How can I make him like me...

[rajul]

Well, this is a first for me...

I managed to find someone who I really adore and just like immensely. I want to fall in love with him and try out for a hot and long term relationship.

His argument is that he is still has feelings for his ex (the relationship ended about three and half weeks before I met him) but somehow I can't believe him because something tells me he is just scared to try it out.

I really, I MEAN REALLY LIKE THIS GUY.

We talked and parted with me being pissed but I decided that I want to fight for the heart of this man. This included a rose and a card in front of his door, a nice flower pot with poetry written on a perfumed note on it, I am thinking of using other maybe more drastic measures like singing in front of his window, or buying him a nice birthday cake and placing it in front of his doorstep or even showing up unannounced and handing it to him.

Can anyone please give me some hints or pieces of advice on how to make this man love me??

[Kaisharga]

*Big, loud, gameshow buzzer sound*
BRRRRZZZZZZZNT!

Oh, I'm sorry Rajul. But you can have this lovely consolation prize.

*steps back into serious-answer mode*

The best way to approach this guy is to let him, AS HE SAID EXPLICITLY, have some room for a while. You want him to have true feelings for you, right? Then give him some time to figure out what his true feelings are. After he's recuperated from his recent breakup, THEN you can do all the wooing you want. Minimum, one month away from his ex. More, preferably, since you've been hitting him upside the head with the relationship-stick, and confusing him further.

If you really care about this guy, back away for a bit, and think about how he feels. Probably bad about any attachment he had to his ex, which has now been severed, and confused as to where his life is going, and what his feelings are through this time of trouble in his emotional life.

Wouldn't you want him to do the same for you, if you had just broken up with someone?

If you can't see this, then what you have is infatuation, not love, and I suggest for both of your sakes that you seek professional counseling immediately. And I MEAN THAT.

--Kaisharga

[GeminiTau]

I agree you cannot make any one fall in love with you..your best bet is to walk away from this one, otherwise you will be the one getting hurt.

[Sweetheart]

:p :devil: :D How do i get him to like me? Just be his friend first Well this is the first time i have had to reply to this...so be patient with me okay? First things first...It seems he still has feelings for his ex...So let it be..u can't change the way he feels..so just go with the flow okay? In time he will change..But don't be something ur not okay? Believe me i truly understand when u fall in love with someone it has to be right..Okay? Im from hawaii so this islandgurl knows what is going on and i like giving advice to the young people...okay?

Aloha, Sweetheart;-)

[curious]

Honey, if I were him, I'd run from you like a roach runs from RAID. You're coming on WAY TOO STRONG!! what you want is exactly what he DOESN'T need right now. He needs you to be his friend and for your sake, that's what you need to be to him. I say this for several reasons.
#1 He still has feelings for his ex.
The good part is he openly admits this to you . He saying to you "Stay away I don't want to hurt you." That's a good starting point. He cares enough about you to warn you. If you feelings for him are as strong as you say they are, then the last thing you want is to get involved on the rebound and a month from now, the ex strolls back into his life doing the "I'm sorry baby, I want you back" routine. He'd drop you so quick you'd think your butt was on fire.:bawling:
#2 Being his friend now, gets your foot in the door later and saves you a lot of hurt and rejection in the meantime. Listen to him as he goes through this. The breakup of a serious relationship is just like a death. Meaning -to heal, there are 5 stages that one must go through. :(
Denial , Anger, Grief, mourning, and finally acceptance. (I'll tell you more about this process in a PM if you'd like ) But my point is, be there for him now when he needs you as a friend, then eventually his point of view will shift to you.
#3 As you listen, you'll pick up little things, like his likes and dislikes about his ex. Not saying that you should compare yourself to her, but you'll have a better idea of what mistakes not to make. You'll find out things that made him happy. You get a sense of his vulnerability and his sensitive areas. You'll probably get to see the moody sides of him that he'd show to a friend, but not a girlfriend. All of that will be priceless info stored away for future reference.
#4 You don't want 2B his rebound fling. The rebound girl hardly ever gets the man for good. You may get to taste the goodies, but your chance at a real relationship is very small
Good Luck:)

Get sweet and sweeter than sweet...now, my sweet...

[Kaisharga]

With sweety sweet sweets of sweetification, sweetened with sweetener so sweet sweet sweets that sweeter sweets could never be so sweet! of sweetness! sw3333t!

--Kaisharga :flippy: