The Eternal Nerd

[Karbonopsinos]

Why are nerds so unappealing?

[shuxclams]

They arent...................... trust me. ;)

















SHUX

[meg]

Unappealing? -- laughs
Define nerd for me please...I think I'm getting old! lol

[hopeless1]

nerds arent unappealing it just depends on the girl what she is looking for

[shuxclams]

I think its more a personal issue than a general description.
















SHUX

[Karbonopsinos]

Yes, it is a personal issue.

A socially inept person. Shy, quiet, introverted. May be good looking or not. Usually quite intelligent. Quirky.

On a personal note: I am obsessed with symmetry. I drool over symmetry. Finicy at times. Very quiet, very few words spoken, monsyllabic conversations. Bookworm, scienceworm. Highly socially inept. Never been to a party in my life. Never introduced myself to a stranger. That makes me a nerd.

[shuxclams]

Never introduced myself to a stranger

Well there would be the problem in a nutshell, it isnt your a nerd it has more to do with your comfort in the presence of "new" people, I say new rather than strangers as it has a better and more positive meaning.


Extend yourself to someone, start with a store clerk and just be freindly and ask about thier day. Then try and be social with people, especially people you don't know, its the "jump in the pool and join the party" theory. Look, people are out in their day be happy, join them. I swear I have met people in totally random situations, I met a woman walking on the street and was just complimentary and open to meeting people, and I did. I have met people shopping, in grocery stores and in retail stores. Just open your mouth and say "hi I like your sweater its really furry" or whatever it is, shoes, eyes, hair, the book their buying, the CD their listening to whatever. People need strokes and you can do that without it meaning anything but a compliment, as a matter of fact when its pure like that it makes you feel good when you see their reaction, you'll not only feel good but might even make someone's day. And that is the bottom line, people are social animals, we need to speak and be spoken to..... so leaning against the wall waiting for someone to talk to you will never lead to anything desirable.







SHUX

[Karbonopsinos]

You see, I, at the age of 17, have already chosen my wedding and FUNERAL music. The Prelude from Gli Uccelli, the Polonaise from Rusalka, and the Cortege Sonata by Scarlatti for the former; Adagio in G for Organ, Dvorak's Psalm, and the St. John Chrysostom liturgy for the latter.

Creepy, isn't it?

Maybe I'm not just a nerd. Maybe I'm a megalomaniac. Maybe I've gone insane.

I've just been spinning this sh!t in my head over the past few months. Like injecting tumors with radioactive buckeyballs and spinning space-time onto a spool as some sort of new bs theory (excuse me, but this is pure bs).

Would you believe it, I went to watch Spiderman tonight and I felt immoral doing it.

I feel more and more twisted as time goes on. I had to talk to my research supervisor the other day, and I've known him for half a year, and I almost threw up from nervousness before I went into the room.

The other day, I got horrible cramps while giving my violin recital.

It takes me about an hour to write a pathetic little e-mail.

The weirdest thing about girls is that I'm crazy about them but when the flirt on me (which VERY few have), I suddenly fire back and become cold and harsh.

I feel more and more nerdish, introverted, and demented as time goes on. Knowledge is my life. I don't want it to be, but it sure is.

[meg]

You need to stop judging yourself as well as others. Except that you are a highly intelligent individual and accept that many aren't. You need to start talking down. You need to learn to communicate with your peers on their level, instead of using words that require thought or a thesaurus! You have chosen this state you are in. You have chosen to drown yourself in sorrow, self deception and now self pity. Dust your a$$ off, open the curtains in your room, go outside and sit in the sun for awhile. Give your brain a break and just check out gorgeous girls/women at the pool. I am curious...do you have any type of disorder, ADHD, depression, etc....Meg

[Karbonopsinos]

Originally posted by meg
Dust your a$$ off, open the curtains in your room, go outside and sit in the sun for awhile. Give your brain a break and just check out gorgeous girls/women at the pool. I am curious...do you have any type of disorder, ADHD, depression, etc....Meg

I'm afraid you don't understand. I'd feel immoral doing that. Besides, when I'm in the presence of beautiful women, I lower my eyes like some idiot and look away.

Disorders? You know my stand on psychotheories. But I'll tell you this: I had severe migraine/cluster headaches (they're not sure which) when I was an infant and again when I was 5 or 6. When I say this, I mean every single day for months on end, secluded in a dark bedroom, vomiting sometimes, screaming at other times from the pain. That's about it.

[meg]

I'm curious... whatelse makes you feel immoral and why?

