Hurting and worried, what can I do?

[Jaxon]

Hey there, My name is Jaxon, named after my father. Any ways, boy oh boy, just when
you think you got your head screwed on right....KABOOM!!!!!...you find out your not
so tightly wound after all. Let me explain. I've been dating Kendra for 17 months now.
She is 19 and I am 22 next month. I am crazy about her, and as far as what I can tell you about
love (which isn't a whole lot, I'm learning) I do love her. You know, my Dad always
told me, "son, your only as good as your word, and your word is only as good as your actions". Well
I havn't been completely honest to Kendra, and now it's gonna pretty much kill me and probably .
rip her heart out. I really need some advice on how to tackle my serious problem.

I'm a Systems Anaylist for a large Insurance Company. I make good cash for a young guy my age.
I also spend a fair bit of time in the gym before work and have that lean cut swimmer's body.
To make a long story short, as a half joke I applied for an addition for a male go-go dancer.
I have some salsa blood in me, well...I can shake my bonga. So I sent a tape in, fully clothed,
not really knowing what to expect, but kind of curious. I mean there are thousands of men and
women who take good care of their bodies and look terrific for it, so I didn't really expect much. Well,
I got a call at home asking if I would come downtown for an audition. I was ecstatic and nervous,
but extremely curious, so I went. Well, I danced in a 7x5 cage for them in some "hot shorts". I liked
it and so did they, it was a natural fit for me. I was just grooving to the beat, getting a real
good workout, and people paid attention to me. Why wouldn't I like it?I really thought I could do this once a week
and totally hide it from Kendra. Well, the club was basically a stripper bar for men but changed
to "male strippers only" on Thursdays. I danced in a cage with yellow "hot shorts" while the main attractions
danced on stage, I never took my shorts off, NEVER. My problem however was when my girlfriends Mother
of all people attended the bar with her office staff and recognized me. She waited for me. As I
stepped out of the cage she pulled me into a corner and asked me, "Does Kendra Know about you?" I replied
"No". I was so embarrassed. I came back from break thinking she was gone home to tell Kendra, NOPE!!!!
She sat there and cheered me on. For the next 35 minutes she gawked and cheered me on. After when I came
out of the cage, she tipped me a $20 bill, tucked very neatly infront of my shorts. Her finger prints where
all over my boys. She kissed me on the cheeck and said "goodnight Jax". I was like a deer caught in headlights,
completely stunned.

I couldn't sleep all that night. What do I do? Holy crap, do I unnecessarily tell Kendra about my
night job or just let sleeping dogs lie? I was pretty scared and nervous, feeling guilty, I went over to see
Kendra. She was cleaning the pool, I helped, etc.....we made lunch, everything was cool until her Mom
asked me to get the spare garbage bags down from the shelf in the laundry room. I went, and stood on the ladder
and retrieved her garbage bags for her and she whispered, "mmmmmmmmmm, them some tight buns Jax" and
then slapped them. Holy crap, you can't so this I thought. There was an awkward silence, then she jokingly
said, "oh I'm just kidding, Jax, relax" and proceeded to hug me and gently squeeze my boys and whisper, "niiiiiice"
I told her I should be getting back and quickly went to the washroom and stayed there till I softened up
a bit. Man, this is crazy. I don't hardly go over any more and it's stressing my relationship with Kendra.

If i come clean I risk loosing her, totally destroying her relationship with her mother, probably
for life. I mean, children are always going to need their parents in one form or another. Whether
it be financally or moral support. I hate this. I wish it was all just a a bad dream. I quit my night
job, but I really miss it. That's not the issue. How do I deal with this touchy situation?

Jaxon

[Karbonopsinos]

Well, you certainly have a major problem and it's pretty unique. It's a lesson in life not to do things that are unseemly or damaging your dignity. You may have found the night job very fun, and it probably was, but such behavior leads to these sort of problems.

First, I have to say your girlfriend's mother must be some kind of pervert. Is she still even married? Grabbing you genitals and buttocks is something reserved to yourself and to your sexual partner. It seems to me that she may take it further, of course in a "joking" way.

