down in the dumps

[skyhi311]

my fiance left me a week ago. we had been together for ayear and 3 months. he said he wants to be free and act like a kid again. he says he still loves me but he cant do this anymore. i also have 2 young children that think he is their father. i think it deserves another try. we never had any major problems before. how do i get him to give us another try.:bawling: help me please

[Byron]

Hi skyhi311,

"he says he still loves me but he cant do this anymore." Don't believe crap like this. It's a polite way of saying "I don't want to be with you anymore."

He said he wants to be free and act like a kid again. From that sentence he made, I suspect the relationship is giving him extra responsibility and pressure which he is unable to cope and not ready to undertake.

Did you rush the romance along too quickly? The longer the amount of time a relationship has to grow and mature, the stronger the bonds of emotional attachment two people will feel for each other. Try and keep the friendship developing as long as possible at first, without frightening off a potential lover.

You also mentioned that you have 2 young children that think he is their father. Could this be one of the responsibility and pressure factor he is feeling? I suspect he is running from making commitments, not from being loved by you.

Are you with him because you love him? Or, are you with him because your 2 young children think he is their father?

Of course you love him. But if the decisions you made in this relationship are heavily influenced by the responsibility you feel towards your 2 children, then it's not fair to him and he may not willing or ready for the commitment.

[skyhi311]

thank you for the reply. i want to say though that we had a wonderful love for each other, but i must admit we rushed things very fast. i love him with all my heart. i cant imagine that it has to be over because we rushed things. im having a very tough time accepting it:(