Iam so upset!!

[purplepassion30]

Hi,
I posted awhile back...Things are not going so good for me...My male friend still insists his plans on marrying this younger gal...Something just isn't right about this and I have no idea what...I can not understand how anyone can say they are marrying someone they have met one time,esp when they don't know their last name.She is either pregnant,he is nuts over being her first(if its true)or heck I don't know...I don't want to tell someone that they can't love or marry someone they want to but I care for him...Im so confused!!He told me if he came to see me it would be like he was being unfaithful to her...He also said if he came to see me and we didn't hit it off he wouldn't have me or her...I can't make him understand he is making a big mistake...I guess he will live and learn...

[Stephanie]

Purple you can’t make someone believe what they don't want to. Telling him marrying her is a mistake would probably make him unsure of your friendship. Friends are suppose to be supporting in any situation (I’m not saying your not a friend). If you push the subject to much you may make him feel as if you are against him and in the future if it doesn't work he would not be able to turn to you in fear of hearing I told you so. How old is he? Because if he is really young then it may be something he will realize he isn't ready for before he actually does get married.

[purplepassion30]

Stephanie,
He is 29...I am led to believe he is marrying her because he feels sorry for her...If he denies her marriage he thinks he is letting her down..Why I say he feel sorry for her is,she is a heavy person...Im sorry if that offends anyone its the truth...

[angel143ml]

:angel6:

Purple,
Are you sure that maybe whats really bugging isn't the fact that he asked her to marry him and not you? How much she weighs I don't think is really the issue here, but more of a way to cover up the fact that maybe you're hurt that he didn't ask you? In what way are you led to believe that he is marrying her cause he feels sorry for her? Did he say so?, or are you coming to that conclusion on your own? You can't make another human being do what you want them to just because you want them to.
However frustrating it may be, it's his life and his choice to make, all you can do is be his friend and hope for the best. :p ;)

:angel6:

What's meant to be, will be!

[purplepassion30]

Hi Angel,
Whats botherin me is we hit it off,was getting to know each other well,enjoyed each other then he suddenly changes his mind about us...Im hurt,Im miserable because I was never given a chance..I feel he was pressured into marrying her by her and her parents..I think he believes if he denys her after telling her he had no prob marrying her it will make her feel bad coz she is heavy..Im not sure but am willing to say that since this gal knew about me she thought she had to do something to prevent me from having a chance.I feel thats why she told him she had no prob marrying him..

[angel143ml]

:angel6:

Hi Purplepassion30,

I still don't think the weight issue of the girl is the real problem, just a way for you to cover up the way your feeling. Admit it, I think that even if she were skinny, it wouldn't really make a difference to you, would it? The real issue here is the fact that he has asked this other girl to marry him, and you are hurt because of the fact that you were starting to care for him and maybe even love him. :confused: Instead of focusing on her, why not deal with the real issue, your feelings for him, and how your feeling let down, and hurt by what he has done. Have you asked him what happened to make him pull away from you like he did? Who was he seeing first, you or her? And last why he asked her to marry him, instead of you?, and make him tell you the truth, no wishy washy answers. GOOD LUCK!

Angel143ml

:angel6: