ImALilPinkGirl
07-10-2001, 04:04 PM
I am looking for you.
You, the one I have dreamed of. The one that seemed only a dream, and others thought an illusion. The one I tried to deny was out there, because dreams are no longer supposed to come true, according to everyone I have talked to. All the good ones are taken, they said. Just any old man will do, they said. They are all the same, they said.
However, while they told me about why I couldn’t find you, that you didn’t even exist, they also told me that I was special. I never knew why…
But while my mind tried to deny you, my heart and soul knew you were out there. Secretly, they plotted a course that drudged hard through stormy relationships that seemed to cry out disaster from the start. I couldn’t understand what Fate wanted, it seemed to bring to my door fine people, whom everyone around me said would make fine friends, boyfriends, lovers… but every I love you spoken was never the heart felt moment it was supposed to be. The one my heart cried out for every time and desperately wanted to believe. It even fooled itself a few times, I think.
And I fooled them along with it, heart wrenching as it was. But forever never sounded right from those few that let me pretend.
Now, while in the midst of learning from my mistakes of broken promises and dreams, I awoke the morning after and heard your voice, saw your face, and I called out to you, as I am calling out now, without knowing a name. What I have secretly dreamed for so long, I knew would be here soon. How and where were the details still yet explained.
I am looking for you, the dream lover that was so long denied. That one who still searches, too, for me. The one that haunts my dreams and leaves my cravings and desires unfulfilled until that one day where I might find you. This is my call; the one I hope will draw you to me. This letter calls out where my heart and soul can’t. This letter is my attempt to draw you to me, finally, after craving for you for so long. Never will the distance matter, you know that. Never will I throw away my hope, even if I try to deny it at times, you know that too. And while you look for me and I look for you, you know as well as I that I already love you. My dreams and thoughts are filled to the brim with you inside every moment. You know that even if I have never seen your face, never heard your voice, and never felt your touch, I know who you are. You…
You, the one that I have dreamed of…
I am looking for you.
Love,
Your dream.
© Calissa Leigh Ball 2001
You, the one I have dreamed of. The one that seemed only a dream, and others thought an illusion. The one I tried to deny was out there, because dreams are no longer supposed to come true, according to everyone I have talked to. All the good ones are taken, they said. Just any old man will do, they said. They are all the same, they said.
However, while they told me about why I couldn’t find you, that you didn’t even exist, they also told me that I was special. I never knew why…
But while my mind tried to deny you, my heart and soul knew you were out there. Secretly, they plotted a course that drudged hard through stormy relationships that seemed to cry out disaster from the start. I couldn’t understand what Fate wanted, it seemed to bring to my door fine people, whom everyone around me said would make fine friends, boyfriends, lovers… but every I love you spoken was never the heart felt moment it was supposed to be. The one my heart cried out for every time and desperately wanted to believe. It even fooled itself a few times, I think.
And I fooled them along with it, heart wrenching as it was. But forever never sounded right from those few that let me pretend.
Now, while in the midst of learning from my mistakes of broken promises and dreams, I awoke the morning after and heard your voice, saw your face, and I called out to you, as I am calling out now, without knowing a name. What I have secretly dreamed for so long, I knew would be here soon. How and where were the details still yet explained.
I am looking for you, the dream lover that was so long denied. That one who still searches, too, for me. The one that haunts my dreams and leaves my cravings and desires unfulfilled until that one day where I might find you. This is my call; the one I hope will draw you to me. This letter calls out where my heart and soul can’t. This letter is my attempt to draw you to me, finally, after craving for you for so long. Never will the distance matter, you know that. Never will I throw away my hope, even if I try to deny it at times, you know that too. And while you look for me and I look for you, you know as well as I that I already love you. My dreams and thoughts are filled to the brim with you inside every moment. You know that even if I have never seen your face, never heard your voice, and never felt your touch, I know who you are. You…
You, the one that I have dreamed of…
I am looking for you.
Love,
Your dream.
© Calissa Leigh Ball 2001