Is This a Flirt

[daydreamer]

There's a man at my church that stares at me all the time. Someone else called it to my attention so for almost a year, I've noticed that this man constantly stares at me. One day I decided to approach him and offer him my phone number. I told him that since we live in the same area, maybe we could get together and talk and he said okay. Since he was in a hurry, he said he'd get the number the following week. Well the following week, he didn't say anything and neither did I. A few weeks later, I noticed that when I pull into the parking lot, he's still sitting in his car and as soon as I go inside, he comes in about 5 mins later. This went on for about 3 weeks. Meanwhile, every Sunday or any day we're in church, he stares at me every chance he gets. One night, he walked up to me and said hello and even shook my hand but it was an odd shake because he didn't really let go but rather let my hand slide out of his as he kept walking. (It was almost like we were holding hands and broke apart because we could no longer reach each other). As of tonight, he's still staring and instead of turning my head, I just smile and nod then he turns his head. What is this and what should I do....

[Karbonopsinos]

OK, this guy is crazy about you. Do something about it. Obviously if you're going to the same church, and if it's genuine on both sides, you probably agree on a lot of moral/philosophical/religious issues and now you just have to figure out if you like his personality and appearance. From what you've said, I figure that you could potentially find him attractive if you knew for sure what his motives were....you could "see yourself with him."

[daydreamer]

Thank you Karbonopsinos, I'm just not so sure he's interested. I gave him opportunity but he didn't take advantage of it. Yes I do find him attractive and right now could see myself with him. However, that could change if we ever get the chance to talk. I don't understand why he won't approach me.

[The Dude]

It seems like this guy is rather shy. It's probably the reason why he has not approached you. I am sure that he must be attracted to you because he keeps stairing. Mabe you should give him another try... approach him again. Try and start a conversation and see how he reacts. Hopefully he will overcome his shyness and give you his number. :)

Good luck!

[AlexAnt]

I agree with Karbinopsinos and the Dude. This guy either 1) likes you a lot and is shy, or 2) is an insane stalker. But I think #1 is much more likely than #2. :)

Alex

[Swift]

Yup. Definately either a complete nutcase, or really shy. Just go out of your way to talk to him a bit more, and you'll soon find out which category he fits into!

-Swift

[Daisy814]

Nah, he likes you :) I was in this very situation a while ago also with a guy from my church. He was very open around his best friend, but when it came to talking to girls, he froze. This went on for a couple of years. Within those years, I tried talking to him at church, talking to him at his locker when we were in highschool (I saw him in church and school!) He would stare at me and "run into me" at times where I knew we'd never see each other, but 'somehow' did! If I caught him staring, he'd look down really quickly. He would always stand close; rubbing at times. I really liked him and made several obvious "go ahead" moves, but he never followed through with them and eventually I gave up and moved on. I still see him in church when both of us are home from college ~ he still glances over at me quite a bit...but he still won't talk. It was/is sooo frustrating. But now that I have a boyfriend, he's seen that I've moved on. And now he has a "regret" look on his face.

[AlexAnt]

Daisy, that's sad. :( Us males can be very dumb sometimes (okay, perhaps even more than sometimes), but I think you did the right thing. Hopefully, at some point in their lives - preferably sooner rather than later - every nice guy will discover that the act of making the first move is actually less unbearable than the state of being constantly lonely, and will make an effort to ask more girls out.

Making the first move is like riding a rollercoaster: An utterly terrifying experience the first couple times, but once you realize that it won't kill or injure you, it's really not bad at all. The thing to remember about those first few trips is that, terrifying as they may be, you'll be alright as long as you don't throw up all over yourself. (<-- Alex's Timeless Words of Wisdom)

In the event that the shy guy daydreamer speaks of is reading (and I'm sure he is): Ask her out already, would you?!?!?

Alex

[Daisy814]

Even though shy guys have the cutest and flattering form of flirting, it gets very aggravating for us girls when we've done everything we can to let you know that we won't turn you down and yet you stay put and say nothing. :(