Of course, right now, she holds a Sword of Damocles over your head, and will soon begin blackmailing you that she will reveal the secret to your girlfriend if you don't comply, or something similar my be implied if not explicitly said.

What you need to do now is first go to the mother, and sit down for a little talk. Tell her that you are not attracted to her in a sexual way, that you love her daughter and that it is she who is the only one that is entitled to make sexual advances, and that she (mother) is not to touch you again in any sexual way or make any suggestions of the kind or you will reveal all to her daughter, and their relationship will be ruined. Also let her know that you will forgive her for such behavior and that what had happened till then was not to be brought up ever again.

Next, I would make sure your girlfriend is right nearby, so when the talk with the mom is over, you can right away talk to your girlfriend. You don't want any time to elapse or the mother might try to pull some funny business, like that you had sexually harassed her/attempted rape/blablabla. Be honest. Tell your girlfriend what happened, that you regret it, and that you want her to have trust in you again.

Actually, I'm not sure what order is best, maybe you could tell the girlfriend first, and then the mother. You're a smart guy, so I'm sure you can decide for yourself.

[Jaxon]

Thanks for responding, I do appreciate it. First of all, how in the world do you pronounce your handle?

carbon-op-sinos.........what does it mean?

Kendra's mother is a 34 yr old widower. She was born and raised in the West Indies, and apparently they have children qiut young over there. Her husband passed away 2 years ago in an automobile accident.

The thing is this. I know what ultimately needs to be done. Do you at all think it is possible to get this done without telling Kendra? I do believe Kendra can forgive and get by the go-go dancing escapade but I can't see how she could ever forgive/believe??? her mother for acting this way towards me.

I replay how the conversation would play out in my mind and no matter how it plays out, Kendra always disowns her mother and ultimately and justifyably lays the blame toward me.

I can't see talking to the mother with Kendra listening in or even close by. That's lighting a fuse at both ends of your tunnel. Kendra's working Thursday night, I'll drop by after work and tell her it needs to stop or I'll have to stop seeing Kendra because to me it just doesn't make sense telling Kendra that her only parent is not being loyal with her. That's not my place to say. Hopefully she'll see my sincerity in all of this.

Jaxon

[MyMatt2003]

Why not just tell Kendra what you do? and keep the mother thing between you and the mother.. mean while you tell the mother how you feel and how uncomfortable it is for her touching you? I believe, if you let Kendra find out your night job on her own... it's just going to make things worse.
I believe honesty is key here and by hiding it and letting Kendra find out what you do, is only going to add to the problem. I know your worried about losing your girl over this, but your girlfriend will love you for who you are and not what you are and by being honest and telling her this, it will show her that you truly love her. This way the mother has nothing on you and just incase for some sick reason she decides to bring up the touching issue with your girl.. You can say
"I didn't want to ruin your relationship with your mom and we already discussed this that I was uncomfortable by the way she touches me, etc etc.."
But I don't think any mother in their right mind would bring that up with their daughter and possibly risking their relationship between the mother and the daughter.

I hoped I helped a little.. ;)

Good Luck :)

[Karbonopsinos]

Yes, I agree. First address Kendra and be 100% honest. She will respect you for your honesty. You made a mistake...but you didn't go out and cheat on her.

Then settle it with the mother and tell her never to touch you again.

Don't say anything about you having SAID that to Kendra.

If the mom wants to be a b!tch and pull a fast one on you for not sexually gratifying her, Kendra will just ask her own mother how SHE knows about the whole thing.

Then the mom is in thick sauce.

[Jaxon]

MyMatt2003, good call. The more I think about it, the more I agree, the mother issue does not need to be discussed any further with anybody else but Kendra's mother and myself.

As for Kendra, I will talk to her this week-end and tell all about my experience with the go-go cage. I'm not too worried about the job, just the dishonesty on my part.

I guess, I'm speaking to Kendra's mom tonight as Kendra just e-mailed me to give her mother a hand tonight with a new piece of furniture they just bought. Jeepers man, this is going to be tuff. I really DO NOT want to do this.

Jaxon

[meg]

The situation you are in is not unique, unfortunately.

