz i may not be the prettiest thing in the world but i did really really like him and for starters i aint a plain jane like the gal he wer with looked like im way better than that. Ive deleted his number and so wont contact him again, if he contacts me im not even gonna waste my time in answering coz the way i see it is no guy is worth your tears and wen ya find one that is he will never make u cry then ya know its for sure and that is what is ment to be. Life can be cruel but the way i look at it now with help frm friends and family is that things are put in the way and although it feels astho it is jus me suffering so many go through the same, i think i have now found it within myself to forget and look to the future, am excited about becoming a midwife and im not gonna let myself fail my course because of some guy who isnt worth bothering over. I hope if anyone has been through the same thing and reads this that it helps them and if anyone would like a chat then im here just send me a message and ill get back to you, keep happy everyone lifes too short to be down in the dumps enjoy life and live it to the full, take care all xxxxx :rainbow: :kiss2: :wavey: :lips: ;) :agree: :drinky: :heart: