My situation

[Txcwby84]

Ok im in a bit of a situation and I dont know if im just stupid for waiting or is it for real?


Ok we met three years ago and we went out for a couple months. I completly fell in love with her and she said that she loved me too. And after a few months of going out she broke up with me. I was heart broken but continued to love her even when we didnt talk for a long time. and about 7 months ago we started to talk again and she told me that she still loved me and the thing she regreted most in her life was breaking up with me. We started to become extremely close friends and we are now best friends. And we talked about going back out but she chose to go out with another guy instead. She told me that she wanted to make sure that she had feelings for only me and no other guys. They have been going out for about six months but we still say I love you to each other and recently she told me that she was completly in love with me and that she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life. And I have felt that way for a while and now thay she feels the same I belive that it will happen. We plan on going to college together and have planned the rest of our lives together, yet she says that she loves the guy shes with and doesnt want to break up with until shes sure that shes completly over him. So I find my self waiting for her and I havnt really been looking for another gf or anything.

[angel143ml]

:angel6:

Txcwby84,

It seems to me that if she really loved you, she would be with you, not someone else. It seems to me that she wants to have her cake and eat it too, You and her boyfriend at the same time. :wall: I guess the real question is, how much do you like yourself? I would hope enough to say no to the games and call her on it, at least then you'll know what's going on. ;)

Only by loving yourself first, can you truly love someone else.:p
You do know the saying, "A man is where he wants to be"?, well the same goes for females.

Angel143ml

:angel6:

[girl]

Your post scared me so much I'm compeled to respond. First, I have to agree with Angel. If she supposedly loves you, why the heck is she going out with this other guy? Just to see if she really loves you? Seems like the better way of figuring that out would be to spend time with YOU. Secondly, if you're still in high school its pretty early to share the sort of exclusive love you're talking about. I'd be extremely suprised if neither of you has any interest in anyone else at all. Lastly, I really really really hope you're both not going to the same college just to be with each other. Picking a college is a big decision and if you two decide to go your separate ways (which is pretty likely once you get to college with lots of new people) then you may find yourself somwhere you don't like. People that marry their high school flames are pretty rare, and making up your mind about your life before you're even 18 is only setting yourself up for regret and missed opportunities.

[all4amy]

Well, damn... All I can say is, we're never going to understand the opposite sex. :rolleyes: But, don't hold onto her too hard for now. I can understand on her side where she wouldn't want to hurt the other guy, but if she "really" did love you, then she would give him up. Just keep yourself busy and your mind on other things cause the longer you think about her and the situation, the harder it'll be on you. One day she'll eventually come around, 'maybe', but that's something she has to decide on her own. You really can't be there to choose for her.

[insecurity]

I think her behaviour is despicable, pathetic even :splat:
I wonder how long it would take her to snap out of it, if you were to date someone else?:confused:

This is a good example of the phrase 'talk is cheap'.
You deserve better!

[Duh Blonde]

I hesitated before posting a reply to this because well, this really hit home with me. I was in a similar situation.

I was with this guy for over 2 years and we had some problems and we broke up. After being broke up for 8 months i still loved this guy. I didn't look for anyone else because I knew I loved him and that never stopped.

He dated other women all the time. All kinds of women. Yet we still talked and were trying to work things out, yet he was dating different women in this time period too. He would always come back to me though saying he loved me and regreted hurting me and that he wanted what we had back again.

There were nights I stayed awake crying thinking of him, while he was out doing god knows what with girls he had met during this 8 months. To me things couldnt get any worse. I didn't think I could hurt any worse than I was at that time. Well I was so wrong.

Come to find out, that one night that i lay in bed crying myself to sleep, he was out screwing some girl and well, 3 months later I find out that she is pregnant by him. Now keep in mind through all this there was never over 2 nights that went by that we didn't talk and he didn't say he still loved me.

I was hurt and I was angry and I felt so many different things. I felt I had wasted all that time, loving him and still being faithful even though we had broke up. All the nights I had cried and been alone. All because he said he still loved me and we would be together again.

Even after this happened he STILL wanted to be with me. He wanted me to help raise his child because the girl was young and she didn't want the baby. She didn't want anything to do with having a child. I would have. I loved him. But look what he did to me? I couldn't let myself do it. I had to realize that if he loved me even 1 third as much as I loved him he would'nt be able to sleep with anyone else or even touch anyone in that way. He wouldn't have been out doing those things and spending time with someone else while I lay home crying missing him. I really almost went over the edge when this happened. I found myself not even wanting to wake the next morning. Not ever wanting to trust again.

I don't want to see this happen to ANYONE else. It hurts and its a hurt that you don't ever really get over. But you can keep things from getting to this point.

Sit down and talk to her. Tell her that you cant handle the hurt its causing and that if she loves you then BE WITH YOU and stop making you hurt even more. And I know how it feels. I use to sit and wonder if he told them he loved them. Did he kiss them? Did he talk to them the way he did to me? Don't let things go any further. Even though I don't know any of you people that I talk with on this forum, I don't want to see anyone go through what I did.

Stop it now. Look out for yourself and protect whats left of your feelings and your heart. If she loves you she wont be in someone elses arms. She can't have both. If she loves you she will go to the end of the earth for you and she wont want to cause you pain.

I'm sorry this is so long and I'm sorry to everyone that reads this for adding my own story to this discussion. It just really hit home with me. I hope nothing I said offended you or anyone here. :bawling:

[all4amy]

Wow, Duh Blonde, I read your story and just wanted to let you know that I'm glad you're slowly moving on and PLEASE STAY STRONG...

[jurupa]

Blonde my sugestion would be to just go out and enjoy life and forget about dating for a long time. Basically get to know your self better and improve your self in all areas ( not just looks)