Why Does Bad Things Happen To Good Guys?

[Smokey Mc Pot]

Why do bad things happen to good guys?

Take me for example. Tried being the nice guy who respects a girl, and does all the swete things, and the girl i tried to date wanted and got my one of my best friends, and her reason was i was too much of a good guy for her. So i did the opposite, being the bad boy, the boy everyone hated, but respected. Went after the same type of girl, and she left me for...you guessed it, my other best friend. The reason? I was too much of a bad boy, and her parents wouldn't like it. So, i tried to balance it out, and my friend introduced me to some girl that he thought would get the green light. As we're out, she sees a boy she used to have a crush on, and just left me for him, after about 4 minutes into our date.

Why does this stuff happen to the nice guy, who just wants a girl to be by his side, to be there for him, and for him to love, honour and cherish for the rest of their time together? Why do girls change their minds about the guy they want, and why do girls always say they want a nice guy, but in reality, always go for the bad boy, but when that girl finds out he's a huge success, like a highly priced lawyer, doctor or a famous athlete, they flock back to him, and act as if they were in love since high school, when he first asked her out, but dumped him?

This is the story o fmy life (well, not the top superstar soccer player part, but im already playing semi-pro soccer at age 16).

What am I supposed to do? If any girls have an opinion on this topic, I urge to you to post your response, and either agree or disagree with my statement.

I thank You For Reading My Thoughts, And Goodnight

[Kaisharga]

I hope you'll accept my reply at least, even tho i'm not a girl. :)

My theory is that you're trying too hard to be something. Just always be yourself and things will turn out the way YOU deserve, and often the way YOU want them to happen.

Regarding the 'bad things happen to good guys,' I like to think of it as 'crap happens to everyone, but people notice it more on good people because the bad ones get it ALL the time.'

BTW, congrats on the soccer thing! I expect to see you in the olympics, young man ;)

--Kaisharga

[Smokey Mc Pot]

Well, the thing is, I'm not really trying hard, I'm just trying to find the right one, but no matter what i do, im always getting screwed, while everyone else i posssibly know has a boy/girl friend. Which pisses me off because they dont treat the girlfriends (the guys i know) and they stay with them, all because they'r ethe star hockey player, or the star football player. I'm willing to be a complete gentleman, to make her feel special. Now, i;'m not sayin im that bad, i mean, i dont look in a mirro and rate my looks, but im pretty cute (from what some friends tell me) and i'm the star soccer goalie and school's shutout record holder after inly 2 years at my high school, but the girls claim that soccer or baseball and all the rest are not important because they wont lead anywhere. Soccer can pay as much as any other sport, and maybe even more. But, what gets me is when the girl u asked out like 10 years ago dumped u, and at ur reunion, u show up as the world cup hero, or nba finals mvp or whatever, she flocks back, and seduces you to take her. and who can resist? i know at least one person who would, and that would be me. If she didnt loike me when i was a 16 year old kid, balancing out school, 2 part time jobs and trying to biuld a soccer career, why am i good enuf 4 her when im getting $15 million per season?

That's about it. I just feel so much better releasing my frustration with the opposite sex im my early years of relationships and the importance of the love of someone else in their life. It may come soon, but will it be for the reason to have someone who loves you for who u are, or for the fear of further rejection, of being alone, or because some girl u asked out 10 years ago, wants some of you money, and dump u like she did once upon a time?

[xiaomoon]

there's still a long way to go..~( you are still young)
so don't worry about not getting ur miss right!
it doesn't mean that your all friends have girlfriends so you must also have.
don't be desperate for now.. if you wanna find a person who is really right for you, then you must have the patience..
try not to spent so much time thinking about when will you find your partner but instead you should think about other things...
and love will come to you without you knowing it shortly!~;)

[babymother]

Don't change who you are and what your about because look at it this way good things come to those who wait and before you know it ms right will be right there waiting for you because in my eyes it's nothing better than having a man that you know loves and cares about you and will do any thing to prove that to you so don't feel bad because your only doing what a man should do by respecting and loving those girl. ;) ;) ;)

[LeBlueBoy]

I don't believe in NOT changing who you are. Experiences change people, medications change people, relationships change people, etc. Usually the saddest thing to see are people who DON'T change, people who are exactly the same people they were 20 years ago. At least if you work on changing yourself, you have some control over the outcome of the situation.

That being said...the real change that needs to be made here is in attitude.

The major attraction of a "Bad Boy" is that they're fun, and that they don't place women on pedistals. Pedistals usually burden people with responsibilities that they don't want. If you see someone as "not being that type of girl" and they really are that type of girl, then they're not going to feel as comfortable being around you than they will around someone who doesn't care if they're that type of girl or not. The key is to appreciate others without being judgemental, and to not react defensively to rejection.

Women want to be honestly appreciated--not viewed as a person whose virtues are beyond what they are capable. Once you're placed on a pedistal, it's a lot of work to not get knocked off. A little crudeness, mixed with a lot of common sense, can make a woman feel as if she's been accepted as a part of the group.