Separation and Dataing.. do they Mix ?

[realkuhl]

I am in the process of ending an 11 year relationship. We've been married for 7 years and have a 20 month old little girl. The way we see it, our daughter is the "fruit" of this relationship. At this point, we're room mates that live together (no physical or emotional connections whatsoever for so long I can't remember what making love feels like..:rolleyes:

OK, so here's the question for you all...

Are there ANY girls that would be interested in starting a relationship with someone that is still very much financially and physically connected to another relationship? How would I explain this to someone I was interestetd in without sounding like a sex crazed 37 year-old :smash:

Or, do I just need to chill for the next 2 years in the mountains to "find myself again" ??

Curious to what you all think.

-Realkuhl

[opaque]

Nope!! Not the way to go. I suggest you go find yourself how ever long it takes. Makeing new friends is ok however, don't ask for more than you can give. Get out on your own make a new start if thats your choice then she will find you. Always finish a relationship before starting a new one.

[shuxclams]

Both,
If your separated/divorced and willing, you will be able to find some women who will not only understand your situation but like the fact that their isn't a commitment, and there shouldnt be either, (believe it or not), which leads to the other part. After a long relationship like that you need time to find yourself as you stated, you have been intwined in another persons life for so long it will take awhile to unravel all those emotional ties that you have created. Spend time alone and feeling the pain of the breakup, don't go out with people when you are "saying goodbye" to the old relationship but do make an effort to meet new people when your mind is clear of the emotions. You will find the balance, at first you may need to spend 5 hours feeling like crap about the breakup, then go to coffee or something and talk to some new people, say "hello" so to speak to a new one, or potential one for an hour or two. In a few months it may only be an hour a day of feeling the breakup and 6 hours meeting/dating a new person. Be easy on yourself, stay honest with yourself and the people you are/would date. Be careful not to "settle into" a domestic routine, it will be easy to do that since that is what you have known for so long, but that is not good for you when you are starting a new chapter of your life, start anew and have fun. Be sure to go on dates that take you to new places, when you do find someone that you can share things with go to those "old" places and reclaim them with new memories with new people. It won't be easy but it can be fun. ;)






SHUX