Men are a real mystery to me...........

[Angeleyes]

Can someone please tell me why guys never ask me out for a date, and why I always end up just as "the good friend"?

I consider myself to have a bubbly personality, they seem to trust me implicitly, I'm not that bad looking (well I didn't see any horns growing out of my head the last time I looked) and as far as I'm aware I'm giving out the right signals. Sooooooo...............what's up with them!?:( :mad:

Angeleyes

[Ares]

You need an amplifier. An amplifier to amplify your signals.

Guys can be slow in getting the signals. I am one of them. Maybe we need software upgrades for our antenna.

[Angeleyes]

But why? I mean come on what does it take apart from us gals throwing ourselves in front of your feet, and I'm just not that kind of girlie:)).

Do you think if I were to shout "FOOD" - I'd bet they'd hear that! (hahahah). What's the saying, "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach". :D

Thanks for replying Ares.

Angeleyes:angel:

[Kaisharga]

How about a peck on the cheek? That's SURE to get their attention. Then act like it never happened later. That's sure to mess his mind up ;)

Of course, when you two talk about it, then you can reveal your feelings more fully. Of course, this means you have to initiate. Guys can be pretty weird about the whole asking-out thing.

--Kaisharga

[Angeleyes]

Guys weird! ..... I entirely agree! You certainly hit-the-nail :smash: on the head on this one "Big K".:)

Angeleyes:

[GeminiTau]

Okay girl you need to be assertive. If you find someone interesting instead of waiting for them to ask you, you ask them. Something little like a movie or the park or maybe the zoo. Find out what there interests are...flirt with all your might. Smile, joke, be touchy feely:kiss: Give him all your attention, use body language. If someone feels or thinks that you are not interested in them, then that intimidates them not to ask you out. Flirting goes a long way. Just taking an interest in them also helps. That tells them that you think of them more than just a friend.

Example...if I am interested in someone, I always make eye contact and I smile alot and if I get to know them better I will become affectionate, like hugging them, giving them a small friendly massage(on the shoulders or neck) I will call them and ask them out. Do not be afraid, do not be intimidated. As Nike says "Just do it"

[Pandora1980]

Ok- I was going to say I know how ya feel because most of my friends are guys- but more often than not I'm the one who wants to be just friends.
I guess all I did was be myself. Flirt a little if you have to.
If you want to get them intrigued- you could try to somehow weasel in a conversation about making out and stuff when you're talking to them. Tell them how you do this thing where you gently suck on the earlobe and run your tongue down the neck and with your ex boyfriends- it ALWAYS drove them NUTS. Ask him if he wants you to show him. If they say no- they're retarded- because they obviously like your personality if they want to be friends with you- if they are by chance retarded- just play it off like you were just going to show them so they could do it to a future girlfriend or something.
I know this sounds bad- but drinking helps too- feelings they may have already- but were afraid to show-come out under the influence of alcohol- I don't know how old you are though. Just don't stop being friends with them if they reject you- you may feel dumb for a little bit but you'll both get over it.
Plus a lot of guys believe that there's no such thing as a platonic relationship with th opposite sex- they probably thought you were cute when you first started talkign to them.
- Sorry this is so long- but I hope it helps

[Angeleyes]

Gemini

Thanks for replying. I will try my best to be more "assertive", "flirty" and all the other things you said in the future.

Angeleyes:)

[Angeleyes]

Pandora

Don't apologies for the lengthy message - the more info/guidance I can get the better.:D

Thanks for the ideas. I think I could definitely go along with the "getting HIM drunk" bit. And then I could basically - INTERROGATE HIM (obviously in a nice gentle, sensual way) !hmm now that sounds like fun!:)

Angeleyes

[Joshua]

sorry but all the girls i know are weird and sometimes pisses me off. :(

[babymother]

angel if your not in to the push yourself out their type of thing you could always. one day if your around this guy or on the phone with him try to spark up conversations about relationships like how happy you could make a male or just hint around and if your bold just come out and ask him would he ever consider being with you or just tell him how you feel don't try to get him by using sex because it won't turn into the type of relationship that you want it will just be about sex and we don't want that now do we so girl you better find some courage from somewhere and go get him if you think he's taking him to long to come get you good luck girl and the next time we enter this board you should have your man right :daisy:

[Angeleyes]

Thanks for the words of encouragement BM. Since putting the initial message on the board I’ve established that he’s married (didn’t know this to start off with, as he never wears a wedding ring). So I crossed him off my list straight away!

I will however try and be more assertive in future – but its very difficult sometimes I don’t want them to get the wrong impression.

Hopefully when I next update this thread I'll have found another victim by then!:)

So I endeavour to keep practising. :D

Take care.

Angeleyes:angel:

[LeBlueBoy]

It's still not easy for guys to grasp what signals females may be sending--especially when women make advances and then retreat. You may have to be embarrassingly bold in letting the other guy know your real intentions.

