being approachable

[girl]

I dicussed with a friend the other day something he said bothers him about some girls he has met- they are all kind, funny, intellegent ect. but the problem (from his perspective) was that they were all "unapproachable" :confused: He said this meant they didn't dicuss relationships, were "too independent", "not flirty", or aloof (but not arrogant or mean). I don't see the problem at all, and was hoping the guys here could enlighten me. What makes a girl "approachable"? What makes a girl an "Ice Princess"? Do any of you have a similar dislike for assertive women? Thanks for any explanations.

[Karbonopsinos]

An Ice Princess is the most appealing creature there is. I LOVE assertive and confident women. Our personalities clash, but then again, there's so much more passion ;)

In any case, the ice princess is simply a woman who has high standards and knows her worth. She won't accept second best. I love these women. I hate the flirtish women.

[Wren]

For me it depends on the situation. If am looking for just a few dates then a flirty girl is the best, cause I could go out with her to get to know her better, and see how things go. You know...friendly stuff. But "Ice Princesses" are so much better for long-term relationships. Getting one to go out with you steady is hard (especially in my no-car no-college case) but the ones I have dated are friends for life. :)

Again...it depends on the aproacher in question. Some guys (quite a few) dislike women who are confident and hold themselves like queens because....(and this sounds bad)...it takes more "work" to get close to them. =\

Question: Does your friend think *you* are unnaproachable?

[girl]

yes, wren, my friends and i have been called "unapproachable" by other guys, and that's why said person brought it to my attention, and hence the dicussion. but i still don't see the problem w/ it. i'll stay frozen, thanks.

[shuxclams]

Ice princesses are nothing more than scared and/or self absorbed. But alas, like all ice, it eventually melts. ;)
















SHUX

[girl]

shux-you are what i'm talking about. what makes you assume that all women who don't show immediate interest are scared or self absorbed?
...still not getting this, but from what i'm reading it sounds like ice princesses are too hard to get a few dates with, so they aren't for the impatient sort.

[shuxclams]

Are you an Ice Princess or just not approachable? If everyguy ignored you would you be happy or confused? Playing hard to get will only lead to attracting people with whom you cant have relationships with, so remain frozen, be cold and distant and come back and tell us all how your relationships go..........



On the other hand, a warm receptive and kind person who would be approachable in any fashion will likely draw warm, receptive and kind people to you....








SHUX

[girl]

I am by my friend's defenition an "Ice Princess" because I'm not incessantly flirty like some girls. I don't dress or act a certain way to attract attention. I don't go looking for dates, it usually just happens, and when it does it never seems to go badly. I am happy with my smaller circle of friends but I never shut people out before I get to know them. So what is the problem?

[Karbonopsinos]

Nothing. You're exactly my type of girl.

[shuxclams]

Nothing. You're exactly my type of girl.

:D Well?













SHUX

[Karbonopsinos]

:p Well what?

[girl]

uh....wondering that myself. whatever, and thanks. ;)

[meg]

Girl, don't allow labels to affect your life. Continue to be yourself, you will attract the men/boys that are best suited for you.

There is no reason that someone can't be independent, know their self value and still be a flirt -- laughing

Just because someone else dresses a certain way, or thrives on attention, doesn't make them a bad person, it doesn't mean they are easy, it doesn't mean they don't know their value, it could just be that they enjoy their bodies, the way they look, and are out going people. Meg

[girl]

thanks, meg, i realize it, i'm just trying to figure out why others don't.

[reign226]

Hmm, this is a really interesting question. However, I believe there may be too many different definitions for Ice Princess. If an IP (Internet Protocol, he he) is a girl who is very unreceptive of others and is always with a cold look and attitude then believe me, no-one is going to like being around such a person.

However, if Ice Princesses are defined as someone with independent opinions, always honest even if it may hurt the other person, always outspoken in what they believe and they have a friendly aura then they're definately going to attract a whole spectrum of guys. Shy boys will finally get a good topic to talk (or argue) about while males craving an intelligent conversation (beyond gossip and making uncognitive sounds) will gravitate towards such a person.

I myself will also be interested with making friends with such a person. However, females shouldn't be going around creating opposite opinions dishonestly because they can be easily exposed as a fake and I believe a women's views and arguments must be done with passion, not faux disappointment. Be a real Ice Princess, not a fake one.

[LeBlueBoy]

Originally posted by girl
yes, wren, my friends and i have been called "unapproachable" by other guys, and that's why said person brought it to my attention, and hence the dicussion. but i still don't see the problem w/ it. i'll stay frozen, thanks.

Your friend is misusing the term "approachable." Maybe what he means is "conveniently available"

Approachable doesn't mean slutty, spineless, dependent, clingy, or bubbleheaded. Approachable people are friendly, upbeat, and interested in people. It usually indicates self confidence and a good social presence.

Someone who is approachable is often a person who has no reservations about initiating a conversation, is interested in having a good time, and does not feel the need to constantly be on guard. I find approachable females to be generally entertaining, positive, and quite confident.

Non approachable females are usually percieved as angry, defensive, or judgemental. Life's too short to attempt contact with someone who gives off the impression that they'd rather be left alone.

Being friendly and encouraging is as attractive (if not moreso) as being flirty, and it opens up the possibilities of meeting new people and experiencing new things. It shows a general comfortableness with people, and in turn makes the person comfortable to be around.

If you're not putting up emotional barriers, are generally friendly and a little outgoing, I imagine that the problem in "approachability" lies with your friend (and his own self confidence) and not with you.

[reign226]

Here's the deal, I am usually very reserved in my class and I'm usually found alone reading. But when I get online, this entirely different persona takes over me. I can't stop chatting and friends I've made with online usually refers to me for an intelligent conversation or two.
However, when these same people approach me offline, there is this cloud of doubt over my head and I usually am short for words, unlike my other male friends who seem to have no problem initiating and prolonging a conversation offline. In other words, I have two entirely different personalities depending on whether there is any physical contact.
Any advice for my case? Just your thoughts on this phenomena.

[Chameleon91]

I'm what you would call an Ice Princess, but so what? What is with the lables? I dress fashionable, but I keep it in it's perspective. I have a pretty face, but I'm more intelligent than most people who are my age and older. There are too many men out there who are still little boys. If they don't want to grow up why should we put up with them. Excuse me, but my time is precious. Everyone's time is. If you don't grow up you're wasting your time. If you're putting up with someone stupid then your wasting your time. I carry myself a certain way and I plan to stay like that because the way I am doesn't cause me any problems. In fact, it always makes situations better.:)