Is it love or lust?

[ninja2dope]

Well...I was going out with this girl and things fell through. Now I ended up with her 28 year old sister who has a 4 year old daughter. The issue is that we have had sex a couple times and she knows that I want to be with her but she says she don't know if she is ready for a relationship yet. Now....she is very honest so I actually do believe what she says. My question is she shows an intrest when I call her and we hang out but other times she is off every weekend with her friends and sometimes never returns calls.I understand she is busy but what should I do?

[Duh Blonde]

Well in situations like this, unfortunately all you can do is make the decision to wait and see what happens and how things go, or talk to her about things and tell her how you are feeling. Sometimes, especially women who had bad relationships previously, just want time to enjoy things and find themselves so to speek. It seems like she enjoys being with you from what you wrote and that the two of you get a long good. Maybe she just wants time to take things slow as far as commitment goes. I feel that if she only wanted sex, and if she is honest, that she would just come out and tell you that she only wanted to be friends and nothing more. Each woman is different in that way. I think i read that she had a 4 year old daughter as well? That probably keeps her pretty busy and things in itself. I wouldnt worry if every now and then she didn't return a call and such. But if it changes and it becomes something that happens a lot and more frequent I would definately try and talk with her and tell her that you care for her and want to make sure that everythings ok or if she needs to talk about anything.

[ninja2dope]

Well...I called her today and I got "I don't think I can do what we did the other night anymore." I was speachless......I think she is "dumping" me in a way. Now I've been a mess. I dont understand any of it. She has told me that she knows if we get incolved in a relationship that I would be great for her, she said she knows I really care about her....but she says she don't know if she is ready for that. Now I get her sayin she don't know if we can do what again? I don't know if she ment sex or hanging out at all. How do I get her back?:bawling:

[Duh Blonde]

I'm sorry to hear that. I think that maybe she meant that things are going too fast too soon. I think the best thing that you can do is just be there for her as a friend but don't try to press for anything else right now. If you really care for her just talk to her about things and tell her that she knows how you feel and that you just want to be there for her and be a friend right now and spend time with her every now and then as friends that way she wont feel like she is being pressured into anything. Try that and see how things go.

[Datboyd]

I've been there. I had to understand that she will be what she is and she will do what makes her happy. Stick by her, but not too close. Be the best friend you can be and hopefully things will turn out in your favor. You may also want to talk with her about why things changed so sudden because it seems like you are kinda in the dark about that.