It does need to be solved and immediately. You have to talk to her mother one on one and in a public place. She could ruin your relationship at any moment. You need to figure out if she is joking or being serious. If she is being serious, she may try to sleep with you. If she is joking, bad sense of humor. She could be trying to feel you out and see if you can be trusted. Remember,
at any point in your life with her daughter, she can come back and tell her. Meg

[Jaxon]

Well, origonally I was going to speak to Kendra's mother on Wed night because I needed to help move some new furniture the family just bought, but, I got paged into work.

So last night I dropped on by around 8pm (kendra's done work at 9pm). We went into the kitchen to get something to drink. I turned to her and said

"Kenesha, I no longer go-go dance. I just don't do those things anymore" Before I could say anymore she interupted and said "ohhhhhhh........Jaxon, your so good at it honey, come here and give me a little bit of that go-go sugar".

I stopped and said "you see this is what i'm talking about, I'm flattered you thought I was good, but this....this just isn't right, it's not good, it can't be right. I look at you like a mother figure "...............Oh oh, HUGE MISTAKE, that was not a good thing to say. Immediately the left hand was on the hip, her right hand was swaying the finger and the head was moving from east to west and I was getting a tongue lashing.

"is that all I appear to you boy, take a look at this body, this ain't no body of a mother, hell, half the teenage women population don't look as good as this", "take a good look at these breasts" and then she opened her blouse (her bra was still on) and check out these legs and you take a damn good look at this booty boy (turned and showed her curves). Well I've got a good mind to................... (Ok, I was getting a teenie bit hard, it's only natural, heck she was the one flashing her body parts at me, Iam human. It doesn't mean I want her or anything, it's just a natural reaction)

" Yeah I can see you noticing me boy, yeah I can see that, veerrry good Jax, very nice indeed, that's my boy"

Honestly before I knew it, in a matter of seconds, her lips where wrapped around my manhood. I don't no how it all happend. I really don't. By the time I got my bearings strait and clued into what was going on, she brought me to a very fast orgasm. Only then did i realize what i just did.

She said something like "you see sugar, this is all i really want etc......." I really don't know exactly what she said I wasn't really listening. I was lossed in the numbness of the situation. I just zipped up and slowly but shockingly made my way back to my truck. I feel absolutely sick to my stomach and actually, as I'm writting this, quite angry. ##$$%^&**$. I actually feel violated and manipulated. YES I kNOW......for all the critics out there, that I ultimately had the choice, but I 100% had no intentions at all about letting happen what ultimately did happen.

If i tell Kendra, then she kills me, kills her mother and her heart is shattered.

If i don't say a word, I would imagine this pain I'm feeling now is BIG TIME guilt, it would surely kill me.

.......and then the mother..............the $%%#^&& mother

hopless and shattered in the Carolina's

[jomi]

Man..I feel soo bad for you. First of all, you probably should not have gone there while your girlfriend was not there. The girls mother is very obviously a big PERVE. You just need to get your girlfriend alone and tell her everything. Maybe take her to a park or something. You two sit down together and tell her EVERYTHING. It's pretty sad that her mom is like that, and she will probably deny everything when she is confronted. But your girlfriend will appreciate you being honest with her. Hope it goes well.

[Karbonopsinos]

Oh my God, I was raped......NOT.

From a rather minor embarassing incident, this has become a moral catastrophe. But you're just as much to blame. It's you're body. You're the one with the muscles, you could have knocked that b!tch right to the floor the very moment she approached you....but no, you let your penis decide for you.

You didn't love your girlfriend enough mister. You may have liked her, you may have even really liked her, but you didn't love her. Someone who loves another person would never accept fellatio from their mother.

What I think is left for you is to abandon all hope of staying with Kendra. If you tell her, she'll probably dump you and disown her mother. If you don't tell her, you will DIE of guilt and you'll have a pervert for a girlfriend's mother (mother in law soon??)

So, I suggest you tell Kendra right away about EVERYTHING. Starting from the go-go dancing and ending with the blow job. Apologize profusely, and see the reaction. She might actually forgive you and disown her mother. She might also not forgive you and also disown her mother. In either case, think of HER and not YOU....you had enough fun sticking your penis in the mother's mouth. If you don't tell her (which is what the mother is hoping for), this will all end ultimately with you having full sex with the mother and that's unforgivable (heck, oral is atrocious too).

Btw, beware of a Potiphar's wife scenario.....Mother saya "Ah, so you won't have sex with me.....RAPE!, RAPE!, RAPE!"

Btw2, all of this is the result of your weakness in telling Kendra that you were dancing. It was a minor embarassment. She probably would have forgiven you, the result is a horror.

In any case, if you break up, find another girl with a NONPERVERT for a mother and don't cheat on her, especially with her mother ;); but in all honesty, I'm very sorry for you man, not so much that you did this, but that you, a very intelligent man, allowed your penis, a pathetic little reproductive organ, to overpower you mind, your heart, and your integrity.....sad...

[MyMatt2003]

Hey Jaxon, it's ok bro we are all human, we are men, We f*ck up up, every guy does and whoever doesn't is a liar.. We just can't let our d!cks think for us, as Karbon said.. I just suggest you tell Kendra everything. I know its hard, but its something that you have to do as a man, no matter how bad it seems. You can't live with the guilt, the past will come back to haunt you. Tell Kendra everything in a convient time, just tell her soon.

I wish you the best of luck :)

[ticklesuzy]

There are not too many women responding to this, but whew! this just is ...bad. I have to agree with all the advice so far, especially think about what you will have IF after you come clean with all of this and she does forgive you.
A horndog for a mother -in-law(not to marry you off but you know what I mean)
Picture her truly pissed off --not just up to the challenge of seducing her daughter's b/f.
Chances are that she has done it before regardless of whether or not Kendra actually knows, if Kendra doesn't know from past experience her mother could work her like a fiddle and you better take yourself out of that situation quick.
If she finds you hot now, AND your still around she will see you as further challenge and there will be absolutely no NO helping with furniture(probably a ruse to get you there) NO alone time for even one minute...how hard that would be in a long term relationship??!! I think if you had told Kendra about the dancing or even just invited her to see you it might have even been a turn on to her. but now? If she forgives you the fallout may still finish it off.

[Karbonopsinos]

I hate to hog this forum, but I think that if Kendra wants anything with you, she really has to cut off all contact with her mother when and if you guys ultimately get married.

Having such a pervert for a mother-in-law, and especially having her around you and your potential children, is a very scary prospect. But I think in any case, you MUST tell Kendra everything for her own safety.

Obviously the mother is horny after her husband's death and, as most perverts, has responded in a perverted way to a difficult situation that could happen to anyone. So, she'll probably be seducing any and every of Kendra's boyfriends/husband who are handsome and have a good physique (as you are, I assume Kendra is very attractive, so her other potential boyfriends would be similar in this respect). It's really in Kendra's interest to know what her mother is like to safeguard her own partner and her children in the future.

God only knows what such a pervert might do to children. Sexual perverts are often actually multidimensional. You may very well be dealing with someone who would also engage in incest and pedophilism if given the chance.

In any case, we all concur that you must tell Kendra ALL, NOW!!! And stay away from that f*cking b!tch if you know what's good for you.

[meg]

JEEZIES, JAXON!!!!! I said a "public place"

I'm absolutely ill with that mother! For the life of me, I can't understand how a mother could hurt her child in such away!

You have made some bad choices! You could have controlled your penis! You deserve to live with the guilt. The worst part, is your INNOCENT girlfriend is going to be the one hurt by all of this.
Normally, I would tell you to be honest with her. I really don't know at this point. However, I feel you should end the relationship. The Whacko Mother isn't going to go away.

The only other suggestion I can make is, call Jerry Springer!

[Jaxon]

Pretty tough week-end folks, real tough. I’m not really in the mood to tell the whole story and how it all played out, but what I can tell you is that Kendra and I talked last night. I told her that I haven’t been completely faithful and that I’m sorry (no mention of mother). I also told her that I really meant it. It ripped both of our hearts out, shattered dreams, lots of tears and a well deserved slap. At the end of it all, she asked me too leave but not before saying that “she could see how it could happen, but that she doesn’t understand how I could let this happen to us”. She needs time and space.

I have more to say, but............again, I really do not feel much like talking.

Jaxon

[Karbonopsinos]

Well, looks like that perverted b!tch of a mother got her way.

There's really nothing we can say. You're hurt, she's hurt, and this is all really sad.

Hopefully she will forgive you. In any case, its a lesson in life that if you love someone you have to fight for them no matter what, whether that means overcoming great difficulties or resisting great temptations....

[CarinaZorra7426]

Why does this feel like the prelude to a Jerry Springer or Jenny Jones show? All of the advice given to this guy was:

a) talk with the girlfirend FIRST
b) talk to the mother ONLY in a public place

Sorry dude but I have no respect for any "man" who lets his penis do his thinking for him. The second her hands reached out for your fly, you should have jumped back and ran (think RUN FORREST RUN!!). Besides all that I have a hard time believing that all this happened just the way you say - poor innocent baby - NOT!! Again, though it pains me to say it, I agree with Karbonopsinos. You have control over your body, it's yours and you should have pushed her off and left, but like a dog going after a b*@#$ in heat, you couldn't leave til it was over. Kendra deserves better - any woman does.

[MyMatt2003]

Why don't we cut Jaxon some slack?
I mean I agree with all of you guys.. Yeah he messed up he let his body do his thinkin for him.. I mean he messed up its over, and he can't do anything about it.. so lets cut Jaxon some slack, he made a mistake and now its over..

[meg]

Well, looks like that perverted b!tch of a mother got her way.

LMAO LMAO LMAO

[Nice Girl]

Cut the mother some slack!
Their is nothing perverted about an older woman touching a younger man (adult that is). Hey, he was swinging it in the club so what's the big deal.
Just joking!

Everybody here pretty much said it. You should have stoped her as soon as she reached out to touch you. Since you didn't, set her straight immediately. But before you do that, tell your girlfriend first of your 'hip shaking job'. That way you cover your behind should her mother threaten you.

Good luck!

[Karbonopsinos]

This is the Cleopatra scenario.

So Cleopatra starts slapping Mark Anthony.....one slap, two slaps, three slaps......slap, slap, slap....

But then he slaps her, she falls to the ground flat on her face, starts whimpering and b!tching.

I don't encourage domestic violence, but sometimes even men have to defend themselves from women, especially when he is being sexually assaulted.

J could have learned a little from ol' MA.

[Jaxon]

I aired my laundry on here, as dirty as it was but hey, that's all cool folks. I'll take the heat.

You know what, for all you women out there intent on burying me 6 feet under, seriously..................... .you have a completely different organ that will react completely different in a physically situation compared to ours. I guess what I'm saying is, it's pretty easy to sit back and judge a situation without having all the ingrediants at your disposal, thinking, well if it were me I could have done this?????????????. That's impossible. Your not a man. This by no means is an excuse, I WAS WRONG end of story. Look (I know women reading this will crucify me, especially the Karb) a male penis can get aroused with a weak North wind, even a South wind for that matter. It does not need any love or coaxing to get hard, and when it does, it only looks for one thing to hit and one thing only. Our love making comes from the rythem and the soul.

Now, I'm no woman, but I'll take a stab at this. Ladies, feel free to correct me. I'm taking an educated guess that a woman can not get all damp and moist with the turning of the wind. I'm also taking a guess at the fact that a man just cannot walk up to you and stick it in cold turkey. It just doesn't work like that for women. A man can.

I'm NOT rationalizing, just mixing in the missing ingrediants. We, men are ALOT more vunerable from zero to sixty than women. Where as once a women hits sixty (mph), well there just ain't no stopping them, now is there?

To the respondants who think I should tell Kendra about her mother........................ ..not yet, maybe never. Can't seem to think of anything positive that will come out of it.

The mother has e-mailed me, making sure I did not tell Kendra and asking why we broke up over it? Pretty crazy eh!!! She says anytime I feel like talking to page her or come on over.

I havn't called Kendra yet? Not too sure what to say. I'm not too sure if i'd take me back either. I guess it's not a question of love but rather......trust. Can she ever trust me again?

Jaxon

[Karbonopsinos]

While I agree with you that men can become aroused for no particular reason, that's no excuse.

I'm a guy and many times I've woken up with an erection in the morning, or even in physics class, looking at some formula I might just get spontaneously aroused.

