Any guys or girls with this problem?

[MyMatt2003]

Hello, I'm having a bit of a problem of breaking my fear of being shy... It usually starts when I'm with my friends and I'll see some girls stairing at me like they are intrested.. but the problem is that i'm to shy to approach!!!! either because I don't know what to say.. or i'm a afraid of stuttering or whatever.. How can I break these fears?? I mean I try my best to break them but I just don't know how.. is there any guys or girls having the exact same problem I am? :(

[Fireangel]

Well, first of all let me tell you that it is totally normal for you to feel this way. I am a girl whose always been somewhat shy and let me tell you that I am not the only one that feels this way around a boy that you like, it is totally NORMAL. You just have to learn to control your impulses. How can you do this?? Stop worrying about what girls might think about you if you act some kind of way 'cause the truth is that it is not worth it. We girls are as human as boys. I've learned this by observing many people. As hard as it might sound or as easy as it may sound the best thing you can do about this is to be yourself. If you are a shy guy act shy with girls and nothing will happen. Most girls think shy guys are really sweet. Stop worrying and start acting. If you studder, the girl will understand . We are human beings not martians.

[Karbonopsinos]

Yes, there are plenty of other people out there who are as timid as you, me being one of them.

Just know your worth. A speak slowly, so you won't stutter.

[minxyminxyminx]

Also a bit of advice, try not to pressure yourself too much. Convince yourself you only want to make friends with the girl. Then the pressure is off you to impress so much and you will find friendly conversation much easier than you having to say the right thing so the girl likes you. A friendly approach is far more successful and less threatening than a guy who goes over to a girl and acts predatory. Just gentle conversation about how busy it is in the pub or ask where shes from or things like that. Then you will find you are more relaxed. If she blows you it it doesnt matter because you werent trying to get her to go out with you, you just wanted to make friends. If she cant handle polite conversation with you then shes not worth bothering with anyway. Dont be so hard on yourself hun

[opaque]

Start by saying hello to as many ladies in a day as possable expecting nothing in return. This should help you feel more comfertable when talking to ladys.

[Passionwithin]

I was like that go up to her and introduce yourself and ask her what you wnated to know ;) only way to do things if u don't it just gets worse

[insecurity]

Originally posted by opaque
Start by saying hello to as many ladies in a day as possable expecting nothing in return. This should help you feel more comfertable when talking to ladys.

exactly what I would have suggested ;)
hi opaque *waves*

It really does work. I have been using that technique for about 6 months now & I now have no problems talking to any female that I encounter ( I used to be extremely shy ). The beauty of it is the fact that you can say 'hi' to any female that you encounter & keep walking. You haven't put your heart or neck on the line yet you have broken a barrier of communication. You can also use it if you get to the bus stop, bar etc & you come across someone that you are attracted to. By saying 'hi' , it makes it easier to start a conversation with them later because you have already uttered those scary first words & when you do start talking , you feel as though you have already been introduced.
Hope this helps:)

[purelynebulous]

All the above is dead-on :)... especially realizing that each time you approach and get through it intact :p you get stronger for the next time.

And remember that all sincere attention flatters women incredibly. We love it terribly, even if we're too shy to make that clear to you.


~ Mia :heart:

[Cleo]

Yeah! Saying 'hi' is especially easier if you live in U.S. -- everyone says 'hi' on the street.

[reign226]

Erm, going around saying 'Hi' sounds a little too much. Won't people think you're a freak or something? Maybe not...

[angel143ml]

:angel6:

No, people will not think your a freak for saying hello! It might even make someone have a better day by cheering them up cause someone was nice enough to take the time to say hello. Yes, people in the US love to say hello to everyone, practice makes perfect after all. Maybe if you say hello to enough people that your not interested in, it might make it easier to say hello to someone you are interested in. And remember, girls arre only human, we get nervous too.

:angel6:

[reign226]

So how do you do it? Just walk over casually, 'Hi', then walk casually away? I dunno but when I say 'Hi', I subconciously commit myself to making a real conversation with the person. With people I know, saying a non-comittial 'Hi' is okay because I know them and I am giving them a little greeting like any self-respecting gentlemen. But with people you don't know (and by 'don't know' I mean classmates that I have never approached EVER) it's very hard to do.

On the flipside, I find no problem approaching the males and saying Hi. Somehow, it comes out naturally. With females, it's like, Me:Hi, Her:Hi, SILENT ME:(to myself)Why'd you do that for?!
It sounds strange, I know. Maybe I should make a concious effort to practise and ignore all the fear holding me back. Oh and just for information, whenever I am around a female classmate I don't know, I conciously try to AVOID eyecontact. With people I do know, I conciously try to make eyecontact. Classic example of femmophobia?

Sorry for sounding whiny or anything.

[Cleo]

True, when i first came to US, i felt weird, but you get used to it. Now living in Canada where many people look away when pass you by, or in elevator -- feels akward. Go figure.

[PerletPhp]

you don't have to strike a conversation up if u don't want to! err, dunno if u are in school still, but if u are just as u are passing someone that you like or would like to know better (sexually or non sexually) just say hey, or hi, or hey "name", or anything else to that effect, don't mumble it, say it clear and loud! if they don't say anything back, don't take it personally, either they didnt hear you or they just need a little more "help" as i call it. after a few "hi"'s if they don't respond, then just leave them alone, they aren't worth the trouble.

one quick thing. don't think that people like you or are flirting with you if they say hi back or if they even randomly say hi to you, they may just be trying to do some of the same things you are doing! (i say this b/c i fell into that trap, i didn't ask any1 out b/c of that but i did think that)

once u get that down and after say two to four "hi"'s =D then just start ur way up. maybe the fourth time if you are near them, ask them how their weekend went, or what they did, or classes or whatever. basically just get some general background info on them, then pose more questions off that if u like, slowly building it up

no one will think you are a freak if u say hi. of course if they do, then i am one HUGE freak!!! i say hi to so many people (girls and guys) i might go crazy! lol

anyway, sorry for the gibberish, good luck!

PerlEtPhp

[Hollis]

I'm a really shy person myself. If I don't know you then there is no way I'm going to approach you. If you find a solution to this please let me know!

[MyMatt2003]

I have a question to ask on this thread that has something to do with the topic, I have this really good looking girl in my class, I heard from several people that she is really nice and all, I also hear that she doesn't like guys that hit on her, I mean i'm a really shy person for some reason, I mean i'm not an ugly guy, I mean when I talk to girls they are surprised to see that i'm shy.. My question is, is how do I approach her in class without giving the wrong impression? She sits across the room from me..

thanks

[jidk]

What you are experiencing is quite normal.

It has been said that we are our own worst enemy.

You are putting to much demand on yourself when first meeting an inviteing situation.

Just relax, think of that person as just another friend that you have known for some time but want to get information about a new subject. Pretend to yourself that you really aren't interested in a romance relationship; nothin more than a causual conversation.

I think that you will be pleasantly surprised at the suscess that you will have.

THE SECRET HERE IS "RELAX" With a little practice it will come naturally with you.

:devil: :devil:

[LeBlueBoy]

Originally posted by MyMatt2003
I have a question to ask on this thread that has something to do with the topic, I have this really good looking girl in my class, I heard from several people that she is really nice and all, I also hear that she doesn't like guys that hit on her, I mean i'm a really shy person for some reason, I mean i'm not an ugly guy, I mean when I talk to girls they are surprised to see that i'm shy.. My question is, is how do I approach her in class without giving the wrong impression? She sits across the room from me..

thanks

Humor about general topics (if you can pull it off) is usually a pretty good start. You have at least one class in common, if you can find something to joke about there, you have a topic for conversation.

[AnnieRo]

I had they same problem. I was the one in school that was teased and kicked! I was a negitive thinker and it got me into alot of trouble But I got over it. You have to change the way you are thinking of yourself!!! You have to have confidence in yourself to know that you are who you are and they are the ones that are lucky to know you!! It takes time to change the way you think of yourself but you have to remember that no matter what Not everyones going to like you but thats ok because alot of people do!! There are some poeple that you dont like and its just nature that way. Three frases you most remember in life that I live by to this day!! With passion, you most think ....This is who I am, Not everybodies going to like me but alot of people do and Most important is.... I want you to know me because I am a great person to know. Always think positive and good things will happen to you......... Good luck and dont be shy!! :D

[reignman]

Yeah! Saying 'hi' is especially easier if you live in U.S. -- everyone says 'hi' on the street.

:xeye: What part of the U.S. did you visit?

Can't be from around my way.

[sparklincider27]

i have that problem too. i see guys looking at me like that and cant go up to htme, i wudnt kno wut to say.

[Ghass]

just put this in your head: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.

I mean whenever i feel shy or anything, i tell myself that im the one losing here not her!.

I would go through my shyness and go talk to the girl, and I dont mind if i look shy, i once told the girl im shy.

after some experience, you wont be shy anymore.PRACTISE :tup:

[sandylove]

I will make this as simple as it is, to overcome shyness, boys and girls listen to me and listen good, there is a simple way to over come this fear so let me explain.

Practise becoming fascinated by other people. Ask them about themselves, and concentrate when they answer you. Remember what they tell you about themselves so you can talk about it later, or on another occasion.


Great socialisers make other people feel comfortable and interesting. How do they do that? By being really, genuinely interested in other people. If you are talking to someone and you feel boring or inferior, ask why that is. Is it really all your fault?


Practise using fewer 'personal pronouns' when you talk about things. Sentences beginning with 'I' are not only a turn-off for the listener, they also keep the focus of attention on you, which increases shyness. (Note: Of course, part of friendship is giving away things about yourself, but only when you feel it is appropriate to do so.)


Remember that the way to overcome shyness is to focus elsewhere. Like on imagining what it will be like to really enjoy the social event, on how it will feel to be full of energy, or to be having a great conversation with someone.

Thank you and good luck everyone and for more love advice and live date match, do visit these websites below, im sure it will help. :nod:

www.livedatematch (http://www.livedatematch)
www.shuriko (http://www.shuriko)

[amazingjoan]

know what baby? put this in ur head, you must be hotter than 500,000 other guys in the pla and girls would prefer you to them.. you need not any advice just get over it by thinking that everyone else is the same as you.. or maybe start by doing things a bit mor discreetly.. start out by talking to women in forums like this (acmelove) or webdatedomcom or whatever since these sites will get you to interact with people without you stuttering.. try to talk to more people to regain your self confidence.. :apart:

[Edz]

i am also a shy guy like you. what i did was go to an online dating site. i flirted with some women and got myself a date. of course i got rejected a lot of times but at least its not face to face so i was not humiliated. thats the reason why we are all shy right? we fear rejection. in case you were wondering, i used webdatedotcom.