Neo
08-14-2001, 03:09 PM
The Smiths had tried for years to have a baby and, not having any
success decided to try a surrogate father. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off to work, the surrogate should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer just happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, madam, you don't know me but I've come to_"
"Oh, no need to explain, I've been expecting you." Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" The photographer asked, "I've made a specialty of babies - I'm really very good."
"That is what my husband and I had hoped", blushed Mrs. Smith.
"Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on
the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes on the living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out."
"Bathtub, living room floor? Oh, my, no wonder it didn't work for
Harry and me." "Well, Madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we use several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you will be pleased with the results".
"I hope we can get this over quickly", gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to
be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
The photographer pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
"This was done on top of a bus in downtown London".
"Oh, my God!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with," he said, handing her another photo.
"She was difficult?", asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done. People were crowding around five or six deep, pushing to get a look."
"Five or six deep", asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widening in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "and for more than three hours the
mother was constantly squealing and yelling, I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it in."
"You mean they actually chewed on your, ummm, equipment?" gasped a shocked Mrs. Smith.
"That's right. Well, Madam if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod
so that we can get to work."
"A tripod!! " Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
"Oh, yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam, Madam??? _..
Good God, she's fainted!!"
success decided to try a surrogate father. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off to work, the surrogate should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer just happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, madam, you don't know me but I've come to_"
"Oh, no need to explain, I've been expecting you." Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" The photographer asked, "I've made a specialty of babies - I'm really very good."
"That is what my husband and I had hoped", blushed Mrs. Smith.
"Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on
the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes on the living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out."
"Bathtub, living room floor? Oh, my, no wonder it didn't work for
Harry and me." "Well, Madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we use several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you will be pleased with the results".
"I hope we can get this over quickly", gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to
be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
The photographer pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
"This was done on top of a bus in downtown London".
"Oh, my God!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with," he said, handing her another photo.
"She was difficult?", asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done. People were crowding around five or six deep, pushing to get a look."
"Five or six deep", asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widening in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "and for more than three hours the
mother was constantly squealing and yelling, I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it in."
"You mean they actually chewed on your, ummm, equipment?" gasped a shocked Mrs. Smith.
"That's right. Well, Madam if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod
so that we can get to work."
"A tripod!! " Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
"Oh, yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam, Madam??? _..
Good God, she's fainted!!"