I dunno what to say to her........

[Sk8rBoyMC]

OK, heres my deal
THeres this girl i really like a lot, and shes usually in a great mood, and seems to always be happy. Well, lately her friend has been treating her badly, and lying to her behind her back. I'd like to be there for her, but I dont even know what to say....she is convinced that it is not going to work out, and has been crying for days now. I really really need your help. Absolutly any advice will be extremely appreciated....

thank you in advance

-sk8r

[Karbonopsinos]

Let me tell you a story.

A few years ago (3 summers ago, to be exact) I was at this wonderful summer music camp taking lessons with members of the Phily.

Anyways, our conductor was a nasty old man and when the midway concert was over, he recognized in front of the audience practically all soloists except for the first flute, who had had a massive amount of solos.

Backstage and on the bus back home, she was crying all the time. I was one of the people that sat by her and comforted her.

I don't mean to brag, but I didn't even really know her. I didn't even know her first name. I do know, though, that I was not sexually attracted to her. This was done purely from pity.

That night, she wasn't receptive at all, only to her closest friends. And in the following days, I thought she had been a bit offended by it. She didn't speak to me for the next three weeks.

However, on our last concert, half an hour before it, she approached me and told me how thankful she was that I had been there, especially since I had not really known her.

So you see, even if the advance wasn't made sexually, even if it was not well received at the time, be certain that it will always be remembered by a worthy person.

If you like this girl but don't know her well, sit by her, comfort her. Even if you don't know anything about her (I'm sure you do), just sitting next to her when she's depressed or crying is a compassionate gesture. And DON'T do it for sexual reasons. Do it because she is unhappy. Share her burden and pain and take the load upon yourself.

Be assured, she won't respond then, and don't expect it. But she will always remember you as the guy who's heart was soft enough to feel pain when he saw a fellow human being in pain and tough enough to show it to that person and other people.

Unless, of course, we are dealing with an insensitive pig here, in which case my advice is probably pretty useless....

[Mouth of God]

If her friend is a girl then you just gotta settle the dispute (girls love when you solve problems for them) just call her up or send her an IM and be like yo you gotta chill.
I dont know your personality but if one of my girl friends has a problem with a girl in our "group" ill normally talk to the other girl through IMs (i get nervous when calling girls) and basically start bringing up how they used to be good friends and stuff...the entire conversation is basically telling her that ill get them both to mutually make up and forget the past and never do it again.

If the other girl is some ghetto trash trying to start a fight with one of the girls in my "group" and get all rowdy and ill be alittle more malicious and send an IM that says "You gotta chill the f**k out before you make a mistake" followed by another IM that says "Oh yea your guy friends are idiots and cant beat me"