what should I do??

[Diamonds]

Hi,
I met this guy whom I am attracted to. I know that he really isnt a match for my future, and I want to enjoy being single. So I decided to sleep with him one night after we went out to a club. In a way I am happy, cause I was just out to have fun and experience new things. The experience turned out to be not to enjoyable(he couldnt really perform and kept trying and trying, then tried to blame me, then apologized, then tried again..etc). But now I am sad cause I had fun hanging out with him and his friends. I now think it will be akward considering that the experience wasnt great and that we are both shy. So my question is, does anyone have any suggestions on how to act towards someone in that type of situation?

[Karbonopsinos]

...is sex really that important to you?

Would you be willing to give up the a guy you like/love just because of sex?

Sounds slutty to me....

Besides, what's a virgin to do? What happens if you marry someone who can't perform? Should you divorce them?

[Diamonds]

well my whole point is that I was out to experience and have fun. If it was someone I loved, and they couldnt perform, well yeah I would do anything for that person. Some people chose to wait till marrige or to stay virgins, that is their chose and opinion. It doesnt mean that people who chose to have sex are slutty- its just their choice to have sex.

[Karbonopsinos]

OK, I misread you. But that means that you're willing to have sex with someone you don't like/love? :confused:

[Diamonds]

Well Karbonopsinos,
I think that it is a good thing to have a few experiences with different people before you get married. This is MY opinion. I feel like I have the rest of my life to be commited to one person. I am the kind of person who likes to experience as much as possible. I have rules and morals, but they are very open. I liked being close to that particular person for one night cause it was fun, and I dont have to be committed. Its not a normal occurance with me, its just something that I wanted to do- I lived in the moment. The only thing I regret is that the experience wasnt the good- but I dont blame anyone, I just take the lesson with me.

[Tyler]

I just love to read posts like this.

True, frank revelation of feelings and thoughts by real humans.

Thanks Diamonds for sharing.

Karbo, I think you are concerned about other people but your words may a bit judgemental.

I just want to say that we are not saints, we are real humans with different feelings, preferences and opinions.

Maybe I am mental.... :p

[Diamonds]

AMEN!

[Diamonds]

oh my gawd,
so that guy called me last night and wants to hang out again. I feel all pressured to have sex with him and It is stressful, cause I don't want to go throught another "bad" experience. I am going to choose not to have sex with him again cause I do not want any drama. It sucks cause I like hanging out with him, and if the sex would've been good, then I'd be over there like every night. I dont know.....

[chris1971]

sex with friends is a difficult pathway...I have mostly women friends and almost inevitably we'll will end up in bed...usually the problem I have found is telling them if this happens we will still only be friends doesn't seem to help. They end up becoming possessive and push for a relationship.

If the sex was good I find myself trying to get it more from them and again they start taking it as a relationship.

[Diamonds]

Yeah Chris ,
I totally agree- women always want a relationship. For some reason men can separate emotions from sex but women can't. As far as this guy goes, we had bad sex, and he wants to hang out again. I totally think he wants to try again to make up for that night or something. I guess I feel uninterested in another night of bad sex!
Chris, a question- when you have sex with your friends and they sleep over, visa versa, do you usually hold them and kiss them all night?

[needapair]

Well I am in the same situation as you were with this guy. I started hanging out with a girl towards the last few weeks of school and we became friends rather quickly. I can tell she's attracted to me and when I am visitting her this weekend I'm pretty sure I will have the opportunity to have sex with her.
However, I am a virgin. I don't want want to disappoint her w/ premature ejaculation/poor performance, so I'm going to masturbate as much as possible before seeing her (might not have a chance to the day I see her) and I've been reading up on sexual positions, cunnilingus, etc. I'm thinking I'll preheat the oven for quite a while before I stick in the turkey, but hopefully I can avoid being too quick on the draw when I finally take the plunge. Is there any kind of herbal supplement that will decrease sexual performance (prolong ejaculation)? Hopefully I will be quite drunk when it comes down to it....

[starbright1923]

Needapair... Incase you've never heard, excessive alcohol makes performance even worse... some guys can't perform at all when they're drunk. I might rethink that idea if I was you... Tell her you're a virgin...shouldn't be any secret, and might explain a few things to her. At least you would be being honest.

[needapair]

That is the reason that I intended to drink a lot(difficulty getting it up). If I have difficulty getting it up I will have difficulty getting off. I'm not going to be inebriated, just slightly drunk. I really don't think it will be a problem as I've been able to get it up in the past when I was drunk...
A lot of girls could be turned off by the fact that I'm a virgin, they wouldn't want poor performance and a quickie. I intend to tell her afterwards, but any tips on good positions would be helpful...