shy guy who needs a little help

[sephiroth32198]

well i guess the title says it all...

i have a huge fear of rejection which leads to many problems in getting a date *go figure* i was just curious if anyone had any tips i could use to overcome the fear and just allow myself to go and talk to a woman without the fear

thx in advance

[CKDlala]

hey shy guy, i too had this problem in the past and it was beacuse of a lack of confidence. i was scared to approach guys in fear of rejection. what a girl really wants is just someone that shows he is interested and she will be much more prone to show those feelings back. figure it this way, what do you have to lose?? girls are looked on as the weaker sex so it is just natural that the majority of the time, the boy makes the first moves in relationship. so go get em' and good luck to ya shy boy!

[sephiroth32198]

thank you very much... i hope

[chicadiva77]

dude, all u have to do is think back 3 years or even 2 or one year ago, and has anybody remembered every little thing youve said to a girl? well no!! i dont think ne one does!! and if u just approach the girl your interested in and be civil and nice about it, u shouldnt feel bad if theyre not interested right away, girls are very very skeptical, and i should know, i dont believe i single thing that comes out of a guys mouth ( sorry guys!) but thats just me, and if shes interested than duh, shes interested! but all u have to do is try and try again, persistance gets you where u wanna go, just dont bug a girl over and over, cuz that guarantees a no. and since u actually care aobut something like this, thats gotta say something! just dont expect sex or a hook up right away, girls wanna guy who wants to know them, thats all! so good luck and u will find the right girl in no time, just strike up a conversation, it doesnt have to be sexual!!

[Guy18]

I'm a lot better now, but I used to be really shy. Well a lot of it wasn't that I was shy I just had really low self-confidence socially, which I guess is a lot of being shy. I always shyed away from talking to people, because I thought that I was just wasting people's time. I didn't have enough self confidence to think that anyone would really want to talk with me. This went with both guys and girls, but especially girls. When I think about most of my friends growing up, I never really was the one that initiated anything to start out with.

Also whenever I did or said anything stupid, I thought that people would remember it forever and look at me badly, but this is never the case. I thought since I remembered it and thought about how stupid it was, other people did too, but everyone makes mistakes and does stupid things. I now think about if someone else did what I did, how I would think of it, and usually it is so small that I'd forget about it immediately.

I still have a problem though with asking girls out. I think that even if they say yes that they may just be doing it to be nice, and they don't really want to do it. I don't like forcing people into doing something they don't want to do, but I just have to force myself to think that if they say yes they honestly want to, because they do have a choice.

Over the past year, I have become a lot more outgoing though, I think it is just a part of the growing up process. My advice is to force yourself to get into situations where you feel uncomfortable and soon you will look back and wonder what was so hard about it.

[Angeleyes]

You need to do as CK suggested and make the first move.

I posted a similar message (guys are a mystery to me) from a female perspective and was advised that I needed to be more assertive, make the first move as some guy’s are slow at picking up signals etc. Even though I do agree with some of the replies posted to a certain extent - (sorry chaps call me old-fashioned) – I still deep down inside would expect a guy to make the first move.

Angeleyes:angel:

[StaRAngeL]

what is your problem man! come on! that is not that hard! i mean if she says no, that's her problem! she will be the one who lost the chance! can't you find an interesting problem! this problem is very old fashioned! she won't eat you! she is not a cannibal after all! i can't understand why guys are so shy about that dating stuff!! that is soooooo stupid!

[Aprilsky]

I don't think being shy about dating is "sooooo stupid", there are alot of different people out there who don't all think the same.
I think a girl can pretty much tell when a guy is interested. Personally, I like to be the one to make the first move, rather than have to tell a guy that I'm not interested. The point is that you should do whatever makes you comfortable and the right girl will come to you.
April

[Angeleyes]

I agree totally with April about *being shy and dating isn’t stupid and there are a lot of people who think the same.*

Can’t you find an interesting problem! & i can't understand why guys are so shy about that dating stuff!! that is soooooo stupid!

Regarding your comments above - Everyone is entitled to post their question on the boards no matter how insignificant someone else might think it is.

If you considered the thread "so stupid" then you shouldn’t have replied to it.:mad:

[Kaisharga]

StarAngel--here's an answer to 'why are guys so shy about dating?'

Next time you see a guy you find attractive/hot/cute/pick-your-own-adjective, go up and ask him out.

Suddenly struck with shyness?

Hm.

--Kaisharga