When was your last Computerized Axial Tomography/CAT Scan?

[Karbonopsinos]

Please don't try to make me out to be some maniac.

Generally, I feel uncomfortable when enjoying myself in "lower pleasures." Such as watching TV or movies, or eating at restaurants. It's not so much the money, but the gesture. Higher pleasures are reading great literature, listening or playing music, appreciating art, and all sorts of learning, as well as simple physical activity. Physical activity is much more natural to me than the "lower pleasures."

I feel a great affinity for beggars. Don't ask me why.

Sex of all kinds before marriage makes me feel immoral. I've never done it. Greed for money is immoral. It constitutes idolatry. I have a very cynical view of the rich.

I don't date, at least not yet.

I hate drunkeness. I dislike drunkards. I will never get drunk.

I am very close to my sister. We know everything about each other, much more than our parents.

As for the CAT/MRI, I've had many performed on me since age 5. They first thought it was a rough case of meningitis, ran a spinal tap, then did the CAT/MRI again and though it was schizophrenia. My brain is structurally "abnormal" but that's not necessarily bad.

IQs taken three or four times over the years. Parents never told me the numbers.

So they skipped me to 3rd grade. Migraines recurred, skipped me another two.

The migraines are over, but I have an incredible sense of grandeur about me. I wonder what life has in store for me, if I must sacrifice all to help others.

I hate hypocrisy and triviality. Being on this forum is somewhat of a contradiction, since I know nothing about sex, etc., and much of the content posted here is pure mush (I'm not saying all of it is). Hey, at least it's a vent.

Well, that's my spiel.

[Mouth of God]

I see nerds in 2 categories, High Tech Nerds...The kind that know everything about technology and like sci fi movies
and the Marching Band Nerds...
Personally i like the High Tech Nerds they talk to me about kewl stuff...then again im a guy which brings me to the reason they arent appealing...its what they talk about, personally i LOVE talking to pretty girls (sorta shallow but you know) but you need to be able to say what you want sometimes and a conversation about "how kewl it would be to own a lightsaber" is just one of those things you cant talk to girls about.

The Marching band nerds are the group i really hate they live in their own f'ed up dream world and not only disgust but annoy all my girl friends so i have basically been taught to hate them as well...I am told of stories of perversion,bad social skills,and harassment.

[Wren]

I was in the same exact predicament you are in, oddly enough. I couldn't bring myself to talk to people or do much of anything social. I never went out with groups of friends, or did anything that I felt wasn't useful.

Somewhere down the line I kinda lost that though...I just..kinda stopped caring about myself or my issues or anything. A bit extreme, and I don't suggest the means I took to it, but it worked.

I think these folks are right in saying just "jump in the pool and join the party". It'll probably work. Actually you are lucky, cause I'm one of those techy nerds except I'm just interested in science and technology, yet I am not good at either of those subjects. Kinda like a....nerd without a cause. x_X haha...

Just go out and start chatting like shuxclams or meg said. It does work. It's just an insanely difficult step to take.

Off topic: did you happen to read Stephen Wolfram's new book? I couldn't snag a copy at Barnes and Noble. ~_~ okay, sorry I went off topic ^^;;

[Karbonopsinos]

Thanks Wren, I know I have to try. It's just really hard.

As for you mouth: I fit neither category. I despise computers and electronics. I hate most sci-fi movies. I hate marching bands even more. Same goes for modern "art" and a load of other crap in this world.

Just a word, don't hate the nerds. We haven't done any wrong. If we live in our own dream world, that's our affair.

Btw, when you say I should go out with friends, I gotta let you know that I have none (i.e. 0, seriously). My best friend moved when I was in sixth grade and I've never had any since. So I don't know what I can do about that.

[Cleo]

it sounds like for the first step you need support. So how about visiting a councillor at your school/college or elsewhere. Noone has to know about it except you and the councillor! They can help to pull yourself togheter. I went once cause i was skrewing up my studying big time, it was an interesting experience: here councillor studied me and i study him, wondering how he will do his job of councelling. After that i got some confidence back, like a breath of fresh air, and you feel 10 pounds lighter in the shoulder area.;)

[Karbonopsinos]

So, girls (and guys), what is appealing and unappealing about male and female nerds in general?

Compare...

[shuxclams]

It is about your personal attitude, not so much a label that you or others would place on you. ie; I am a major geek, I act like one I talk like one on and on.... Yet women are intrested in me.