Again, that's no excuse. It's called self control. Your penis is just a organ that will give you pleasure. You must use your mind (that is, make a wise decision) and your heart (that is, with one you love) to decide when and with whom to use that organ. The organ can't decide for you. If you let the organ decide everything, then you would have the right to rape any woman who aroused, or maybe even a girl, or an animal, etc.

Society has thrown out things like bestiality, pedophilia, and rape as immoral/unnatural behavior and it certainly is. Unfortunately, we have diverged farther away from the basic tenets of the three great monotheistic faiths that declare that premarital sex (fornication) and cheating (adultery) are immoral. Sorry, but I'll have to agree with that.

I'm not insulted by your assumption that I'm a woman because I don't condone receiving oral whenever I'm aroused; actually, I'm a bit worried that you would think that since it reveals a mentality that men are given free reign to sexual immorality just because they have more testosterone (=libido) yet women who do it are considered sluts and whores (and rightfully so).

[CarinaZorra7426]

You know, were I in Kendra's situation, I probably would be able to forgive recieving the oral from another woman - but never, never, never would I be able to forgive my man for letting my MOTHER blow him. There is no way you can justify what you have done. You were aroused by the thought of a woman wanting you sooooo much that she just dropped to her knees to blow you. Get over yourself and leave poor Kendra the hell alone. In the meantime you really need to do some deep soulsearching to figure out how this happened and why. There is just absolutely no excuse for a man (or a woman) to have done this with a relative of someone they supposedly love. It's called control - look it up in the dictionary because this is obviously not a word that is in your vocabulary.

[Jaxon]

Karb, don't look to deep into it buddy!!!.....I do not feel men can roam around freely in sexual mortality without any consequences nor do i feel there is a double standard taken here. Infact I don't recall saying like wise. I just fully explained the circumstances leading up to MY MISTAKE. I hope you caught that line Zorra. My mistake. I'll e-mail you the defination later.

I'm not running or blaming anybody else. I'll take it like a man. It's hard but I'll take it. Where'd you get the impression I'm full of myself? because I happen to like me, I like the man I've become. I'm proud of myself and I know my Dad would be proud of me too..................and yes I screwed up and I also hurt a very special person in the process. Does the world end now? Nope!!!!! It just keeps on going. I'll have to learn from this won't I?

As for Kendra, until she says your outta here, I'll be courting her. She just needs time to figure out her next move. I'll respect that and give her that.

So you can forgive your guy for cheating on you as long as it isn't somebody you know? It's still cheating isn't it? Isn't all about the heart, trust. Isn't that where the real pain comes from. Murder is murder regardless of who the victim is. Now look who's putting rules on the cheating game?

Jaxon

[Karbonopsinos]

In a way, you do have a point, cheating IS cheating.....and yet....incest is not the same thing as a random hook-up, if you know what I mean.

[meg]

( shakes head )

You wanted to see how far the mother would take it and you found out. If you didn't want her lips wrapped around your cock, you wouldn't have let her! But you will pay for your mistakes as we all do. You were curious. Remember curiousity killed the cat.

Now, for all of you men out there that think women don't become aroused easily...WRONG! We are capable of waking up and wanting it. We are capable of being horny for no reason!

Men have control. That is the biggest load of Bull Sh*t, I have ever heard. Meg

[Karbonopsinos]

You could always tell the mother not to approach you because you're really gay, have a secret lover, have AIDS, herpes, and syphylis, and your dick is soiled with crud from the night before, so blowing wouldn't be too wise.

;)

[meg]

Correction -- sheesh
Men have control. That is the biggest load of Bull Sh*t, I have ever heard. Meg

That should have said : Men have no control, that is the biggest load of Bull Sh*t, I have ever heard. Meg

[ticklesuzy]

The words that have been used repeatedly are "man" and "men"
as someone who works with teenagers I have come to the conclusion that adults--men and women--have acheived at LEAST one thing that kids have not yet...control...I'll trust you have figured out the definition. Anyway, yes it was a huge mistake, yes the world has kept spinning and yes I think I agree with you that telling Kendra about her mother could be a mistake. I didn't a first but I think that it is possible that regerdless of where you stand with her, she will not beleive you anyway and mom will turn it around on you.

