-Please Help!!!- **CoNfUsEd**

[sweetie87]

Theres this guy that im involved with, and we both love each other (hes liked me since before the end of the summer, i started to then but didnt talk to him for awhile and i started to like him again around the begining of september) but he was dating a friend of mine before, but they went out for only a week and its been 2 weeks since then but shes loved him for like 3 years now. He wants me to go out with him but I told him no, for one reason, hes kind of unpopular so im embarrased to even though ive been told not to care what other people think, but mostly because my friend still has strong feelings for him and I dont want to ruin our friendship, she does know that I love him though, and I dont know how she feels about it, were still close friends and such, but.. I dont know. Also, Fri. he said that if i didnt go to homecoming w. him or whatever he was going to ask someone else and I said i dont know if i can go so he said ok im going to ask someone else and he left!!!! I was mad then, and i had no reason to be, now im sort of depressed!!!! Also, it seems like since last thursday hes been loosing interest, he doesnt pay as much attention to me and he doesnt talk to me as much as before. (id slept with him the friday before this for the 1st time ek) n e way... we had a couple little fights in the couple days after, he was getting mad that i didnt want to go out w/ him and i told him it was because of my friend but i guess he didnt seem to understand it then but now he does i guess, and he said like 'is all u want from me is a bed' or whatever but its not all i want! Hes the one always askin when i can comeover and telling me all the times he'll be alone and such, ugh...i dont know what to do, i need suggestions on how to get his interest back and what else to do! Is he pulling away or something being im so hesitant to go to the homecoming w/ him and date him?? I dont know what to do! I feel like i messed everything up

[Defenstra]

ah the turbulent trials of high school life.... it seems to me that he wanted you to show some commitment in him. (the whole "homecoming bit". i'm confused as to why you said no in the first place.) by the rather distraught tone of your message, you seem to really like this guy... and though it has been some time since i have gone to a homecoming dance, ultimately it's just a dance. sure there is always drama, but drama usually dies down after a few weeks. if you really like this guy... then humor his wants/needs with this little sign that you are actually willing to be around him in such a formal setting, despite his dorkiness/lack of popularity.

be not the girl who forsakes inner happiness for outward appearances.

the threat of asking someone else was mostly envoked in some sort of desperate reflex defensive manuver so you would not dismiss him. regarding your other conserns about your friend, if she is a friend then she should recognize and ultimately revel in your happiness....

(on a side note, i am rather conserned about how quickly your interest in him perked and by the swiftness of the development of your relationship. i hope your interest in him did not come to light because of your friends original interest.... this sort of dating/interest feigning one-up-manship usually leads to someone getting really REALLY hurt.)

ask him to homecoming. if you two have a good time at the dance, all the merrier. if you two have a rather dreadful time then don't date him. if he says too late then maybe you gave such an impression as to dash his hopes. or maybe he's just a jerk. eh.

eh that's my 2 cents.

Def

[Kaisharga]

*applauds*

You listen to Def! She's got the right idea.

--Kaisharga

[Defenstra]

I'm glad you liked my 2 cents kaisharga.... but for future reference i'm a guy not a girl.

eh no worries.

Def

[Kaisharga]

eh, my bad; I should be more careful, having a rather feminine pseudonym myself :p