One time I was at a bar, carrying on a lively conversation with some woman I had known a mere twenty minutes, and she finally turned to me and said "shut up and kiss me." (This approach seems to work well with ex-military and aging Catholic alter-boys, who respond well to direct commands without questioning--I'm the latter). I was so stunned by that direct request that I had no choice but to obey.

Another incredibly daring approach was a woman who straddled me at a party and told me "I'm going to make you like me." (The fact is: I already thought she was cute, and that I had been talking to her online for several months, so I had already liked her for some time.) However--her sense of humor and sense of self-confidence are the two things that allowed her to pull this particular stunt off as outrageously well as she did.

The point is...and it may seem sexist or politically incorrect in suggesting this...is that women can get away with much bolder and aggressive moves in this day and age than men can. While sexual harrassment is a real, and a serious, problem; the sexual politics surrounding it are so vague and open for misinterpretation, that most guys will stay on the safe side of the fence until there is absolutely no chance of misinterpreting a signal. We're slowly becoming a society where we expect women to make the first move, and to be a little more aggressive in furthering the relationship. I don't think its a particularly bad development, it just requires a different mentality in pursuing another person and a different set of rules.

[Kaisharga]

I hope you don't mind if i save that message on file, LBB; that was a real piece of work there. I'd never thought of it that way, and you got some good points there. Fascinating. *clickclick*

--Kaisharga

[Angeleyes]

Hi LeBlueBoy – welcome to ACME and thanks for your reply – very interesting read.

I’ll try and make my reply as brief as possible (I just hope I’ve interpreted your message correctly and haven’t got the wrong end of the stick so to speak)………:)

We're slowly becoming a society where we expect women to make the first move, and to be a little more aggressive in furthering the relationship.

I too have never thought of it in that context before, but call me old-fashioned, why all of a sudden are guys expecting us women to make the first move? (Re your comment on Catholic education – Intro. board), I too have had a strict upbringing – maybe that’s my problem in taking the more aggressive approach, where men are concerned. However, for example, in a professional stance - this isn’t a problem.

So I’m a bit intrigued by this whole thing of “role reversal” and why men have now chosen to sit on the sideline and take a “back-seat”, leaving us women to do all the chasing. Is it just a question of male pride/ego? (Some of my male colleagues/friends have said that they feel they have nothing, for want of a word, to “offer” a woman except sex (and I believe there are things a woman can buy to replace that nowadays:blush: )). So does the problem lie with men finding the “modern” women, too intimidating - as a lot of us women are on an equal footing to you men as far as career, owning a house, car, etc.?

(Oh before you all lynch me and banish me to the back of beyond - (especially Kaisharga:lol: )– yes I know there is more to a relationship than the materialistic side of things, such as love, companionship etc., hehehe)).:D

[Kaisharga]

I think the point of LBB's thing, at least on that subject, was that modern women have that big shiny golden Sword of Legend that is the "Sexual Harassment Lawsuit." And, to be realistic, most of the time the prosecuted is convicted, ESPECIALLY if they're male.

So, to avoid ANY possibility of that, guys have to cover all their bases, and be sure that anything and everything they say and do could NEVER possibly be construed as sexually harassing.

--Kaisharga, who doesn't lynch veterans ;)

[Angeleyes]

Eh I’m no veteran – believe me – far from it. I just read a lot :lol:

[Kaisharga]

Going back over the messages, I'd like to address something that I'd neglected hitherto. That is about that i've-known-you-20-minutes-so-kiss-me incident. Apparently, this is more common than most people would think--I'd heard of a survey conducted that women think that their ideal meeting at a bar-like scene would involve intelligent, engaging conversation for a while (i'd heard 15 to 30 minutes, up to an hour), followed by a direct (but not raunchy) request for sex.

Just something to think about. :nod:

--Kaisharga, who loves using that smiley :lol:

[Angeleyes]

I thought on it and come to the conclusion that …………….you drive me crazy K..……….. :wacko: :bouncy3:

[Kaisharga]

My post was unrelated to your post above. Refer to the new PM in your direction.

*gets AE's keyboard back, dusts it off*

it's hard to type with your mouse, heh.

--Kaisharga :drinky:

[katty]

Giv' them a kick at the butt to get them moving. :bubbly:
All the best, Angel!

[Angeleyes]

now that sounds like good advice Katty.:)

Oh by-the-way. Love your Avatar:cool:

[katty]

Thanks Angel. It was actually upon seeing your avatar that made me wanna have one too. ;)
I like your avatar, it is very cute and fun-loving.

[Angeleyes]

I'm trying to find an decent animated one.

Keep a look out for changes and I'd apreciate it if you'd (or anyone else) would let me know what you think, cos I'll revert back to the cute doggy one if you think the new one's naff.:)

Many thanks. :daisy:

[wave]

Something for Katty:

""Giv' them a kick at the butt to get them moving.
All the best, Angel""

Bad idea!
Although men are constantly looking for love disregarding the wounds caused by the processes, it may seemed to be nice for a little bit of respectation? There's always some reasons if a guy is not asking a girl out, and i am sure most of the men ain't into the "love in 1st sight" theory, so friendship is a reasonably fresh start!

Regards,

by wave