i don't know the meaning of this...i need a little help

[xhikari]

a year ago...i kinda got interested in this girl in my college.....i wanted to get to know her badly and well when my friend helped me askin her whether she was goin out with someone or not...she said no....and so on valentine's day when i wanted to give her a card....she came to college crying...her boyfriend cheated on her...a firsst clue saying she is a fickled minded one....i still went on for her though despite the warnings my friends gave me......i got to know her.....became rather close to her....not too close though and things seemed rather positive on my side....it "seemed" so.....until one day out of nowhere she drops a bombshell by writing a love letter to another guy.....and there's where i just told her that i do like her.....and she asked me why didn't i tell her earlier and stuffs like tat.....so well i had nothing much of a choice but to just move on thinkin i lost to a better guy until the day i saw him.....i don't know how to explain it.....but i swear on my life tat i am a much better man than he is......so i stopped speakin to her..... pletely.
so well after months.....lotssa months.....she started contacting me back and spoke like normal friends and one day she asked me if i was goin out with anyone or not......well....i had to admit tat i am a little pride-centered here...so i said "don't know..",i didn't wanna say "no" and "yes".....so she stopped callin me.......later on i heard tat she broke off with tat guy.......and then again....she said she is with tat guy to another friend of mine.....fine........i didn't care and never asked about it.....i just went on normal and tried to get her back....i love her...i still do love her despite whatever she has done to me......she reacted well....though i never told her my feelings yet at current....we spoke several times on the phone and even went out a few times.....and she sounded very very positive on the phone......her words and her actions often give away great chances.....and suddenly today i called her......she just didn't speak so much....and just ended the call saying she wanted to sleep.......i fell like an idiot......i had so many other chances only to throw them away for a girl so fickle minded as her....and i do not know what is goin on......can someone just give a little hand here.....a word or two can make me feel better. thanx a bunch.

[bryan]

I think you need to move on man. You're wasting your time on someone who obviously doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

My advice is to learn to not care as much. Perhaps easier said than done. But seriously, I was in the same situation not too long ago. I thought I was "in love" with this girl I worked with, but it became pretty obvious I was not going to get anywhere with her. When I thought about it, I realized that relationships are all about confidence (didn't really think about it too much... it's common sense). When we get into relationships with other people, it's because we are trying to boost our self-image/worth.

Alright, so obviously you want to be in a relationship with this chick because she's attractive or whatever. Now, what are you going to offer her in return? If you're like me and do not carry the Hasselhoff gene, then you have to offer another characteristic to her to match what she feels she would offer you. Like personality, confidence, or money.

I realized that I was letting girls consume me too much, which was basically a confidence issue. I figured if I was able to not care about women so much perhaps that would solve a part of the confidence problem. And as I continue to work on my confidence, as well as other aspects of my personality, I find that women are becoming more willing to talk (and sometimes flirt) with me.

Like I said, this is easier said than done. But if you're not willing to improve yourself, how could you be willing to improve the life of someone else?

[bryan]

Just wanted to add to this... ladies are welcome to add/correct me.

But I think that these are the things that women are willing to trade for attractiveness:

1. Personality
Ranging from mature to comedian. You'll just have to figure out what she wants and work on it if you can.

2. Protection
If somebody was robbing her house, would you be able to chase off the intruders or would you call the police and lock the door? Sure, some of degree of protection comes with physical strength, but a lot of it is mental strength, like not being afraid to stand up for yourself or for those you care about.

3. Ability to Provide
Money, basically. But also attention falls here.

4. Status
Probably not the best reason, but a good one. She'd probably be more able to look past your average to below-average looks if it meant she'd be more important (perhaps even famous) and ultimately more desirable in the future.

There's probably some more, but that's what I can come up with. But you guys can tell me if I'm wrong.

Oh yeah... Just wanted to add that i'm not saying you're an ugly guy or anything.

[angel143ml]

:angel6:

ALL BUT NUMBER FOUR ARE DEFINIATELY ON MY LIST. NUMBER FOUR IS NOT A REQUIREMENT, AND AS FAR AS LOOKS GO,
"WHAT'S HOT LOOKING TO ONE PERSON, WON'T NECESSARILY BE HOT LOOKING TO ANOTHER, BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER", WHICH IS WHY EVERYONE OF US LOOK DIFFERENT, EXCEPTIONS BEING : TWINS, TRIPLETS, ETC.

:angel6:

SOUNDS LIKE SHE IS PLAYING MIND GAMES WITH YOU. UNFORTUNATELY, SOME LIKE TO PLAY GAMES WITH GUYS, I DON'T PERSONALLY PLAY THEM, BUT, I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS WITH GIRLS WHO HAVE. I THINK THAT ONE SHOULD BE HONEST AND UPFRONT WITH OTHERS. SO, I WOULD SAY, FIND SOMEONE WHO'LL TREAT YOU BETTER, YOU DESERVE IT!

:angel6: