Being noticed amid other flirts

[steveall]

Sorry to post two in a row here (I'm trying to learn as much as possible). How do I get myself noticed by a girl (say in a club) when she is being bombarded with other flirts and people buying her drinks. I've noticed that they tend to end up with the guy that is most aggressive or, persistant (which I am neither...I feel like I am bothering someone if I keep going back). What's the secret?

[Karbonopsinos]

Maybe the bar is not the best place to meet women. Bars are locales where all sorts of people meet. Usually the aggressive men win.

I feel exactly like you. I'm reserved because I do not wish to bother other people. It's not that I think I'm worthless. I simply know that if other people pestered me it would annoy me royally, so I don't do it to others.

[shuxclams]

Find another area of interest then, if you are not up to the "compitition" of a bar do not worry, think about what people at a bar are doing and think about the fact that most peoples judgement are a bit askew considering they are intoxicated. You will however need to be more forward anywhere else if you are to find a women. Go to the coffee shop and start by flirting with a waitress, you'll learn a great deal from them as thats all they get everyday all day, and if you can make headway then you might be ready to try it elsewhere.









SHUX

[meg]

I suppose I'm quite the opposite. I tend to like the guy, who is more reserved. He is the confident one standing at the bar, laughing with his friends, and occasionally making eye contact. He would be the type that would walk over, sit a drink in front of me, smile and walk away, leaving me wondering who he is. This makes you a paradox.
If she walks up and talks to you and your friends, don't reply, just listen to her and look away. This drives girls nuts, wondering why you don't show an interest and eventually cause them to ask you the questions.
Always be yourself! If you attempt to become someone else to get noticed, it wont last long. When you are being yourself, you will attract the type of person that is right for you. I believe in what is meant to be, doesn't pass you by. Meg

[Sk8rBoyMC]

TO: meg

wouldnt not responding, and then just looking away make the girl angry, cause i know it would make the girls around here extremely angry...

just a thought,
-sk8r

[Passionwithin]

meg is right best way to go i always like to mix it up i leave the girls wondering and sometimes flirt with them in a obvious way so they would notice and i'd see there responce to it. You don't know things until you try it :)

[Pandora1980]

Yes, I agree- be yourself, but I also agree that if someone set a drink in front of me, walked away and then wouldn't talk to me, I'd be pissed and wait for the next guy to buy me a drink.
Clubs and bars, in my opinion, are very different, I can't talk to anyone in a club and most of them are creeps anyway. Bars are better for being able to hear the person you're talking to, in order to better get to know the person (as compared to a club).
Be yourself, don't act like a creep, but even though you're shy- make the first move, generally, only girls who are really drunk will make the first move.
Make the first move, if they seem unintersted or you are, move on- don't bother them all night, that's just annoying. But do try to strike up a conversation. A guy could buy me drinks all night, but I'll give my number to the one who could hold a conversation with me.