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View Full Version : should i apologise?


Zab
07-01-2002, 08:13 PM
sorry if this is the wrong board for this but i don't know where else it belongs

there's this girl that used to be at my school from which we graduated a couple of days ago. i used to have a crush on her but we sort of fell out (i blame myself for that) but i still have some feelings for her and the past few months she seemed to be giving me another chance, if only for friendship.
so, after the graduation we of course celebrated that. first we did that at school and during this we agreed on going to a festival (she gave me her phone number for it), I made jokes she could appreciate, I sat constantly next to her, I commended on her choice of future education, I told her parents she's a great person in front of her and I rubbed her back for one or another reason. then we went to a bar and things were pretty different, she was kissing and dancing with some guy, then she was really down due something, I rubbed her arm and asked her what the problem was and some moments later she walked off. a friend of hers told me she has loveproblems, apparently with a guy who had been ignoring her at that bar. she rejoined our group later on, we had fun and ended up at some guys room. at that room I sat next to her on a couch, and after a while I noticed I had moved from the left of that couch ot the centre and she from the centre to the right. the night ended when we left to go to another bar but she and two friends drove off without telling me or my mate where the bar was. we found it but it was closed and we spend an hour trying to get back home. she didn't bother to call us where we were or anything like that.

next day i saw her at a club where she gave me a friendly hello but went away pretty quickly and i noticed she had someone with her (maybe that guy who had been ignoring her the night before?)
another day later, i called her and asked her whether she was still interested in going with me to that festival but she told me she had already set up with a group (and didn't invite me to join)

i'm sorry if this is a confusing story. i don't think it surprises anyone i was pretty drunk that night and so was she. even though i think i didn't misbehave, i'm afraid a was way too rash and direct in showing my appreciation and scared her off.

so i'm thinking about calling her, apologise to her and tell her i'd like to be friends

Sk8rBoyMC
07-02-2002, 04:54 PM
couldnt hurt...

Zab
07-02-2002, 05:35 PM
tell me more please, i really don't know whether i'm making a big deal of this
i'm probably not going to see her a lot this summer, so i guess i could just leave it at that

Karbonopsinos
07-02-2002, 05:38 PM
Yes it could. If he has nothing to apologize for, he shouldn't.

Forwardness, unless its indecent, isn't wrong.

He didn't grab her breasts afterall.

Sk8rBoyMC
07-03-2002, 02:22 AM
if he wants her back, he sounds like he does...then he should apologise. it doesnt look like shes going to anytime soon.....so if he doesnt, it will hurt there "relationship". Apologising could only help, even if he didnt do anything wrong.

Karbonopsinos
07-03-2002, 10:02 AM
No it couldn't, because apologizing when you've done nothing wrong or not apologizing when you have is damaging to one's dignity, either way.

I suggest you talk to her, ask her if you've done something wrong. If you have, then, of course apologize. But don't grovel to get her back, especially if you've done nothing wrong and she's aloof just because she's not attracted to you.

Zab
07-03-2002, 06:13 PM
i don't really need to have a love affair with her. what's most important to me is that we're on good terms with each other and that she trusts me. that wouldn't be possible if she's afraid i'll make a move on her every time i see her.

she isn't aloof to me, except at occasions and i think that has more to do with me than with her (i have a bad habbit of making mocking jokes for instance) i don't know whether she's attracted to me though she has sometimes sent signals but she'll at least want friendship

i think it's a good idea to just ask her whether i crossed the line that night, i'll do that when i have the opportunity

Sk8rBoyMC
07-04-2002, 02:19 AM
i don't really need to have a love affair with her. what's most important to me is that we're on good terms with each other and that she trusts me. that wouldn't be possible if she's afraid i'll make a move on her every time i see her.






let her know that you would be happy, with only being friends...

Wren
07-04-2002, 07:00 AM
Yes you should definitely let her know that you aren't comming onto her, and that you just want to know if you are on good terms. From how it sounds you seem to be already on her good side, but she might be afraid because your signals sound rather....non-platonic, to say the least.

My advice is, call her and let her know how you are feeling. Communication is invaluable in any sort of friendship. But yeah..don't apologize unless you are certain you did something wrong.