SHUX

[girl]

well...i can't say that "nerds" are unappealing as a group (they're generally alot more stable) but the introvert personality may have something to do with it. Something I've noticed is that extroverts attract extroverts. They go out and look for friends/relationships, and so it's alot easier to get someone who is trying to do the same. Introverts don't naturally reach out to others, even though they want human contact just like anyone else. It may take a little effort to establish a relationship wih this sort, and people are lazy. (okay, that sounded like alot of pop psychology rubbish but it's a pattern that's set in my school at least)

[Karbonopsinos]

I think you've hit it girl.

[girl]

Gracias, just something that comes with being a people-watcher.

[MyMatt2003]

Hey, I just think you just have to go out and not give a f***k on what people think and just have a good time man... You're a very smart person and you like a cool guy too.. You just have to go out one day and just have a good time.. go out with your buddies at night. Meet new people, I mean it could be people from anywhere.. get more social open your wings a little..
Just open yourself up.. Take the good as well as the bad..
Sorry if it doesn't answer your first question but its just a suggestion.. ;)

[reign226]

Karb here is a guy I can relate to. You don't mind me calling you that, right? Anyway, I'm new here, and I'm a chinese from East Malaysia. How's everybody doing?

Anyway, I am a self confessed geek. Not Trekkie geek (which the West often associate geeks in general to) but the computer type of geek. In other words, that makes me socially inept in my school, where everybody is either into sports to science. Scary thought, no?

Anyway, as a geek, I have to say this: we are not 'boring' per se. It's just that we have different interests which many people may think to be out of the ordinary and its harder to converse with someone with other interests, right?

I am having a somewhat similar problem all geeks have been getting: no, not a soulmate but a mere female friend. Truth be told, I believe geeks (that is such a degratory word) are very sensitive to the signals (self-interperted signals, which is often misinterpeted) sent by females. They cherish friendship greatly (because of obvious reasons) and are, in general, not ready for anything more beyond have a close female friend. We're not looking for a one-night party ending with a romp in the mattress and we give more precedence to intellectual pursuits.

I'm not too sure aboutthe cultural disparity between America (I'm making an assumption that the majority of posters here are from that country) and my own country. Do any of you know any female geeks? Unfortunately, in my school, I don't have any. The most exposure most of my classmates have with ICT is ICQ. And since this is a science stream class, most of the students here here communicate with basic English. I consider myself to have a highly refined English and when chatting to people, I usually try to be polite and adjust my level. Here is my question: will females consider flashy English as a show of braggart? Most of my female acquaintences admit their inflexibility in English so will I seem to be belittling them when I use bad english to match them? You know, things like "tomolo got skool ka?" and things like that? I need to know.

And sorry for the long post and excessive parentheses. I like to express myself in several different ways and I always get the notion that I have twin personalities. But don't worry, not all geeks are mentally ill :)

[Ms Dynamite]

:D If you mean 'nerd' as in the type of person who forsakes all social activities to indulge in academic activity then I say....nope. Not at all unnapealing. In fact, strangely intriguing.....:blush: :teleport: Fire bad, tree pretty. :p

[reign226]

Appealing? Any reason(s) for this?

[Fireangel]

Hey don't worry.
I believe you are as normal as we all are. Do you think everybody else in this world is normal except you? Cause let me tell you something, everybody is a freak in their own way. Everybody has some things in their attitude they don't like. The fact that you like to read and know stuff is not a bad thing, it is a good thing. If you take more pleasure from reading a book than going to a party is perfectly normal. We are all different huh?
I don't believe people who define someone as a nerd are usually award of the term. They just say someone is a nerd if they look geeky. What do I mean by looking geeky? Well, they are not self confident and act like they've got a low self esteem. What makes a man be hot, hot, hot? Well, let me tell you..Even if a boy is extremely ugly, if he has a strong personality (huge self esteem and security in himself) he may be the most wanted boy in the world, why? Because attitude is transmitted, even if we don't want to..Why do people can tell if someone is sad even the sad person hasn't even spoken? Because we have a 6 sense to decipher what other persons are thinking.
It's ok to be the way who you are as long as you are ok with it, and if you like a girl..Just be who you are, do not pretend to like things you don't and be sure of yourself. Trust me.

[Tyler]

Just be who you are. I always believe that if you treat the person nice, he or she will know it. Even if they do not reciprocate, it's ok, cos you should be happy doing it.

[Alicia]

Personally I find the geek/nerd thing unattractive, but I guess that's not the general case.

I have a geekish friend, who even tries to go for the nerd look, and personally I find him repulsive for anything but just friends.
However, 5min walking down any street and he literally has girls flocking all over him!
Whats up with this??