Internet love-affair or reality check???

[Manuela]

My husband of 7 month took up a job in another state 2000 miles away. We have great plans for our future and this job will help us to achieve our goals. Family and financial issues wont allow me for about another year to join him.
I recently discovered that my husband, whom I dearly trusted, posted an ad on adultfinder. In his ad he made it clear that he is married but was looking for a discreet, no-strings attached, 1- on -1 sexual/romantic relation ship.
After I overcame my initial shock, pain and feeling of betrayal I took the week off to visit him. I questioned him about the ad. He got very defensive about me snooping in his e-mail and then explained to me that it is totally harmless. It is his way of flirting and picking peoples brain. He also said that he can do this in the privacy of his home and turn the PC on and off without ever getting "real physical" with anyone.
He is currently writing to a woman close in his area. I have intersepted letters from him to her and vise versa that he is unaware of. These letters are of deep substance and he is pressing this woman with many compliments to her intelligent to meet him. His letters to her indicate that he has not yet been unfaithfull to me but, according to him she may have the qualities to overstep the boundries.

Shall I believe the words he spoke to me that he is devoted and faithful to our marriage or shall I follow my instinct that he eventually (most likely with her) will engage in sexual activities.
Please do respond. There is no one except my husband that I could confide in.

[sailor7]

has your husband done any such thing in the past? if not ask yourself what made him do it? try to meet him often and ignite his passion for you so that he wouldn't think of going to another woman. You should ask him very politely and in a friendly manner what he is upto by doing these things

[jklddancer]

you know i dont know you but i do know that if someon loved me they wouldnt do that. I would not like that at all and tell him to stop, but why would someone that loves you do something like that? I dont understand. I know that if you really love and care for someone all you would do is think about that one person you love and not try to persue another at the same time, it just doesnt sound right. I think you need to let him know it's not ok and he continues then leave him, why waste your time with that?
jkld

[Snuggles21]

I am sorry to hear about what is going on with you and your family. I am in a similar situation right now. My fiancee is in the military. He is currently deployed and has been often through out our relationship. It does get hard and lonely to be away from someone for a long period of time. Though that is NO reason to be posting ads like that anywhere. If you love someone that love holds you together and satifies you until that person is physicaly with you again. Please do not let him do this to you. No one man or woman deserves to be disrespected like that in a relationship. If I were you I would tell him whether he is just picking people apart as he says or is seriously considering doing that, Tell him you refuse to stand for it. If he doesnt stop doing ofter you tell him how much it is hurting you then for your sake and your sanity please evaluate your situation. I hope everything works out for the best.