It is more likely that you could be forgiven for this now since this is a new relationship. You know, first strike and all that. I do think that your "throwing in the unknown ingrediens" was rationalization--human nature--I also beleive your a basically good guy who has learned ahuge life lesson. I think this because you did own up to it and if you had not learned anything I think you would have gone back for the rest of Mom's cooking in the kitchen and told no one.

But boys (and girls) are the ones who have to worry about the wind blowin'--men stand there...or walk away.

You CHOOSE to stand there, don't make another mistake by blaming your penis--my guess is your brain is still bigger.

Even mom exercised control...she worked you quite well. Men aren't anymore vulnerable than women when it comes to desire. I am completely speculating on this but I'm guessing that mom is quite attractive for her age, flattering to you, relatively permiscuise(sp) and overpowering. I'm also guessing that not only has there not been other older women but maybe no one that has simply unzipped your fly and taken it from you ther on the spot. That was your turn on and your brain went out for coffee.

This is not male bashing or "quit your whinin'" talk, (I hope)
but you cannot have it both ways either your a boy and you get hard when the wind (and mom) blows or your a man and you think for yourself AND your penis.

[ticklesuzy]

I am too tired to keep going back to correct all my mistakes, sorry.:o :D :yawn:

I also started to say that desire is not any different for the sexes,
except that it is generally more obvious for males.

I do hope it all works out for the best.

[Jaxon]

I can live with that. You made some extremely acurate descriptions and points, but yet you know absolutely no one involved. Now that's pretty impresive. I obviously couldn't have said it better myself, infact I DIDN'T.

To Meg, my point still hasn't gotten across. Perhaps, it was my inability to put it all together on paper what I felt inside about the male penis thing, however, our girl "ticklesuzy", slamdunked this one in a very BIG way.

Thanks

Jaxon

[meg]

You could have walked away from it, Jaxon. That was the only point I was trying to make. Meg

[Jaxon]

We'll have to agree not to agree on this one Meg, but as for your point.............your absolutley correct!

Jaxon

[meg]

Now come on Jaxon, just which one of us keeps a better eye on the cowboys butts? ( laughing )

I just spent some time over in cheyenne Wy during Frontier Days...I'm telling you those cowboys have flat butts! laughs

[meg]

OMG -- I posted in the wrong place...How the heck did that happen... laughing. Gawd, I need more sleep!!!

[ticklesuzy]

Don't feel bad Meg I did that too AND strangely enough it was also about cowboys!?!?lolololol

what do ya think???

[ticklesuzy]

I'm glad I was on target....I guess, I mean it's hard to be glad about your impressions of someone else's troubles...but you know what I mean, right!?!?

Anyway........................ .:rainbow:

[Jaxon]

Well Kendra and I talked last week and both agreed to go for a drive this past Sunday afternoon (yesterday). It was a time to clear the air, reflect on our relationship, what had happened and our future intentons.

We both admitted how awkward it felt. I mean, we were comfortable enough with each other's company but then again, somehow we weren't. The drive was painful, almost every corner, concession, shoreline and field we passed, held some sort of memory with us. I know it's been said many times over, but you really do not EVER understand what you've got until it is not yours anymore. Amongst all the pain and hurt, there was a beauty in Kendra yesterday that was brighter than an early morning August sun. What's funny about that moment was, I coudn't even tell her, the embarrassment of what I had let come between us was too much.

At this time, Kendra can not get by the thought of another woman touching me. The dishonesty on my part has crushed her hope in the one man who was once her everything. Hearing that, ripped my heart out in a very big way . She needs to severe all ties, go to school, and if time intends for our paths to cross again, then that's something only time can do. The thought of her dating another man is sickening to me......although a reality. I just hope I do not have to witness it.

Life sucks for the time being, have to keep busy. You know what, sometimes I can't help think, what if I didn't tell her? It certainly couldn't be any worse than the way I feel now? Tough call...... Transfer is up for Virgina, I'm young, it might do me good for a few years.............who knows.

Yah the mother has e-mailed me three times, making sure I have not told Kendra about us. She alsom amde it quite clear that she's my biggest fan.

