Man I Need Of Help

[sillky2001]

I've liked this woman for a long time. I think she knew it but she still went and messed around with another man. She is 26, and im 21. She was living with the father of her son when i met her. I was being the nice guy and waiting for her to get life strait. Ya know. Anyways like I said she started dating another man, he dumped on her and then she came to me. We decided in an alcholic beng that we would have sex. Now we had our fling and she has decided that we went to fast and that she doesnt want to screw up our friendship. I think she likes someone else are she is just using me for the house she wants to rent from me. When I see her and I try to be sweet and I tell her i missed her and ask if she missed me she says yes. But she tells me she has to think about it. She says she scared and that she been hurt but everyone has been hurt before. WHAT DO I DO. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

[Joey]

From what you wrote, I have a feeling that she doesn't really love you. Is the age gap a problem for both of you?

[Kaisharga]

Five years gap? That's not a whole lot, when you're dealing with the mid-20's. I'd say that this woman is confused in general--she's darting from that one relationship into another fling, if your observations are correct, that is not likely to be a lasting thing. She has said that she's got interest in you, and you are probably set in the 'good, nice friend' position in her mind. The fact that she still stays with you after you had your 'whoops!' sex says a lot. She trusts you, and that's important, and relevant.

Chances are she'll end up getting rid of this other guy who she's basically using as a flotation device, emotionally speaking, hopefully get her feelings sorted out, and then decide (in all likelihood) that she wants to spend more time with you. Just support her through this, don't be belligerent towards the other guy, but don't be too amicable either. (You're plugging the woman I have feelings for? Great! Come in, have a beer.) Sit this out, and things are quite likely to go the way you're seeing that they should.

Best of luck,

--Kaisharga

[Dreamer18]

i think she used you and is still using you. I think you should dump her and move on to someone better. I mean i know yall were drunk but hey you can't use that as an excuse i am 18 and even i know that. I have had many friends get screwed over and then they tell her oh i was drunk that is why islept with your best friend. Hope i was of help.

[LeBlueBoy]

Some girls take awhile before they're ready to settle for a responsible relationship.

I knew a girl a few years back who was self destructive, but sweet...and she had a forum of nice guys that followed her around, hoping for the chance to "save her." The problem was, she wasn't quite ready to be "saved" at that point--so these guys basically got used (and, I might point out, "getting used" was their own choice--she was honest about her intentions, but some guys seem to have a real problem taking what a girl says at face value.) Finally, she took a trip to Spain, met a wealthy guy there, and hooked up with him--now she's a devoted mother. Her groupies, on the other hand, are either confirmed bachelors, or looking for new women to save (I refer to those lost souls as the "Cult of Suzi")

The point is, you need to move on or you risk losing a large chunk of your life waiting for something to happen that will probably not happen.