Just Friends

[sugarbabe]

This is a pretty long story, so I'm gonna try and make it short. I met a guy a few months ago through a guy friend of mine, and I've been hanging out with them quite a bit this summer. We are both 19 yrs old. "Eric" has given me the impression that he likes me, by saying I attract him, doing his hair spiky if I say I like it that way, and obvious things like that. We've spent a lot of time talking together and hanging out, and my friends are convinced he likes me. I was also convinced. Apparently this is not the case.

He was over yesterday and he told me that he knows i liked him or do like him, and I said I do, and how do you feel about this...to which he replied that he really likes me as a great friend. He said he loves talking with me, and he said he doesn't want me to think that he doesn't want to see me because he really does. I guess I don't understand why he wants to stay close to me as just a friend. Furthermore, he asked why I don't ask him to hang out with him any more (it's been a couple weeks since I last spoke with him,) and commented on how I haven't been to his friend's house in awhile.

I guess I don't understand why he wants to waste his time on a girl he only sees as a friend. Furthermore, the clues he gave me were weird...perhaps he was just messing with my mind for the sheer fun of it?

[Gan]

Your situation sounds somewhat similar to what I've been going through the last few months with a girl I know! I know how you feel, especially when you get jerked around thinking something is going to happen and it doesn't.

I'd like to put this to you - just because he only likes you as a friend currently doesn't mean he won't ever like you as more in the future. Maybe he's afraid to take the relationship you two have further? Maybe he doesn't want to ruin what you have together?

There's the other side of the coin too though - maybe he's just using you as practice until he meets someone he really likes. Personally, I hate it when people do that to me - it makes me feel cheated and worthless, especially when you put a lot of time and effort in to please someone. I don't think he's doing that though, especially since you've known him for a while, in addition to the fact that he values your friendship.

I say continue to hang with him if you like him and who knows, maybe he'll change his mind in time. Just don't get too tied up with him, because you'll develop stronger feelings for him and it may be difficult for you to stay "just friends". It sounds to me that he likes you because he's so tied up in getting you to go places and hang with him all the time. Friends do that too, but not to the same scale.

Oh, and remember - keep your eyes out for other people while you like this guy, you may find someone ever nicer who actually wants to be with you!!

-Gan

[meg]

I believe friendship is the foundation of a good relationship.
During the friendship, you're able to discover what the person is about and establish trust. Wouldn't it be much easier to be in a relationship with someone you know on a friendship level, instead of jumping into one with someone you have no knowledge of and find out later what a creep they are?

Don't use people to get to know someone or be able to hang out with someone. That isn't fair to all involved.

Why can't you be his friend? If you wanted to become involved with him, surely you enjoyed his company, that wont change.

You need to keep in mind, even though your 19, you're still young and your life and his life are going to go through many changes.

When I was 19, I got married. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have done it. I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I knew him. As time passed, we both continued to grow as people but in different directions.

Don't focus so much energy on one person. Take it as it comes, but don't allow it to control you. When you're 25 plus consider getting serious. Until then, just have fun, enjoy life, and see where you end up. Meg

[insecurity]

is there a chance he is gay?

[Karbonopsinos]

Oh please.....why are women entitled to shun men at every corner and parade around as if they are princesseses, yet when a man shuns a woman, that's viewed as some sort of aberration (not getting some?) and it means he must be gay?

[meg]

( laughs ) why would you think he was gay? Does he show interest in other guys? Does he wear pink socks? Lacey undies?

[insecurity]

Originally posted by insecurity
is there a chance he is gay?


For all intents & purposes, you never know unless you ask. So I asked. Leave no stone unturned.
Besides, he could very well be gay.