is this a good place?

[jason789]

For the last couple of weeks Ive been trying to ask this one girl out but I havent been able to scrounge together the courage to do so (everytime I approach her I just kind of freeze). We talk alot, but I dont think she knows that Im interested in her (I kind of stink at putting out signals... as Im kind of shy). Plus Im not sure if she is interested in me ... she's as shy as I am... so its like two negatives.
Anyways, Ive been trying to think of a place to ask her out to that wouldnt necessarily imply a major formal date (I was just going to say, "hey, would you like to go out sometime and do something?"... that way if she says no, its no biggie) If she says yes, I was thinking a concert might be good place. There's one coming to my town in a week or so... its an informal environment but we could still chat, hang out and get to know eachother better.

Can you guys please give me some input. Is a concert a good idea? Or is that sending the message that I never want to be more than just friends? If not a concert, where? Dinner? I just thought that seemed too formal (especially seeing as I havent detected many signs from her). Also, do you think "hey, would you like to go out sometime and do something?" is a decent way to approach her?

Thanks in advance :)

[idunno]

well the concert all depends on who is playing. Girls go crazy over incubus, dave matthews and john mayer and that would be a good place to go. But if its to a Korn, Ozzy Osbourne or Metallica she may get the impression of you just wanting to be friends. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK!

[Gan]

Don't necessarily use the words "would you like to go out". Just ask her if she'd like to go to the ______ (eg. movies) on ______ (eg. Saturday). Your main objective is to break down this shyness barrier as friends, and once that happens you should have no trouble going further with it if you both want to.

-Gan

[jason789]

I think im just going to word it "hey, id like to get your phone number, maybe we could go out sometime and do something."
Im afraid that if I make a specific day and say "would you like to go out saturday, blah blah blah," that it would be putting my head on the chopping block. What do ya think?

[Obs]

well ... depending on what you have planned for the 'date' ... you can ask her if she's free on a certain day/night and if she'd be willing to join you for lunch ... or ice cream or whatever! ... and if she isn't ... then you ask for a certain day she might be free? ... and of course if she still declines then you honourably withdraw ... and you pretty much have an idea of what her intentions in a manner of speaking.

it really comes down to how you want to approach the person ... its either the direct route ... or the indirect route (what you just suggested jason) ... the indirect route i usually use when it comes to women who are already somewhat my friends ... and the direct route i prefer for women who i don't really know that well

Good luck :) feel free to ask any other q's ... can't say i can really help you ... but i can relate my experiences to you and perhaps you might get an idea.

- Obsidian

[Gan]

It's a good idea to tell her what day so she knows what she's getting into. "Would you like to go out sometime" is pretty damn broad and she won't know when or where - open invitations don't go down well. She will tell you then and there is she can or can't if you give her a day. If she can't and feels bad and tries to schedule for another day then she's either interested or feels sorry for you. If she goes "oh, sorry, I'm out that day", she obviously doesn't want to go out with you, so don't waste any more time on her.

-Gan

[jason789]

Im just going to say, "Would you like to go out to dinner Thursday night?" or something like that.
If she seems positive Ill try to get her phone number and whatnot.
Is it best to ask her where she would like to go? I already have some place in mind, but I thought it might be a good idea to see if there is a certain restaurant she likes or something.

Thanks for the advice.

[Obs]

surprisingly ... asking someone where they want to go ... backfires a lot of times ... it somehow shows indecisiveness when what you're just trying to be flexible ;) so i'd say don't go there ... unless she says for example... she doesn't like a certain movie ... and then you could ask her which one she would like to see ... same thing goes for restaurants ... but choose one right from the beginning that you feel comfortable in and believe she will like as well.

- Obsidian

[vegan]

well if your both shy...your best bet is to be the agressor...make her
feel even more shy than she is by being a little permissive and asking her a few questions to prenounce the fact that you are interested in her. Make up a
a story on how you became interested or acknowledged her. I always found the best way to meet someone you dont know is to somehow involve yourself into her world, even if that means intentionally parking next to her or
happen to be somewhere in which she is. But remember to be agressive, shy
girls like this.

[RosaMystica7]

Hmm... but you don't want to scare her away either. ;) How about right in the middle. Something and somewhere aren't really good words though, too broad is right... try asking her if she likes ________ (whatever group the concert will be) and if she says yes... tell her about the concert and ask her if she would join you... if she says no.... ask her what she does like I guess lol... Dinner sounds good, but as a shy girl myself I'd be afraid that I'd make a mess and make an idiot out of myself. :( Maybe ask her what she likes to do for fun? That would get a little hint out about what you're getting at... and then you would have more ideas of stuff to do.