And this too shall pass..

[Traciena]

Who knows how long I will visit your message board, who knows how many posts I will reply to or even post. This much I do know, I am here because I am looking to find a new perspective on what seems to be a dull and life less existance. in a world of Daddy, Mommy and three children (twins.. and are two years old and a nine year old angel) Life is of course eventful when it comes to the every day drama. When does it get fun again? I am full of passion, desire and now it seems it has been put on hold. What I need from you, men and women alike is a little boost in the areas that I think we have forgotten. Needing romance and lots of it.. for fear I will forget it by the time th kids are grown and gone. Toss a few ideas my way, maybe its something that the OLD (grin) man and I have not yet come across? What ever you can think of I would sure love to hear. And by the way.. the name is Traciena.. in life and in the world of the WEB.

[Soullus]

"Assumptions" we all are guilty of it one way or another..
the key is to stopped ourselves from self abuse and self dispare...
We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything..
the problem with assumptions is we believe they are the truth.
We could swear that they are real.

We make assumptions about what others are thinking or doing.
We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally,
and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.

All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted
in making assumptions and taking things personally. Take a moment
to consider the truth of this statement. The whole world of control
between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally.

In the human mind creates alot of chaos which causes us to
misinterpret everything and misunderstand everything.
We only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear.
We have the habit of dreaming with no basis in reality.
And then sometimes we do, but throw it all out of proportion..
by making an assumption.

We are literally dreaming things up in our imaginations.
Becuase we don't understand something, we make an assumption
about the meaning, and when the truth comes out, the bubble of
our dream POPS and we find out is was not what we thought it was
at all.

An example.. from personal experience here..

In any kind of relationship we can make the assmption that others
know what we think, and we don't have to say what we want.
They are going to do what we want because they know us so well.
If they don't do or say what we want them to say, what we feel
that they should say or do, we feel hurt and think,
"How could you do that? You should know" Again we make the assumption
that the other person knows what we want. A whole drama is created
because we make this assuption and the put more assumptions on top
of it.

Its very interesting how the human mind works. We feel the need to
justify everything.. In your case.. something is in need of
justification.. but in others its in order to feel safe.

We have millions of questions that need answers because there
are so many things that the reasoning mind cannot explain.
For us, it is not always important to have the correct answer,
but just to have an answer itself makes us feel safe. This is why
we make assumptions.

If others tell us something, we make assumptions, and if they don't
tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know
and to replace the need to COMMUNICATE. and I stress communicate.
Even if we hear something we don't understand, we make assumptions
about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all
sorts of assumptions because we don't have the courage to ask questions.

These assumptions are made so fast that and unconsciously most of the
time because we have agreements to communicate this way. We have
agreed that it is not safe to ask questions; we have agreed that
if people love us, they should know what we want or know how we feel.
I could go on forever maybe even gone to far I felt compelled to
share this with you.. Please feel free to comment about what I have
shared with you and everyone else that has read this message..(Novel)
lol

Think about these Four Agreements and comment I encourage it please...

#1 Be Impeccable With Your Word--- Speak with integrity, Say only what you
mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others.
Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

#2 Don't Take Anything Personally--- Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, thier own dream.
When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won't be the victim of
needless suffering.

#3 Don't Make Assumptions--- Find the courage to ask questions and to express
what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid
misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.

And #4 Always Do Your Best--- Your
best will change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are
healthy as supposed to sick. Under any circumstances, simply do your best,
and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse,and regret.


If you like I can elaborate more on them.. they are helping me now in my time of lonliness... I feel hopeless like there is not any girl out there for me.. I have thought of serveral things to do, but I think that they we all reached with making "assumptions" So please comment...

[Kaisharga]

I have a whole list of things like this, but the biggest one that I remember is, "Don't wait for a special occasion to use the wine--make the wine the special occasion." I think this attitude can solve a lot of your problem--don't wait for things to get fun again, make them fun again. Get a babysitter and go out with your man and do something you would have done when you were dating. Do something that you've always thought was fun. Go to a roller skating rink. Play poker with friends. I dunno, just do whatever it is that you do to have fun that you don't get a chance to do otherwise.

--Kaisharga