Jaxon

[ticklesuzy]

that sucks.

Maybe if you could find a way to express your feelings--not to "get her back" but to offer up honest that you want nothing back for...if that makes sense--maybe the future could be different. Just to let her know how you feel.

be thinkin' of you

[ticklesuzy]

that should be "honest-Y"

[MyMatt2003]

Just tell Kendra about the mother, she does it once, she is going to do it again..

[Stephanie]

I'm new to this thread, but have read all of it. I feel that you are a very intelligent person for realizing your mistakes and hope it all works out for you. However the bitch that I am I would have not told Kendra about her mom, but let the mother hang. Maybe she would of came clean on her own and not realized it until it was too late. As well as you she made a mistake she needs to deal with. To the rest of you he made a mistake and asked for advice. We seemed to give him more grief than anything. You can't fix your mistake but you can recover from it and help Kendra recover. I wish you the best man.

[meg]

Just remember, Jaxon...Her mother isn't going away and she can tell her at anytime.

Has Nice Girl finished that clone yet? ( laughs )

[Jaxon]

Meg, I think what your ultimately saying here is that for the strength and foundation of a possible future relationship with Kendra, I need to tell Kendra about her mother.

You know, I tend to agree with you 110%, I really do............but......that's a pretty tall order. I know if I do, things will go from absolutely horrible to a downright NIGHTMARE. I'm going to leave it alone, I won't do it. Kendra told me I was her everything and I let her down pretty hard. Imagine what her only living parent (mother) means to her. It would be truly devastating for everyone involved if it was mentioned. I don't think we all need to worry about reconcilation, she has made herself quite clear on her intentions. Besides, she holds the hammer now.

Thanks for your replys...................It's a real shame Adam ate that dang apple Eve gave him (laugh) (I need to laugh, I have to).......................

Hey Meg, no word on that clone as of yet. Must be having some architectural or wirring problems. You let her know, if she needs to punch in some stats for that cowboy clone, well I'd be more than happy to oblige, that's just downright southern hospitality.


Heard a Michael Jackson joke on the radio at the gym this morning. If your an a MJ fan do not read on.

How do you know when it's bed time at Michael Jackson's mansion?............when the big hand touches the little hand......

Jaxon

[meg]

nah! I wouldn't tell her either. I don't know if it is the right thing. I have always believed in honesty.

I have a friend that slept with his mother in law. He couldn't get away from the woman. She would show up at their house, when her daughter wasn't home. At first, he thought it all was real cool, couldn't believe the things the mother in law wanted to do, etc. When he would try to end it with her, she would threaten to tell her daughter. I fear the same for you, Jaxon. He only had one way out. He had to tell his wife the truth. They are still married, but there is no contact with the mother. Her parents are divorced now. She forgave him because it started when he was 19. She decided that he wasn't thinking with his brain. She hangs on that he never told her and let it continue to protect her.
They are happier now than they ever have been.

On the other hand. We had another friend, who slept with his mother in law. ( discussions with co workers are grand.....)
Anyway, he wasn't so lucky. She seen her mother as the injured party. She believed that the husband seduced her, took advantage of her. Her mother made it out to seem like if she didnt give him fellatio when he wanted it, he always threatened to tell her daughter. They attempted to press charges against the husband. He wasn't even allowed to see his children unsupervised for 3 months. Charges were dropped, he had no chance of getting custody of his children, and in the end, her mother slept with her new b/f. The daughter attempted suicide.

If I was to make any suggestion...I would suggest you walk away completely. I know that sounds so harsh. I know it's easier said than done. There are no easy answers. There are no quick fixes.
Meg

[Karbonopsinos]

I agree...cut it all off. There's no hope here.

[ticklesuzy]

I think mom will strike again and hopefully Kendra will find out, but I feel like there,s so much there that you either have to tell her and hope for forgiveness or move on. I obviously don't know Kendra, but I don't see forgiveness in the picture and I think your insights on the fact that her Mother is her only living parent (such as she is) are on target. I don't think I've ever said this but I think you should not tell her and go on with life.

AND STAY ARMS LENGTH AWAY & ZIPPED FROM ALL FUTURE G/F MOMS!!!!!!! :D