flower power

[Kiyoshi]

a big "Hi" from Portugal! :)

so, here's what happened: I usually have all classes in the same room, so usually I leave my stuff in the room, go outside for a while and come back... One of those days, I left my things in the room, went outside and when I came back, I had a flower, a purple flower, on my notebook... a real flower. I looked at the flower, looked around and... sat down, as if nothing happened. I should say that there were over 100 people in the classroom and more than half were girls... Anyway... the next days, I tried to look for some "unusual" behaviour in any of the people who I talk with, but nothing... Then I noticed a girl... a really nice girl... sometimes she looks at me (I'm not sure about that as there are dozens of people inside the classroom...) but I'm sure we've looked at each other two or three times... she has a beautiful smile,by the way... :) But that only happens in the class, we only have that class together, so it's hard to see her outside classes... Concluding, her behaviour makes me think she was the one who left the flower there... Wouldn't you think the same? The problem is that I don't even know her name, we've never spoke to each other... and I don't want to make a fool of me by asking "hi, did you leave a flower on my notebook a few weeks ago?"... What should I do? As I said, I'm not sure that this girl is the one who left the flower... :/ A friend gave me the idea of talking about with someone about the flower thing when she's around... but I'm not sure if that's such a good idea... Should I wait for something more? I must say I'm the shy kind of guy, I'm not very good at starting conversations... Please, help me...

(sorry for the eventual mistakes in the english or bad expression :P)

[dejaviv]

I'm a girl, in here, telling you: Don't pretend to talk about it when she is around!

Girls dislike that, seriously. Why? Because you guys often unconsciously or accidentally make the causal conversation sound like a joking chit-chat session that seems to be teasing or insulting the effort the "person" spent for you.

A 2 cent worth suggestion from me is, do something with the flower, such as hang it dry then keep it as a bookmark, or simply flatten it then liminate it and bring it along with you as a bookmark, notebook cover or just a keychain. If the flower is really given by the girl, you do expect more attention from her. Or else, such acts may just give her the courage to do more "things" for you or approach you directly, that enable you to confirm that she is "The One".

Good Luck Guy!

[RosaMystica7]

I agree with what dejaviv said... though the casual conversation could still work, as long as you keep in mind what she said and make sure that it can't be taken the wrong way. Something like... "wow, I wonder who left me that flower, I'd like to meet them..." or whatever. And I love the idea of drying the flower and putting it on your notebook cover or something. That'll make her realize that you appreciated it, and might give her a boost of confidence to come forward and say something about it.

[Kiyoshi]

well, thanks for your ideas... I never thought about that! :) but... there's a problem.... when I got to my desk and saw the flower, I looked at it, looked around and left the flower there... even after the class... There's a reason for this, of course. I thought the flower was put there by a girl who I was upset with... so I didn't mind about the flower and left it there in the end of the class. Only after asking that girl four times if she had put the flower there (and of course, she said no), I thought "maybe it really wasn't her..." I forgot to mention this in my first post, sorry... After that, I also thought that maybe whoever left the flower there, saw what I did and didn't like... maybe that's why I never got any "clue" from the "mystery girl"... Well, I guess all I can do is wait, right? :/

[RosaMystica7]

Ohhh man, yeah I'd be pretty disappointed if I left a flower on a guy's desk and he left it there... especially if I were too shy to say anything as it was. Hmm. Then I'd have to agree with having a conversation about the flower in front of the girl...

But I have to say it'd work a lot better if you just asked her. Yeah you might feel weird going up to her and asking if she left a flower on your desk the other day, but it might work in your favor. After she responds to the question you can say something like... "Oh, okay... someone left a flower on my desk the other day. I left it there thinking it was from somebody it wasn't, so now I'm wishing I had kept it and am trying to figure out who it was. I thought it might have been you." That will accomplish a few things. If she was upset when you left the flower there, she'll understand why you did it and not be upset anymore. She'll be flattered. It'll spark conversation between you two so you have something to talk about. Etc.

Besides, the convo in front of her might not work... she might get distracted, be polite and not listen, etc. etc. Talk to her!

[Kiyoshi]

that's a great idea, RosaMystica7... but what IF it's not her? don't you think it's too "straight to the point" to ask her if she left a flower in my notebook? Like, I have never even spoke to her... not a "hi", nothing... and I don't want to make a fool of myself... I know I could take the risc and I could win with that... but I think I'm focusing on one girl... and there were dozens in the classroom.. :/

[RosaMystica7]

Have any of the dozens in the classroom acted in any way to make you think it could be one of them? I didn't realize that you never talked to her before, you definately have to break the ice, say hi and introduce yourself, before anything... but after a couple of conversations, asking her about it would be the best I think.

[Kiyoshi]

that's the strange thing... I'd surely notice if any of the girls in my class started to act different..and I didn't notice anything. I can't say the same about the other girls (since there are different people from different years in the same class...)... But even if it was someone from another year, I'd notice something... That's why I thought it was the girl I talked about... you're right, I should say something to break the ice... Like, starting with a smile, then a "hi"... if she's the one, she'll respond, right? :)

[RosaMystica7]

Yeah, that sounds good, just start with a light conversation... hi... introducing yourself... the basics... and see how she responds to it. Keep the flower question in the back of your mind for a future conversation, though. ;)

[dejaviv]

Go ahead and ask her if you are desperate for an answer! After all, you are a guy. If a shy her who has not even spoken to you before dare to leave you a flower, why can't you just take the risk of embarrassing yourself, while you are seriously suspecting her to be "the One"?

If you worry and fear of embarrasing yourself, kill your own curiosity. Afterall, there is no point to confirm anything if she happens to be the One and yet you are not interested in her.

If she is the One,
will you wanna be close with her?
are you keen to make close friend with her?
or... are you just wanna identify your admirer as it makes you feel good?

Don't be mean guy, if you only appreciate the effort spent, but not the girl who did it. And of coz, don't encourage her to "owe up" and speak up for her feeling if you know that you are not ready for it or plan to reject it.

I agree with the suggestion in the previous post that you should just get close with her naturally as friend, be it if she is "the One" of not. afterall, it brings no harm to know her as a friend even if she is not the One, if she actually interests you as a person. :)

Accident often happens that you may one day be thankful to the real girl who gave you the flower and the mistake you made if you turn out to have a close friend when she happens to be not the One.

All the best! :D