my first real post which IS REAL, unlike "others" :p

[razvan]

Hello all,
Here's my problem nr. 1: i just entered a relationship (i finaly told her i love her and she loves me too). BUT we are both kinda silent...and i worry i am boring her. I am not sure what she feels about this. Any ideas what i could do?
Problem 2: She is 15 i am 17, she's my 1st girlfriend (17 years alone, imagine...) Ok. Sohuld i start holding hands and hogging her, etc. yet? I only told her a few days ago so i wonder if its not too soon...
I'd appreciate your help :)

[Swift]

It's really a difficult question to answer, because one really has to be in your shoes to know exactly what to do. It's one of those situations where you simply have to go with your instincts. If you are with your girl and it feels right to hold her hand, or hug her, or kiss her, then do it! Simply go with what you feel, and live 'in' the moment.

As to the two of you not having a lot to talk about, I don't think it's such a huge issue given that you are both youngin's. Besides, if all else fails, the topic of 'school' (e.g. "Can you believe what so and so said in english class today" etc) should provide endless hours of conversation. As one gets older, I think conversation becomes far more key to the relationship. I know at my age if I was in a relationship where I couldn't converse easily, then there's really no way the relationship would work.

-Swift

[Karbonopsinos]

If you can't talk, then don't kiss!

[Pandora1980]

You said you love her, but you don't talk? How did that happen? That's like saying you love Pamela Anderson or Tom Cruise.

If you actually love her, why don't you feel comfortable just hugging her when you feel like it or holding her hand?

If you're both really quiet after the L word was said, maybe that's why. Maybe you freaked her out. I'd much rather hold a guy's hand and hug him before he tells me he loves me. It's a scary thing to hear at 15, how's she supposed to know if she loves you or not, you're probably her first boyfriend, right?
It probably makes it a lot easier for her to freak out since she can't get a tingly feeling up her spine when you hold her hamd, hug her or kiss her since you don't do it.

[razvan]

thanks finally a good reply. See, she is SO shy now we talk more. The thing is i am not so sure if i will scare her by hugging her or she'll be ok with it, because ya, i am her 1st boyfriend, i don't wanna make her think i only look for physical contact or somehing like that...
i know her better now anyway so i'll try stuff out next time we're more or less alone (her damn friend is always there talking - ican't do anything during school lunch time) meh, summer break comes :D cool !!! i'll get this rolling really well soon

[garage sale]

She's probably just being shy, I think you two have an attraction going on here, but the sudden change in relationship is always intimidating, even moreso if it's your first time... Once she's a little more comfortable with the idea, she'll open up, and like Swift said, just go by your instinct... take it slow... don't try to do everything in one night. Start by sitting closer... give her the opportunity to cuddle when you're watching a movie or whatever... It'll come when you feel it :)

[razvan]

thanks, that is quite encouraging :)
what happended lately: she told me she knows she does't really show her feelings (she IS shy). Apperently we are both worried about what the other will think and that keeps us from expressing our feeling more. I guess i'll just have 2 break the ice, just see how she reacts. (hopefuly positive)
One more thing: a first kiss: i'm thinking that should happen in a special occasion, right?

[garage sale]

I've thought of a billion situations to have THE first kiss and I think I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter where you are, but just that the timing is perfect (or almost perfect) ... catch her in a real sentiment moment. If you're just chilling maybe you could be like, "You know what? I like you." *peeeeeck on the lips* and if she kisses back, make it more of a smooch. :rolleyes:

[cpbs3]

Well me and my girl were friends before we started to date and call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. It was me who told her first that I loved her and it took her like forever to ever tell me she loved me. But when she did I knew it was from the heart and not just saying to please me. And since we were friends before we started to do those things people in loved did it was a lot easier for me and her just to say, "tonight we are holding hads or we are going to get close on the coutch". Thats how simple it was for me and her since we were friends before we feel Love. And plus after we kissed and so on we never told anyone that we were boyfriends and girlfriends since all we ever knew is that we were friends before. But later on we just decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend. Sorry to take up your post :).

Hope that helps

[razvan]

i see...
well, we knew each other before me telling her how much i love her and all, but she did say she loved me when i did. The thing is i am confused... Neither of us has experience, and she doesn't really show her feelings. She even admited it, she sais that she is such a coward when we are together, and she only says what she feels when we chat on MSN or in e-mails. We also talked about it a bit... I have to somehow make her feel more free to do well anything. See, for example, when i kiss her on the cheek, she doesn't kiss me too, she acts like she's an object that allows me to hold her, kiss he (on the cheek for now)...
See, like we didn't spend lot of time together before, like you and your girlfried / friend before. That's mostly because at school she is like with her other friends, and if i would have told her to see each other, well it would have been obvious...
---> in conclusion, any ideas how to make her feel more relaxed i guess, less shy maybe?

[giagirl]

I am so releived to see that there are still teens with morals!!
I work in juvenile corrections and 3/4 of the young men (13-18 yrs old) on my case load are already parents. I am not stating that young parents don't have morals--I was a young mom myself..but I am glad to see that all teen boys aren't preoccupied with physical acts.
As for your situation, take your time, it will mean more in the long run.
Good Luck to you both! :)