Pendleton
10-26-2002, 09:41 PM
Ok so for those of you who read my old thread (Messed-up situation) this relates to Pam.
So I'm in college, and Pam is this girl in one of my classes. It's a language class, so it's fairly small and there's a lot of pair and group work, so lots of talking to your classmates. Great breeding ground for relationships and friendships.
Anyways I like this girl in the class and have been doing most of my pair work with her and sitting next to her in class and recently for our midterm oral exam (done in pairs) we went together. We studied before the exam, and that time really didn't feel like an hour and a half of studying - it seemed like we had a good rapport.
So after the exam (Wednesday) we talked and I asked her if she'd "like to have dinner some time this week". I asked it right as we were going to part ways, so that if she said no, it wouldn't be super-awkward. She said she was busy this week, but maybe next week.
This is where my problem lies... I know she is a busy person (as am I, but my time commitments are more flexible) and works most evenings, but I also know that "I'm busy this week" is a common polite way of turning someone down.
After the written exam (Friday) we walked together for a while again and we talked, but I didn't bring it up again.
So my real question is: what should I do now? The class is Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I'll be seeing her Monday, which is technically a part of the "next week" she said might work. Should I try to bring it up again, or should I wait for her to let me know an appropriate time? I don't want to make things really awkward between us, because it is a small class and we still have several weeks of class left. Especially: is there a tactful way to bring this sort of thing up? I still have no idea whether she's actually interested but too busy, or just trying to use a plausible excuse to avoid it. Even if I knew that she wasn't interested, that would be much more of a relief than this continuation of not knowing.
Answers from females or "experienced" males will be greatly appreciated. Reasonable requests for more information are welcome too.
Thanks,
Pendleton (proud of himself for finally taking a risk, confused at the results)
So I'm in college, and Pam is this girl in one of my classes. It's a language class, so it's fairly small and there's a lot of pair and group work, so lots of talking to your classmates. Great breeding ground for relationships and friendships.
Anyways I like this girl in the class and have been doing most of my pair work with her and sitting next to her in class and recently for our midterm oral exam (done in pairs) we went together. We studied before the exam, and that time really didn't feel like an hour and a half of studying - it seemed like we had a good rapport.
So after the exam (Wednesday) we talked and I asked her if she'd "like to have dinner some time this week". I asked it right as we were going to part ways, so that if she said no, it wouldn't be super-awkward. She said she was busy this week, but maybe next week.
This is where my problem lies... I know she is a busy person (as am I, but my time commitments are more flexible) and works most evenings, but I also know that "I'm busy this week" is a common polite way of turning someone down.
After the written exam (Friday) we walked together for a while again and we talked, but I didn't bring it up again.
So my real question is: what should I do now? The class is Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I'll be seeing her Monday, which is technically a part of the "next week" she said might work. Should I try to bring it up again, or should I wait for her to let me know an appropriate time? I don't want to make things really awkward between us, because it is a small class and we still have several weeks of class left. Especially: is there a tactful way to bring this sort of thing up? I still have no idea whether she's actually interested but too busy, or just trying to use a plausible excuse to avoid it. Even if I knew that she wasn't interested, that would be much more of a relief than this continuation of not knowing.
Answers from females or "experienced" males will be greatly appreciated. Reasonable requests for more information are welcome too.
Thanks,
Pendleton (proud of himself for finally taking a risk, confused at the results)