What to do next??

[Shazam]

I've been after this one girl for a few months now, but I've known her about 2 years, but just recently felt attracted to her, and just before going about asking her for a date, she mentions "a boyfriend"...the guy works out of town for approx. 2 3 weeks, and is in town for 1 week, and works on his car during that week. While he's gone, we've done a few things like play tennis, and watch movies, etc...

I need ideas on getting her more interested in me than him since, as far as I'm concerned, live near her, and am more stable!! I had thought of asking her friend (whom I know well) what she thinks my chances are with her, knowing very well, that she would tell her that I had asked, seeing that a couple of weeks ago, I went to see her (the one I'm after) at work, and ended up spending the day because she was bored, and half an hour later, her friend asked me questions about the day, knowing that they had already talked about my being there!! I think if I get that out in the open, it might work in my favour...

I have no idea what I can do next...she's a really nice girl, who's been hurt in the past, and she keeps going for the same type of guys, and she deserves to be treated better.

You all might think I'm being a jerk for trying to steal another guy's girl, but I've had it happen to me by friends, and I've only met the guy once, so what's the harm??

[ticklesuzy]

Are the two of them exclusive to one another yet??
If not you are not stealing anyone!!!!
I think it sounds like you are already friends and as they say you should be friends first. Ask her out and don't play games with your mutual friend in the middle, That's just stress waiting to happen. Just go for it!!!!!!

[Shazam]

I'm not sure if they are exclusive, but from my observations, she's really exclusive to him, in fact, she was worried that her sister was after him. I did speak to her friend about her, and she had mentioned that she's necer seen her so much into anyone, but her friend thinks that the guy is a player, and that it won't last more than 6 months. I just wanted to ask her friend what she thought my chances were with her.

I had seen her at the bar last Sat. night, and we sat, talked, laughed...the usual!! I had gotten home , and was feeling somewhat "good" if you know what I mean, and seen her friend on ICQ, and sent a message that I needed to talk to her, she asked "What about?", and I said "Kristal", she called me right away, and we talked for over an hour. When I picked up, she said "I knew it!!"...Anyways, I don't know if she was only being nice, but she told me that she would rather see her going out with me instead of the other guy, and that her and 1 of her co-workers think that the 2 of us would make a cute couple. She said that she'd have a talk with her, and find out what's going on, because we were hanging out, and then, she was kind of ignoring me, but this was before the bar...so it's almost like she's confused, and doesn't know what she wants.

I did ask her out, usually to do something fun, like tennis, or miniature golf, but it's never considered a "date" but when I mentioned that I wouldn't mind going to see the new Vin Diesel movie, she said, "I would rather go see it with Bobby", but my intentions were to go with a "friend", not as a date, but the next day, her friend called me, and said that herself, her GF, and the one I like were going to see the movie, and that I was welcome to go with them, to which I replied, "I'd like to, but I already made plans to go with someone else"...kind of a "fake" date-type thing, hoping that it would get to her, and maybe she'd get "jealous" seeing that she's not the only one I'm persuing.

I would have to agree that I'm not stealing her from him, I just need ideas on what I could do, that would make me seem more attractive in her eyes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an ugly guy, at least I think so, I have a good, stable job, and I'm in the process of buying a house, which is why I'm living with my parents at the moment...to save some $$$. I'm fit since I work out at the gym every day...and I've been single for about 3 years because I needed to get rid of some emotional baggage before starting anything with anyone.

So anyways, all this to say that I have no idea where I stand with her, who knows how the female mind works?!? Like I mentioned before, we've done a lot of fun things together, but I guess she just prefers the company of this Bobby guy, and gives him her undivided attention by watching "Crocodile Hunter" with him, and then he leaves to go work on his car, then leaves town to go work for 3 weeks at a time, leaving to wonder when he'll call, and/or if he's got another woman on the side, to which, in my opinion, any "single" guy, working out of town for long periods of time, has to go out on his day off, and is most definitely "playing" a few woman...I know a few friends that are married, that work out of town, and have a GF on the side.

[meg]

she said, "I would rather go see it with Bobby"

That could have been a subtle hint that she wants to be with this guy. That she has no interest in someone else.

Or this could mean she is frustrated with him being gone all the time.

Keep being her friend if you want her. My suggestion is, not to pressure her for more right now. Meg

[ticklesuzy]

I think it seems that she is currently got her eye on him--whether or not he's "THE ONE" . It sounds like she considers you a close friend and is comfortable with you. That's good, the other guy doesn't act like he's commited at all and she hopefully won't give him too much time.

One thing to be impressed by is that she doesn't seem to be "a player". That is a good thing to know isn't it? She has made a commitment to him (even if he hasn't returned it).

So if you two were to become an item you know she's faithful. I think you have to wait for her now. You let your feelings be known and since she does have the other guy you'll just have to
wait for her to be ready for you. I would still do the friend thing and show her what she's missing. :rainbow: