To meddle, or not to meddle?

[Karbonopsinos]

Meddling. What do you think of it?

I'm wondering if I should embark on a bit of meddling. See, there's this girl who I found initially to be extremely attractive (she has an amazing face) + she was from my parents' country of origin (we are Yugoslavs of mixed ethnic origin). To be quite honest, this girl is supermodel material, at least as far as beauty goes.

Well, anyway, I felt very turned off when I observed what a sluttish lifestyle she was leading. She had had over 3 different guys over the past half year and had been sleeping with all of them.

Today I spoke to a mutual friend of ours about another important issue. However, we got to speaking about her and he told me that her grandmother had told her to have sex with 300 guys if necessary, to find the "right" one. He also told me that she had had over 40 boyfriends until then and had slept with a great many more guys.

A while ago there was a huge scandal on campus when she converted to another religion to date another guy and when he refused to have sex because of his faith, she dumped him and renounced the faith.

I've decided that it is perhaps time that someone should tell her about this. I know its not my business, but I really care for this girl, and I'm certainly not interested in a relationship since I can accept only a virgin, and she certainly is not one. It's just that she's such a friendly, beautiful, and intelligent girl and it seems so sad to see her get trashed by numerous guys and getting the campus reputation of a slut. Also, I think it gives our people a bad rep on campus...people have started claiming that the Eastern European girls are the biggest whores on campus and she confirms it.

Just recently, her previous boyfriend was having sex with another girl behind her back and dumped her, and now, a week later, she's with another guy. It seems that is just rebounding from one guy to another and when that relationship cracks, she rebounds on the next guy. It seems that all they want is sex for free (and they're using her) and that she wants sex with a constant relationship.

Now, as to my proposal, do you think it would be wise to approach her and tell her what I think of her and how messed up her life is? Or would she explode in my face if I did something like that?

[opaque]

K, you mean well,but I don't think that would be the way to handle it. From what I know of your tact she will hurt you BADLY.

[AlexAnt]

Since you don't want a relationship with this girl, it doesn't sound like you have much to lose. It would be incredibly rude of course, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's possible she will learn what you'd like to teach her only through further experience. (Although how many STDs she will have picked up by this point is anyone's guess.) If you do decide to say something to her, try to keep your crotchal area out of the general vicinity of her foot. :)

Alex

[Karbonopsinos]

I never said I don't want a relationship. I don't want a sexual relationship. But I definitely want to maintain a friendship, since she is one of the few people on campus who speaks our "secret" language, we swap folk song mp3s, sometimes we organize yugo and balkan style dinners for international students, we watch yugo movies like "Underground" and the latest Oscar-winning trash, and in general we have some good fun.

If I didn't care at all, I wouldn't be writing this. However, I'm very much afraid for her, that she's probably caught some STDs and doesn't know it, and is in danger of getting AIDS and pregnancy. I'm also afraid that she wants relationships and that guys are just using her as a rag and she doesn't even know it.

Guys have become so crafty nowadays, acting the "love" routine yet just wanting sex all the time. I'm afraid girls are getting increasingly duped by them.

Even if her grandmother did tell her to do the stuff she does, her grandmother lived in a time when there was no AIDS.

[AlexAnt]

Well, alright - if I were in your position, I would talk to her about this, if for no other reason than the fear of STDs. Would I get kicked in the nuts? Probably. But at least I would be able to say I tried to help.

Alex

[BriarRose]

Have you talked to the girl yet?
I do have some advice, from a girl's point of view.
If you care about this girl, she is your friend, say something to her. Be tactful and sit her down and say I would like to talk to you about something that is bothering me and I am worried about you. Emphasize the point that you care and dont want to see her hurt. It really is noones business but her and her sexual partner's who and how many people she sleeps with but tell her that you are worried that she might get into trouble.

Many girls think that you can find love by sleeping with alot of men. Maybe this is what she is trying to do. Or maye she is trying to make herself happy. Who knows? your concern is that she is happy and safe, tell her that...and if she takes that well, then you can mention other stuff, concern for her reputation etc. Just be prepared for a backlash.... she will likely see it as you being jealous of her, or as a way to deny her actions. If you are a true friend, she will get over it and care for you all the more. But cover the Family Jewels!:rolleyes:

[Ms Dynamite]

I agree. Talk to her about it. She will thank you later even if she refuses to see your point from the get go. Besides STD's and AIDS, there's also pregnancy to worry about aswell. I am assuming she is quite young and a baby is a huge responsibilty to carry for the sake of 10 seconds in the sack with a guy who doesn't care. Talk to her. :cool: