Comming or going

[Messiah]

Hi, I'm new here.
I've posted a few reply's round the place I got stuck into it....wot can I say it's an interesting place :).
I need some outside idea's on a problem I have.
2 days ago I moved out of my girlfriend and mine's house intending to find a bigger place, in the meantime I've moved back home while I Find somehwere suitable and my girlfriend has gone back to perth for a few weeks, at least that was the plan.
latley we've been arguing heaps, we've only been toghether for a year and the last few months have been pretty bad. She has the worst temper, she bottles things up, does'nt look after herself physically and it all makes me feel like i'm not worth the effort anymore which pisses me off and the whole thing fell apart.
Now we've had space she and I see some of out errors and she wants to go to councelling and lose some weight to save us, but I feel it may be too late and the damage is done, the spark is gone.
What should I do, take the rocky road with the girl I love and turn this into a possibly stable relationship. Or find someone who I am passionate about with sparks and risk losing a stable trustworthy partner?.
-unhappy & confused. help

[Tyler]

I can't really judge for you bro. You need to decide for yourself. It will be difficult for me to decide too if i am in your shoes.

I only have this to say. You must know that it is difficult to change a person. Even if a person can change temporary to suit another, it won't be long before things get bottled up. If you feel that she is not suitable for you now, then what makes you think she will be suitable for you in future? Do you really believe that you or her can change to suit each other? I feel that it's better to find someone whom you feel are suitable now, then to find someone whom you hope will be suitable in future. If she has the worst temper now, she will most likely still have the same temper in future and this apply to other things you have said about her.

But couple tends to say irrational things and angry words in the heat of an argument. You can give this relationship one more chance and see how it goes. If it still turns out the same as before then it's better to suffer now than suffer for long.

[Messiah]

I can see you're point, I think it's just a hard thing to accept and to move on with.
I told her not to change just for me and she said that she realises she has some problems and she wanted to go to councelling to sort them out for herself not just for me.
I guess that was the thread I'm hanging on to with this relationship.
She's a really kind hearted girl, she would'nt hurt a fly, but this anger she has inside from her upbringing and the damage mentally her old druggy friends has done to her is a hard thing to live with. As I told her, I love you but i can't continue being your punching bag. It's like she has 2 sides to her, one is the one i fell in love with, the kind sweet loving side, then it just flips over to this hate temper from built up anger over the smallest of things.
Anyway thanks a lot for ur input it's really helpfull man:)

[Tyler]

no prob, bro.