Height and more

[PerletPhp]

Hi everyone, I haven't been here in a while, but I am back! Not that you are all jumping up and down at home, though. :) Well, if you could just take a little time to read my comments and give me a little feedback, I would be much appreciated.



// Begin Height Thought

Ok, this is more of a poll i guess? I like this girl and she is smart, attractive, fun (well i won't bogg u with details =D), and she thinks I am ok (at least i get those signals) but the problem (if you consider it a problem) is she is 5'9 and i am 5'6

so i was talking to my friends, and i was like hey should i ask her out (b/c i am a nice, ambixous [sp?] guy -- attractive, but not super, of course i consider myself a hottie :D) so my friends were like no she is too tall

**Side Note: I told her friend that I thought she was hot, lol, its long and complicated but I was going to ask her out anyway but then I thought I had to go so I told her friend who was near (the girl I like was still in class, taking a test) that I thought she was hot b/c I wanted to get my feelings out in the open, so I guess we will have to see till next year, i'll keep u posted =D**

so my question to all (females and males) does height matter to you? if you were dating a taller or smaller person of the opposite sex would you care?

do guys have a preference, do girls?

// End Height Thought


// Begin Odd Response
I thought i would put a few of my feelings on here for this has been bothering me for a while. Ok, I have been coming to these boards for quite some time and I decided to take some of the general advice. To go aproach girls. ^_^

Well about 3 months ago, I started hanging out with this group of girls (ya know, I thought I would strike up a spark of friendship) and I did so every morning. Anyway, I am not going to say things were going horribly but I guess they weren't going as good as I wished. I'm almost 18 and haven't had a date yet so I feel I must get a girl friend soon. As I said b4 I am not ugly (if I do say so myself), and am liked by all and try to be friendly to everyone.

Anyway, sorry to get off topic, about a month or two ago b4 school let out we were going to have a half day. So I asked a girl if they were doing anything after school. (my name is justin) So the girl says "Justin... Didn't your mother ever tell you it isn't nice to invite yourself to places" then i was walking along to my class (alot of them happen to be in my class) and her and another friend was in front of me and the girl told her friend even though i was right behind her (so for all of you who saw that episode on friends where joey and rachel are talking about chandler and chandler is right there, that's how i felt, and how i responded) I was like "I'm right here!" she was like "I know". So besides making me feel like crap the rest of the day it got me thinking, what the h*ll did i do? so does any1 have any suggestions? ya i asked her friend (which is a long deal, she said yes, then she told me no) but other than that, i can't think of any reason why she wouldn't like me (as a friend)

// End Odd Response


The kindest of regards,
PerletPhp

(English translation: Perl and Php, don't ask me to tell you what they mean -- they are programming languages, and no i am not a geek, i am a cool tech guy, lol)

[Karbonopsinos]

If you're almost 18 and haven't had a date yet, it really doesn't matter. You should date when you're mature enough to accept the consequences. My sister still hasn't dated and she is 23 (and she's not ugly either). She's just unapproachable for the time being.

As to your question, I think that height does matter. People like to say that the only think that matters is what's inside. That's true, but initial attraction usually occurs because of physical traits. Some people can get beyond that. For instance, when I see a girl give money to a begger on the street or watch her play a lovely piano solo, no matter what her looks are, I look a bit harder and attraction can develop.

Nevertheless, looks are king in the beginning. So, I would say that if you and she are comfortable with you being shorter, I say go for it. 3" can be a lot or a little, depending on how you feel about it. My mom is about an inch taller than my dad and it's really not noticeable. 3" will be more noticeable, but can be overcome.

Our society has some pre-set notions on male and female traits, and height is one of them, unfortunately. Just like breast size, musculature, and other insignificant stuff like that.

Personally, I have only one objection to size....extremes. I hate it when a woman is 1 ft. taller than the guy or the guy is 2 ft. taller than the woman, especially the latter. When I see a towering giant guy and a girl that could pass for a dwarf, the dominance of one over the other is really a bit unsettling.

[Cleo]

Hey, guys! I personally don't think height matters, because my bf is shorter than me and i am very attracted to him. He is really nice, smart, and hothothot:D . The chemistry was there right when i saw him, so i even didn't need to "get used to the height difference" . if concidering physically, to me it's not height, but the rest of appearence.

REgarding the odd responce, the girls are not interested, i think; at least not seriously. Maybe they think it's not COOL to go out with a shorter person. Well send them to football players and buy them cheerleader puffs! That's a bimbo action.

To you: not to worry, because you seem to be good intelligent person, for who the smart girls crave ;)

[PerletPhp]

thanks guys, that makes me feel good =)

ya those girls started to annoy me after a while, lol, then i realized they weren't all hyped up the way i thought they were.


thanks again!

[PerletPhp]

err i hate to sound greedy ^_^ but could i have a few more comments?

[Fireangel]

Hi what's up?
Well, I believe that height doesn't and does matter to different kinds of people. I love guys who are taller than me.. I am also 5'9 and it is really hard for me to find tall guys. I don't like shorter guys though because if I use a high heel or something like that in a certain occasion I would look taller and I wouldn't be looking at my husbands eyes throughout the evening, but to his hair hehe if you know what I mean. But hey this is just me. There are lots of girls who are willing to date shorter guys. One aunt of mine is as tall as me and his husband bearely gets to her shoulders. Another similar case is the mom of one of my best friends. She is taller than me and her father is like a head shorter. So what I think you should do is ask one of her friends if the girl you like would like to go out with shorter guys in general, because as you already said to her, she is very pretty. It would sound logical and wouldn't show your feelings that much, you could make your move peacefully. Trust me !!

[Swift]

I agree with Fireangel, in that it probably depends on the person more than anything. I think in general, most people wouldn't be too fussed about a 3 inch difference - significantly more and it would no doubt become an issue for a lot people.

Personally I don't conciously think about height when sizing up a potential date, but quite possibly the subconcious is, as I've never really dated anyone who has been significantly taller or shorter than myself.

-Swift

[Sk8rBoyMC]

Hello,
I personally dont think height matters, for example: My aunt (whose 5' 4") and my uncle (whose 6' 7") have been happily married for 25 years, or something close to that. Well, my aunt totally rules the relationship, its kind of wierd, and hard to get used to. She isnt bossy, but I personally think that she is smarter, and therefor he respects and trusts her.


Just a thought
-Sk8r

[PerletPhp]

thanks all ^_^

i dunno what i'll do, i just dunno, i am all confused about the whole 'girl' issue

should i just lay low once school starts? or should i take the plunge and ask this girl i like to the dance? remember she is a bit taller than me, probably about a 4rth of a head but i haven't seen her in a while... or should i ask someone new?

i'm scared, excited, and nervous at the same time


i saw minority report --> it was great!

thanks

PerletPhp

[meg]

I'm 5'9...
I have never dated a guy under 5'9...
I really haven't found myself attracted to them. I personally prefer men to be 6' plus. It is partly due to the way I feel about my height. The other issue I have encountered over the years is the number of men, who are shorter, seem to have a cocky attitude. I don't deal well with arrogant, insecure or controling men. Now, I can't say I never would. I like the total package, not just the exterior...

I do have a friend that is 5'8. She loves shorter men. She claims what they lack in height, they make up for below the belt ;) She swears by this theory...

I also have guy friends who have this perfect imagine of the their ideal woman, and she isn't over 5'5 :) Meg