How can you get out of your mind....

[Karbonopsinos]

....someone to whom you are very much attracted?

I've been denying this for months, but there's no doubt about it, I am very attracted to this girl at college. We sort of have a connection, since both of our parents come from another country and we speak the same language. She is extremely beautiful.

Now, I'm really, REALLY, attracted to this girl physically, but I don't approve her way of life (i.e. she's kinda slutty and doesn't believe in my faith) so I'm wondering how to get her out of my mind. Any ideas?

OK, so here's some background.

1.) A few months ago, a mutual friend of ours asked her what she thought of a number of guys in our dorm. She shunned most, but, so he says, she paused for a moment and contemplated me, seeing that, she said, I was attractive, intelligent, and we came from the same culture.

3.) A few days ago, she was in some kind of show and she saw me in the second row of the auditorium. Next to me was a guy with his friend who happened to be a girl. Today she asks me "Did you go to the show with someone?" So I say "No, I came by myself." Then she says "but who was that girl next to you?" and I say "she was with the other guy next to her."

What does all of this mean, and how can I resist thinking of her, and the temptation to take anything further if she seems receptive?

[burned11]

Sounds like you have some issues of your own. So before you go judging other people before really knowing the whole situation, maybe you should take some of your own advice. Besides, I really would like to know where you got the woman and kid thing from. Do you know me?

[Karbonopsinos]

Listen, I'm not a fool. Even a mentally retarded child could see through your ruse. Stop the toying and get it into your head once and for all that what you are attempting

1.) Will not be successful, because he's rejecting you anyway.

2.) Is highly immoral. Homewrecking is not something your mother would be proud of.

burned11
AcmeLover

Location: Wisconsin
Online!
Crush
I noticed this hot guy at work (we don't work in the same department
thought). He came into the mailroom a couple of times so I was
interested in finding out more about him. Came to find out that he
was living with his girlfriend, they have a baby together and he
wasn't happy. I got up the nerve to write him a note saying to call
me. He did and things went great. He was thrilled at what I did and
thought it was so cool. We got together the next night for a few
drinks at my house. Nothing sexual happened. No kissing and no
sex. The only things was he gave me a back rub cuz I was fighting a
cold and my muscles ached. On that note, we've been saying hi to
each other at work and we did bump into each other at the bar once in
which we slow danced. I send him candy through the routing all the
time which he says thanks every time and says he really likes when I
do that. Sounds all good except for the girlfriend part right?
Well, now he's kicking her out. The last time I talked to him he
said she had half of her stuff packed and is on a waiting list for an
apartment. He says he's happy about that. So where does this leave
me? I'm wondering what steps I take now and how do I go about
letting him know that I'm head over heels for him. I came close to
telling him one time that I wised he didn't have a girlfriend but i
didn't. And now that came true. I'm hoping this means there is a
chance for us. But I'm uncertain at how to go about it. I'm
thinking that he is interested in me by what has happened and I want
him to know that I feel that way. Please help me.

[Gan]

Hey Karb,

Your best bet is to try to avoid her. I know that is a little rude / cruel / whatever, but each time you see her it will fuel this attraction. I'm not saying snob her though - if she's in the same room as you or approaches you then have a chat with her, just don't stick around too long during the conversation (if that's what you want). Eventually you should loose the urge to see her and hopefully you'll be ok. The opposite can happen though - the less you see her the more you'll want to see her. I think willpower plays an important role here.

-Gan

[Karbonopsinos]

Yeah, well today, at a public dinner, I totally snubbed her. I didn't say hi or even look at her. Then she said the "did you go alone" thing and it ended with my last response.

You know, at the same time, I want to avoid her, her magnificent beauty, her black hair and eyes, those long lashes, those full breasts, the pale skin, white as snow....OK, enough Snow White sappiness.....but then again, I want to be around her and talk to her about our homeland, and revel in our langauge, our music, etc.

The thing I don't get is how someone who is quite intelligent and warm and humorous can be so shallow when it comes to guys.....but then again, I DON'T want her, since, as far as I'm concerned, she's tarnished.

I know this sounds schizophrenic, but thanks anyway Gan. I suppose I really should avoid her....then I'll forget about her.

[MyMatt2003]

What is your culture Karb if you don't mind me asking?
and the avoiding thing, the best way I found out for me.. is that you outcast her out of your mind.. I pretended that they didn't exsist in my head.. I mean if they said Hi to me, I will simply wave or just acknowledge and walk on.. Nothing more, nothing less.. or if they try to talk, just go along and then excuse yourself.. I'm not saying this way works for everyone but it worked for me..

[Karbonopsinos]

I think that's sufficient ;)

[AlexAnt]

Another thing I find that works for me instead of avoidance is conditioning myself to find the beautiful woman ugly and despicable. This puts her "below" me in a way, such that I no longer admire her or anything about her. Once that's done, I can behave around her anyway I want to - I can even become her friend.

The mind can easily be led astray. It can even lead itself astray. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; by conditioning your "eye," you could make this woman as appealing as a 75 year-old leper if you wanted to. :)

Alex

[sugarbabe]

Originally posted by AlexAnt
itself[/i] astray. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; by conditioning your "eye," you could make this woman as appealing as a 75 year-old leper if you wanted to. :)

Alex

Good advice AlexAnt. I agree completely.

[Karbonopsinos]

Well, she does have a sharp nose. I can't decide whether its aquiline or banana. I guess I could harp on that. She's a bit too tall for my liking, even though she's shorter than me. She's three years older. She talks in a dialect different from mine, which I don't like at all. She likes rap, which I hate.

Basically, she dates trash and is attracted to trash. I was shocked when she was telling me how she and her boyfriend are good for each other because she is highly in demand by the college guys, and he is highly in demand by the college girls, so they match well. I was thinking, "excuse me?, those are your reasons for dating someone." But he later cheated on her and dumped her. So then I see her a week later with another "friend" which is none other than her next lover.

She also tried to convert religions so she could date and have sex with this one guy, but when she pressed him for sex, he refused because he was obviously more faithful than her, so she dumped him and became an atheist once again.

And not to sound racist, but it seems that her choice of guys is much more based on looks than character. For instance, she has dated only one white guy on campus, and at least five black guys. She also told her friends that she wanted to date this other guy because of his big muscles, so when word got around to him, he dissed her off.

Now, as you can see, this is a pretty pathetic creature, I just somehow have to get over her.....I think I may already be going in that direction.

[Gan]

There you go Karb's - you're already on the right track!! :D

-Gan